Do you think...

PaigeMcC · June 2010

that you tone yourself down, or act nicer, or you're softer, or however you want to put it, on other boards?

I find I'm usually pretty blunt but on my month board I just can't be. Sometimes I just want to be like "WTF?! BIOTCH" But I know it wouldn't go over well on that board, it's got a lovely-dovey niceness feel to it. Don't get me wrong, it's not all butterflies and rainbows, but I do find myself having a softer tone and being a little nicer sometimes. That and when I read something that makes me want to scream I just ignore it.

Anyone else?

Narwhal · June 2010

I don't go on many other boards and actually post, except students occasionally. I am nicer there I guess, because I'm less likely to joke around like I am here, which is where a lot of my "meanness" comes from.

PaigeMcC · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_think-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b8e4fcad-0bbf-4861-9f44-c413118d1cd6Post:f6aa3a89-412d-43a5-9331-240d6d26c133">Re: Do you think...</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't go on many other boards and actually post, except students occasionally. I am nicer there I guess, because I'm less likely to joke around like I am here, which is where a lot of my "meanness" comes from.
Posted by Narwhal[/QUOTE]

<div>Don't lie, they're not jokes - we're know you're a big meanie pants!<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" /></div><div>
</div><div>I think I'm like you - I don't joke as much and I'm just more reluctant to post. It's just my month board tho. Must be too many puppies and rainbows there.</div>

catemeg · June 2010

I sometimes go on the Military Brides board, and it drives me nuts! I feel like I'm back in my camp counselor days with a cabin full of a bunch of hormonal teenagers who think they're grown-ups. There's all these 17-19 year olds who are getting married before their boyfriends go off to training, and it's just incredibly frustrating. There are a few women who I can relate to a bit better, are a little older or have had a bit more life experience, but there are so many girls that I want to shake and tell them to go enjoy high school and prom and that a wedding is not just a glorified version of prom.

So yeah, I'm the old, bltchy buzz kill on that board.

KD+BC · June 2010

I don't post on my month board anymore because they are too supportive of each other's bad ideas. I also don't really post anywhere else.

Kroliczku · June 2010

I don't post at any of the other boards, but I read through them sometimes. Ive actually read people compare that board to this one and talk about how much nicer people are over there. Maybe because it's all mostly brides planning weddings...where as here its mostly just people talking?

catemeg · June 2010

For me, the month boards are much more focused on actual planning, which is great when you're engaged and planning (as several of you are). Pretty much useless for me... but I've lurked a bit on the local board where we plan to get married (my hometown). I always wonder if I've met these girls in real life...

PaigeMcC · June 2010

Don't get me wrong - I like my month board. The girls are really sweet but sometimes I really just want to be like "And why would you think that would be a good idea?" But instead I stay quiet.

I think Krol (that's what I've decided to call you...lol) might have hit on something. We're not all here to plan. Some of us are, some of us aren't but we're chatting more than planning, I think. I dunno tho....we do a lot of planning.....hmm...

Ana_2985 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_think-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b8e4fcad-0bbf-4861-9f44-c413118d1cd6Post:d2a7bbbe-42ec-4965-a337-486bed088269">Re: Do you think...</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't post on my month board anymore because they are too supportive of each other's bad ideas. I also don't really post anywhere else.
Posted by KD+BC[/QUOTE]

My month board is the same way. It's very "It's YOUR day, do what YOU want." So I guess by not posting what I really think, I'm being nicer. I also don't post there often because it's just a little too peppy for me. Nice, but not for me.

Besides for on my month board, I don't have a problem sharing my opinion if it's different.

dwest2201 · June 2010

I've posted a couple things elsewhere but its rare and I leave out the sarcasm there.

Kroliczku · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_think-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b8e4fcad-0bbf-4861-9f44-c413118d1cd6Post:c1f54d4f-9934-4d3c-b7a5-421f9f0316e7">Re: Do you think...</a>:
[QUOTE] I think Krol (that's what I've decided to call you...lol) might have hit on something.
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>HA! I obviously should have thought about the shorthand possibilities before I started this account :P </div><div>I agree that a lot of you plan things...but I'd say most of the posts on this board are just random "what'd you do today/im bored-annoyed-happy". not much is very wedding related. I suppose that makes sense given the board is full of people who aren't even engaged yet! </div><div>Anyway, the point being that a lot of people end up here to plan, and this board is more focused on a group of fairly regular posters who chitchat. If/when I get engaged....you can bet I'll be using this board to plan. You guys are great fun and brutally honest...I'm a fan.

</div>

GreenPepperBurger · June 2010

I'm pretty much the same on the boards where I post (and I tend to go for the "meaner" boards -- Chit Chat, Etiquette and Snarky Brides). I have no use for a month board yet. Sometimes if you're the only ostensible "mean" one, it may be harder to voice your opinion, so you just stay quiet.

leia1979 · June 2010

Before I post, I tend to re-read what I wrote to make sure I don't come off wrong. I really do reign in what I'd like to say sometimes (not so much here, but when I read the Knot iPhone app sometimes I want to slap those girls silly).

By the way GreenPepperBurger (is it okay if I just call you Burger?), you've made some great posts. I like what you've said over in Just Engaged, too.

GreenPepperBurger · June 2010

Aw, Leia, shucks. *blushes*

And yes, Burger is fine.

PaigeMcC · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_think-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:b8e4fcad-0bbf-4861-9f44-c413118d1cd6Post:fe6389e7-d861-44aa-9dea-42621df7d2dc">Re: Do you think...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm pretty much the same on the boards where I post (and I tend to go for the "meaner" boards -- Chit Chat, Etiquette and Snarky Brides). I have no use for a month board yet. Sometimes if you're the only ostensible "mean" one, it may be harder to voice your opinion, so you just stay quiet.
Posted by GreenPepperBurger[/QUOTE]

I lurve me some SB. I find those girls are, usually, spot on and hilarious. good times!

ekathleen684 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_think-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:b8e4fcad-0bbf-4861-9f44-c413118d1cd6Post:c1f54d4f-9934-4d3c-b7a5-421f9f0316e7">Re: Do you think...</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't get me wrong - I like my month board. The girls are really sweet but sometimes I really just want to be like "And why would you think that would be a good idea?" But instead I stay quiet. I think <strong>Krol</strong> (that's what I've decided to call you...lol) might have hit on something. We're not all here to plan. Some of us are, some of us aren't but we're chatting more than planning, I think. I dunno tho....we do a lot of planning.....hmm...
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

When I read this I thought "Krol the Warrior King"

I have not been on any other boards yet. I don't want to be the new kid and I'm afraid they'll judge me and my lack of planning.

PaigeMcC · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_think-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:b8e4fcad-0bbf-4861-9f44-c413118d1cd6Post:7ecb8d61-4a4f-4a74-8ad6-529c21d011f4">Re: Do you think...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do you think... : When I read this I thought "Krol the Warrior King" I have not been on any other boards yet. I don't want to be the new kid and I'm afraid they'll judge me and my lack of planning.
Posted by ekathleen684[/QUOTE]

I was worried about that too...but it's so puppies and rainbows on most of them that there are no judgements. *gasp* weird, right!? lol

jeanacorina · June 2010

I don't post much on other boards. Sometimes on my local board because I like supporting local businesses and want to talk about the experiences I had (and, previously, I wanted to hear about the experiences other girls had). But Baton Rouge is sooooo slow. I probably post twice as much as anyone else, and I MIGHT check it once a week.

I don't think I temper myself there. But, there's not much to say (we did have some drama over people recc'ing a vendor because the vendor offered a discount if you did.... but none of the girls had any pictures or real experience with them... they just booked a trial and said "ZOMG you should book them! They're great! I have a trial run in 6 months!" I was very honest about that).

I think I am always a colorful ray of sunshine and happiness wherever I post.

Unless you count FB, which is a little more "real me." The real Jeana is sarcastic, and says things like "ass hat." But still nicer than the average bear.

notquiteblushing · June 2010

The month boards are pretty dumb. They're all puppies and rainbows to each other but if anyone has a contrary opinion watch out. I really wanted to give my honest opinion of someone's makeup trial today (you can find it if you are smart) but since ten people posted before me saying it was awesome I decided to stay quiet. I did defend someone on another month board yesterday and was accused myself of being puppies and rainbows but the regs on this board just pounced on an outsider for no reason and it was stupid. Anyway...I've been lurking my month board more lately since it's coming so close to the wedding and yes I think I'm a little more formal and helpful on that board but that's because I'm not really friendly with any of them.

loves2shop4shoes · June 2010

I haven't posted on other boards yet, but I have checked out Military Brides (just for the fun of it, it doesn't apply to me) and I completely understand where catemeg is coming from. If I posted on there, I'd probably be dubbed a "bitch of epic proportions". Some of them are CRAZY...along the lines of "I'm 17 and my boyfriend and I are SOOOOOOOO in love and he's SOOOOOOOOOO perfect and marriage is going to be SOOO amazing...even though my parents think I'm too young, they don't know what they're talking about....cuz I'll be an adult in 7 months so therefore, I know just as much as they do."

I'm only 5 years older than that, but I still cringe. They're so naive, immature, and self-righteous, I'll be shocked if they DON'T get divorced.

leia1979 · June 2010

Heh. Just check out the Knot iPhone app, loves2shop. It's brutal. It's full of stuff like "OMG, no one here would ever end up divorced because we're in luuuuurve" (even though they're all like 18. Or "OMG, I'm so mad because FH's parents won't help pay for our wedding so now my parents have to pay for all of it!"

I read it for the MUD. Or maybe just the D.

catemeg · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_think-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b8e4fcad-0bbf-4861-9f44-c413118d1cd6Post:20efb7f9-0b4f-4d75-8cc2-fb2a543adc3f">Re: Do you think...</a>:
[QUOTE]I haven't posted on other boards yet, but I have checked out Military Brides (just for the fun of it, it doesn't apply to me) and I completely understand where catemeg is coming from. If I posted on there, I'd probably be dubbed a "bitch of epic proportions". Some of them are CRAZY...along the lines of "I'm 17 and my boyfriend and I are SOOOOOOOO in love and he's SOOOOOOOOOO perfect and marriage is going to be SOOO amazing...even though my parents think I'm too young, they don't know what they're talking about....cuz I'll be an adult in 7 months so therefore, I know just as much as they do." I'm only 5 years older than that, but I still cringe. They're so naive, immature, and self-righteous, I'll be shocked if they DON'T get divorced.
Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]

It's true, and rather sad. One of them is a pre-med student who will choose her medical school based on where her FI is based (which just sounds like a terrible idea) and I asked her if she had a patient having an elective procedure with a 25% survival rate, but if they waited 2 years they'd have a 50% survival rate, which one would they recommend?

She still doesn't get it - she said, "Whatever was best for the patient. It would be their choice"

Well, duh. *headdesk*

loves2shop4shoes · June 2010

cate, oy,...there are no words.

That's what scares me...that people on the boards find out how old I am and have the same knee-jerk reaction. It's like I have to automatically defend myself because I'm 22 just because 97% of those under 25 are out of their mind, beebee brats!

It's so sad...I really hope I don't come off as bad as they do.

catemeg · June 2010

17 and 22 are a world of difference, and each person is different. In this case, the girl is 17 years old, pre-med, and is telling everyone that living with her boyfriend is the best thing for her, not going to the best medical school she can get into. To me, that is not a very mature decision.

One of my BF's sister is 18 and has been with her BF for 4 years. Honestly, I'd hope they wait a little bit, but having seen them and their relationship I wouldn't have major warning bells going off if they got married in the next couple of years. She's mature, they're both independent, and they're good to each other.

On the flip side, my cousin is 19 years old. She's still obsessed with the Jonas Brothers and is in a relationship with a guy she's never met (friend of a friend) and posts long video montages with her all kissy-face on his FB wall lipsynching love songs. *gag*

Age does not maturity make.

P.S. I'm 24, so I'm young, too. If things go as planned, I'll be getting married at 26. The statistic I'm referring to is based on military marriages for people over/under 20 or 21 years old. It seems for most people, the difference between being a teen and being in your 20's is far more important than 20 vs. 28 years old.

Read this:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/04/24/AR2009042402122.html

PaigeMcC · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_think-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b8e4fcad-0bbf-4861-9f44-c413118d1cd6Post:3155db93-51be-4815-945b-8542eccb4b59">Re: Do you think...</a>:
[QUOTE]On the flip side, my cousin is 19 years old. She's still obsessed with the Jonas Brothers and is in a relationship with a guy she's never met (friend of a friend) and posts long video montages with her all kissy-face on his FB wall lipsynching love songs. *gag* Age does not maturity make.
Posted by catemeg[/QUOTE]

<div>I just threw up in my mouth, a little.</div>

loves2shop4shoes · June 2010

I guess that's true, cate. While I think an e-ring is not far off, I doubt I'd get married before summer after 2L anyway... in which case I'd be 24. That does help a little.

Also, that Jonas Brother's thing is pretty sad for a 19 year old. Haha.

catemeg · June 2010

Shoes, you need not worry. Case in point, you're going to law school. You're not giving up law school just so that you can marry your BF right this minute. You guys are making decisions on timing and planning based on your mutual goals and responsibilities, taking each of your needs into consideration.

To me, maturity is being able to make mutual decisions for your future together, not just instant gratification. With the military, it's a whole other can of worms that these girls don't even think about. Mutley laid it out for some girl the other day about how marrying someone in the military means a lot more than just having handsome men in uniforms in your wedding pictures.

ekathleen684 · June 2010

Hey Cate- Thanks for letting me know about Military Brides. I think my brain just exploded. One older girl (25 yo) was telling the girls about how she divorced her husband after getting married at 18. Another girls response? I'm sorry for what you went through but I'm just going to have to learn the hard way I guess.

...huh uh WHAT!?

loves2shop4shoes · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_think-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b8e4fcad-0bbf-4861-9f44-c413118d1cd6Post:c4b796f9-39db-48fa-bab1-39543d46c757">Re: Do you think...</a>:
[QUOTE]Shoes, you need not worry. Case in point, you're going to law school. You're not giving up law school just so that you can marry your BF right this minute. You guys are making decisions on timing and planning based on your mutual goals and responsibilities, taking each of your needs into consideration. To me, maturity is being able to make mutual decisions for your future together, not just instant gratification. With the military, it's a whole other can of worms that these girls don't even think about. Mutley laid it out for some girl the other day about how marrying someone in the military means a lot more than just having handsome men in uniforms in your wedding pictures.
Posted by catemeg[/QUOTE]

Squee! **Runs over to Military Brides AGAIN to go read the fools rant!**

PaigeMcC · June 2010

Sometimes the military board makes me stabby. I try to avoid it.

Those KIDS need someone with their head screwed on right to give them some honest advice, but they won't take it and I'm not going to beat my head against a wall to try and give it to them. It's just a shame about some of them...you know they're not all going to last...you know it's going to be hard...and you know someone is just going to end up in a clusterfuck of hurt. Can't go there.

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