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Pre-wedding Parties

E-party question - why is it bad to host your own?

This came up in a thread on a different board and I was just wondering...

Why is it inappropriate to host your own e-party?

Isn't that traditionally the occasion where the engagement is formally announced? 

Why would anyone bring gifts to honor an engagement they don't know about yet?

I have a hard time seeing close friends & family being offended if a couple threw a party at their house and were like "Oh, btw, we're engaged now" and then a few congratulations and a little pre-wedding talk was thrown in the midst of regular conversation.  (Which would likely happen at other family functions that followed anyways.)

Please explain :) 

Formerly known as flutterbride2b
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Re: E-party question - why is it bad to host your own?

  • hoffsehoffse member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    This may not happen in your circle, but I never go to an E-party empty-handed, and most people in my circle don't either.  That doesn't necessarily mean a registry gift, though I will get something small off of it if the couple has already registered.  Still, because some people bring presents, I think this is a reason why you don't host your own, in my opinion.

    While sure the engagement is traditionally announced at the e-party, that's not what happens anymore.  It's just another thing for people to come to.
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  • edited December 2011
    My fiance and I hosted our engagement party, but we didn't require anyone to bring us any kind of gifts and we didn't register anywhere.
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  • LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'll be honest... I don't think it's rude at all. In my social circle it's common for there to be no engagement party or for it to be an impromptu gathering of friends and maybe family. We just don't usually think about having one. If there IS a formal one, it's usually because someone's parents wanted to have one. Otherwise, it's usually a facebook invite out to a bar to celebrate or a phone call to come over to someone's house. No one brings registry gifts or anything, although they might bring a bottle of wine or alcohol. But that kind of thing always evens out, so it's not considering throwing a party to get gifts for yourself.

    I could see it being rude if it's a big formal thing that people have to buy an outfit for and are expected to bring a gift to it. But in my social circle that's unheard of. I find it really odd when I read about people having formal ones. It just seems pretentious to me, although I'm sure it's not when people actually attend one. But because I've never been to a formal engagement party, all I picture is stuff like that big one in "Bridesmaids" lol.
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  • WildMageletWildMagelet member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_e-party-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:0a09a0de-9440-4011-b268-e6d67db55610Post:cb79866a-a359-49d2-875e-8b5cb65c93f0">Re: E-party question - why is it bad to host your own?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'll be honest... I don't think it's rude at all. In my social circle it's common for there to be no engagement party or for it to be an impromptu gathering of friends and maybe family. We just don't usually think about having one. If there IS a formal one, it's usually because someone's parents wanted to have one. Otherwise, it's usually a facebook invite out to a bar to celebrate or a phone call to come over to someone's house. No one brings registry gifts or anything, although they might bring a bottle of wine or alcohol. But that kind of thing always evens out, so it's not considering throwing a party to get gifts for yourself. I could see it being rude if it's a big formal thing that people have to buy an outfit for and are expected to bring a gift to it. But in my social circle that's unheard of. I find it really odd when I read about people having formal ones. It just seems pretentious to me, although I'm sure it's not when people actually attend one. But because I've never been to a formal engagement party, all I picture is stuff like that big one in "Bridesmaids" lol.
    Posted by LoveMuffins[/QUOTE]

    I've never been to an e-party, so I really don't know.  I just imagined it in my head more of hosting a BBQ, dinner party at your house, or inviting your closest friends & family out and going "Yay, we're engaged now" when everyone's together, but it sounds like a lot of other people are hosting them as more of a "We're engaged and throwing a party, now you need to bring me presents and talk about my AW self all day."  I'm assuming the former is fine, while the latter is obviously a no-no.
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  • edited December 2011
    I truely believe that it is absolutely acceptable to throw your own engagement party as long as there is a registry that you are expecting gifts off of and isn't this huge formal rent a hall thing.

    My fiance and I are throwing our own with help of my MOH and our moms to celebrate that union of two families and to just celebrate with our close friends and our family that lives in-town. No gifts are expected, just great food, drinks, and maybe some toasts to the family for their help supporting us over the past years together.


  • freebread03freebread03 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: E-party question - why is it bad to host your own?:
    [QUOTE]I truely believe that it is absolutely acceptable to throw your own engagement party as long as there is a registry that you are expecting gifts off of and isn't this huge formal rent a hall thing. My fiance and I are throwing our own with help of my MOH and our moms to celebrate that union of two families and to just celebrate with our close friends and our family that lives in-town. No gifts are expected, just great food, drinks, and maybe some toasts to the family for their help supporting us over the past years together.
    Posted by heasure[/QUOTE]

    Wow, really?  You think its perfectly acceptable to throw your own as long as you register and expect gifts?  Sometimes I think some of you girls are living on a different planet.
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