What if I don't want a big wedding?

vivmassa · January 2012

I really don't know what to do. I have a big family and so does my fiance. But even though everyone wants to be apart and all, we both just want everyone to come. We don't care for the bridal party and all of that. I just want an elegant ceremony and a fun reception.

I am a hopeless romantic so the ceremony is personal to me and I want it to be intimate, ya know? How do I relay this to my traditional parents who want a big everything? We have the both sites confirmed, but I just don't know what to do. Then my fiance, he just wants his family to come. He is not that interested in a bridal party either but will compromise to keep me happy.

Can anyone help? please?

MyNameIsNot · January 2012

I don't they you are conveying what you are trying to convey.

If you don't want a big wedding, don't have a big wedding. Having a large family doesn't have to mean they are all invited.

As for your parents, keep in mind that if they are contributing financially, they get a say. If you are paying for it yourself, you can politely ignore their opinions.

TiffannieF · January 2012

FYI (I know you are new to TK) but if you post the same post on different boards be sure to but a "XP" then your subject title, this way people know this is a duplicate post. I commented on this on the ceremony board...and mynameisnot...I'm with you...I don't understand what OP is asking.

redheadfsu · January 2012

1. You don't have to have a bridal party. But if you are already asked people to be in the wedding party you can't kick them out (well, without ending the relationship).

2. When you say both sites are confirmed, does that mean you have both the ceremony & reception venues booked? Who paid for it? Whoever paid for the venues (and the rest of the costs) get a say. If your parents paid, then they have final say on the guest list and other things. Since everything is booked, sounds like it may be too late to change the plans (well, you can change it but the deposits will be lost).

I'm still kind of confused about your post, but I tried my best to explain what I think you were asking.

tldh · January 2012

How many boards did you post this on?

vivmassa · January 2012

Sorry about the numerous posts. New to the boards but I get it now.

Happy Wedding Planning!

toothpastechica · January 2012

i have no idea what this post is asking.....but as far as numder of guests, its up to you...but your relationship with your parents/family might become strained if you dont invite them. I wanted to keep my wedding small but my family is huge, so i ended up having to cut all friends out, was i happy with this....not really, but in the long run family is always going to be family and friends come and go, and not inviting reletives would not only offend them but it would put stress in my relationship with my parents, and its easier to explain to friends why they are not invited then to explain to family.

What if I don't want a big wedding?

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