So I decided to have my grandma walk me down the aisle.I've been thinking/talkin about it with cousins and sisters for several months. I talk with my dad maybe once or twice a year and thats via Facebook or through my oldest sister, who he's close with(we're not close).
Well, I've always been close with my g-ma and my mom, but my mom passed away 7 years ago. So, I asked her the other day to walk me and she was so excited and said I made her day, i think partly because my aunt recently passed and my g-ma was taking it pretty rough and she's been feeling down(which has nothing to do w/why I asked). So, 2 weeks ago I sent my dad a msg. asking if he was planning to wear a tux or suit,etc to the wedding, because my FI's dad is going with a tux so I was just letting him know, so he wouldn't stand out, but its no biggie to me either way. So he sends me a message today saying "if i'm walking you down the aisle, then probably, but if not, then no, I'm not wearing one." and asked what my plans were, so I said well I was planning on having grandma walk me.
Five minutes later, my oldest sister(the only one he's close with) texts me and said he called her crying and all sad about the whole grandma thing, then about 2 minutes after that he text my other sister(who he's not close with) and tells her he's pissed. Then he sends me a msg saying maybe your g-ma should wear a tux. Should I be feeling bad? would you? I did feel bad at first, but then I stopped and thought, no he's never cared or showed interest before. I feel he only wants to do it to look like he's Mr. dad.
Now the backstory is: my parents were divorced right after I was born, so I never lived with my dad and we only saw him twice a year (xmas and 1 time between my sisters and my b-days). He has never had an interest in my life or the things I do, my mom majorly struggled raising the 3 of us(aside from my g-ma helping her) and he never paid child support or helped throughout our childhood, but he always had nice things and a nice house, etc. Now(the 2nd time he met my FI and the 1st time he met my sisters FI)he starts showing them what his 2 girlfriends who are younger than me(I'm 26, my dads in his 50's)look like and acting like he's cool, because he's a cheater(which he did to my mom).
Now, I never asked for him to help with our wedding, but saying hey here's $20, thats all I can afford now, would maybe shows he has a slight interest, but I don't think he does and he knows I'm working 60-80 hrs a week to pay for our wedding(My FI is military, so there's not much more he can do in the $ dept, so it's pretty much all on me). Well my sister recently got engaged and our dad told her FI "don't expect me to help pay for any of your wedding. It's a waste of $".
What would you do? Would you feel bad? I'm sticking with g-ma and I don't want to give him the honor to walk me even 1/2 way. I want my grandma to have that full honor, because I know she cares and she means a lot to me as i do to her.
Thanks ladies. I'm confused and not quite sure how I should feel about the situation