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A question

Danidawn20Danidawn20
1000 Comments
in Military Brides
I don't usually post on this board, but I am a military bride. 
Fi just left for something (he can't tell me what), and we do have a wedding coming up (this June). Fi was told he would be back in time for the wedding, but then he was informed that we may have to get married by proxy just in case he's not back in time. We already have deposits on everything, so pushing the wedding back would end up having us lose a lot a money. 
Have any of you ladies been in a situation like this before?
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Re: A question

  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I have not. I ALMOST didn't have a groom for this weekend but we got lucky and he gets to stay until after the wedding.
    I do KNOW people that have fun this though. You need to make sure the state you are in allows this, as not all states do.
    GL!
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  • Danidawn20Danidawn20
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Okay thank you. 
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  • SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Do you not have military clauses in your contracts?  That would have been my advice, just change your date and lose no money.  I guess ditto FTL's advice.. Especially about making sure that you can even do that in your state.  I googled and the only US states that allow this are: California, Colorado, Montana, and Texas.  It's completely illegal in all other states except the 4 previously mentioned, as well as Arkansas, & Missouri.  Are you in any of those states? Because if you're not.. it seems to me that you'll be losing a lot of money anyway.  Fingers crossed you got a military clause!! HTH
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  • AmandaSC1988AmandaSC1988 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry, that is worrisome!  If you are worried about losing your deposits, I would talk to your vendors right now and tell them the issue. All of my vendors were more than willing to work with me in the event military reasons would prevent him from showing up for the wedding. You probably won't be able to get a military clause put in the contract,  but depending on your vendors they may work with you. What is the worse they can say? No...


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  • Danidawn20Danidawn20
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'll ask about the military clause.  Orginally Fi wasn't suppose to leave (he was suppose to be home for this year- which is why we decided to get married at the time we did) and we did talk to the vendors about the possiblity of hime leaving, but I'll have to check into it more. 
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  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I don't have any advice but I love the flowers in your sig!
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    hahaha HIke.. you crack me up.. Especially because I was thinking the same thing :o)
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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm with you ladies on the flowers.... so pretty!

    It's not too late to go back to vendors - they won't realize that he's leaving now since you still have 8 months or so.  Just say, "Oh, hey, I totally forgot to ask about putting a clause in the contract.  You know, in case his military commitment makes it impossible for him to attend the wedding on the date scheduled.  I'm still new to this military thing, and the girls who are married to other guys in his unit suggested it.  Just a clause that says you'd be willing to transfer the deposit to a mutually agreeable date that you have available or refund the deposit if he's unable to attend due to his service to our country." 

    (This isn't legal advice, by the way, just friendly tips).  

    I'd throw in the "service to our country" at the end to make sure they realize this isn't a joy ride he's going on to skip the wedding.  Have them add it to the contracts now as an addendum (added clauses) and then when you know for sure, you can just reschedule for when he'll be back.

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  • SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Ditto what C said.  I was going to tell you to talk to them now about adding this clause in your contracts, and then maybe in  a few months going to them and being like "wouldn't you know.. he got deployed.." Definitely a little bit of a white lie.. but if it saves you a bunch of money.. I think it's worth it..
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  • crownsuperstarcrownsuperstar member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_question-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:6790727e-f490-4b33-8ef9-277e38170c80Post:dcfa6ffe-fe5d-4e86-8cde-4c6958d45b80">Re: A question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ditto what C said.  I was going to tell you to talk to them now about adding this clause in your contracts, and then maybe in  a few months going to them and being like "wouldn't you know.. he got deployed.." Definitely a little bit of a white lie.. but if it saves you a bunch of money.. I think it's worth it..
    Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]

    Agree with this totally!!!! My vendors were really helpful.  When we first looked the H was not in a unit that was going to be deploying however, his unit was going to be on the 18 hour call up type of thing.  We didn't know that when we booked and added the clause later (hanging head...with a little white lie).  Then H moved into a different unit so everything changed. 
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    My niece got married last Friday and thank God she had the military clause (she listened to her Aunt Kmm!)  She was supposed to get married in November followed by her DH deploying.  His deployment was cancelled but other orders came in requiring them to move the date to this month.  Her vendors were wonderful about the whole thing.
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  • Danidawn20Danidawn20
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thank you ladies about the flowers, I'm using them for my inspiration and colors. 
    I called my vendors today and set up a meeting with them  next week, so fingers crossed on being able to get the clause.  Thank you for your friendly advice, I'll let you ladies know if I got them. 
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