Demanding Invitations

NickDanielleB · April 2010

Does anyone else have friends or past co-workers tellin you "I better get an invite?!" Its ridiculous for anyone to think that they are automatically invited just because they shared 5 minutes of your life with you. We're having 225 at our wedding and the majority is family. We had to keep it low because we don't have the biggest budget. But I think its pretty rude for someone to automatically assume they are being invited.

kkropp · April 2010

Ha!! Yes!! I repeatedly get messages on fb from a girl I worked with for 4 months, but rarely worked together!! Every message is about how she better get an invitation!!! So annoying!!

jaimed99 · April 2010

I actually had a friend say that the other night...I politely evaded her with, "I can't have half of Pittsburgh at our wedding, but if we can work it out then sure!"

I have tons of friends around here, and I wish I could include them all...but it's just not feasible...

MeaghanandMichael · April 2010

Right after we got engaged we had alumni weekend at our college. Pretty much every one came up to us and asked for an invite and I got overwhelmed. I mean, I know alcohol was involved in their rudeness, but it sent me into panic mode that we would have to invite 38947938 people. I took a deep breath and realize there is just no way I want a wedding of that size. We ended up with 125 at our wedding. It is funny now to think they even bothered me.

baystateapple · April 2010

At our New Years' Eve party, two of my sister's close friends whom I've known for a few years asked me point blank (and sober) if they got invites. I kind of stuttered because I didn't know what to say. They didn't make the final cut. I wish that I could attribute their rudeness to alcohol, but I'm assuming it's just because they are much younger than I am, and they just didn't know better. A lot of people have no idea how expensive weddings are until they actually plan one on their own.

bbyckes · April 2010

Perhaps they are saying it jokingly. I've had people say, "Oh, I better get an invitation", but I don't take them seriously. There's something about weddings that make people want to be apart of them regardless of how close the relationship. I wouldn't sweat it and if your co-worker later asks, just explain onlly family and close personal friends are invited.

brianneharrison · April 2010

I work as a magazine editor, and one of my contributing writers (who, I might add, I've only seen face-to-face once for a couple of minutes) asked to be invited to my bridal shower. After she spent 20 minutes on the phone with me talking about how all married men cheat.

Oh, and people my fiance worked with several years ago (who all live several states away) told him they were expecting invites when he dropped in to say hi to some of them during a trip home to see his family right after we got engaged.

People just don't know when to stop...

megk8oz · April 2010

For my wedding, my BSC friend point blank asked me after she got her invite if I was inviting her parents and siblings (I barely wanted to invited her).

Her reasoning? "Well, your parents were on my B List!".

... then again, I can write a book about every insane wedding-related thing she said and did between her wedding and mine.

NickDanielleB · April 2010

Those are all funny. The best part is she txt me a few minutes later like "YOURE HAVING IT ON A FRIDAY?!?!" Well sorry but I'm kinda planning my wedding for me. People are hilarious sometimes.

SarahPLiz · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_demanding-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:0f390dd1-174b-4b6a-b61e-13af80f448b5Post:0c3fa26c-5d93-4327-8270-f6acfb904869">Re: Demanding Invitations</a>:
[QUOTE]I had a "friend" tell me, long before I got engaged, that when FI and I finally got married she had "better be a bridesmaid!" Uh, no. Thankfully I haven't seen her in a year and a half. But jeez. (Also, who WANTS to spend money on someone else's wedding? I figure my BMs are humoring me because they love me and I'm not making them spend much, or anything, even.)
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

I am blessed that my friends were the exact opposite. WHen I told them I was engaged, they all started texting each other ," She's not gonna ask us to be BMs is she? "

I did have a friend that told me she was coming "even if I have to hitch a ride with your dad". Um... No. Just because we were BFFs in K-8 grades and are now FB friends doesn't mean you are getting on my small guest list. But I havent emailed her back yet because I'm chicken.

luckyme502 · April 2010

You have to invite everyone who asks, it's the rulz!!!

Lenore2010 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_demanding-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0f390dd1-174b-4b6a-b61e-13af80f448b5Post:16f813ff-5326-4e7e-aab8-618105e8de60">Re: Demanding Invitations</a>:
[QUOTE]We're having a DW, and oh.my.god.everyone and his dog wants to come to Mexico! Everyone! We're up to 80 now. Confimed is 50, like, booked and everything. Doesn't help that FI wanders around asking people at random.
Posted by deepcovejackie[/QUOTE]

<div>You should have chosen a more expensive destination! </div><div>Vegas is spendy these days! :)</div><div>
</div><div>Seriously, the invite demanding helped drive us to a destination wedding. As much as paying for it, we simply had no desire to plan a wedding for 200 people. Within two weeks of our engagement, it occurred to us that everyone we had ever known was expecting an invite. Call us cowards, but they all got one: to Las Vegas! Yes, we could have stayed here and "fought" for our small wedding, but we would have made a lot of people upset in the bargain.</div><div>
</div><div>We correctly thought that only family and a very few friends would take us up on Las Vegas-and of those that did we accommodated their needs 100%. It was not a perfect solution, but it worked for us and our guests had a great time. I feel for those of you who do not for various reasons have the destination option.</div><div>
</div><div>I think it is funny that some people act like you should be sending out letters of apology if you have a DW, and a lot of them are the same people who invite themselves to your wedding. A friend of mine had neighbors just show up at hers! No invite at all! Wow.</div>

mizri · April 2010

I'm getting that a lot too. I had a girl leave a message on my FB saying she wanted to come, where ever and when ever the wedding is. I'm sitting here like, I worked with you and only talked to you the last 2 months we worked togther. Not so much on paying for your entrance into a Faire for my wedding.... Trying to keep it kinda small.

tdso008 · April 2010

225 is "mostly family"? I feel for you - I'm at 160 and it's "mostly family". Take a deep breath and relax... use the family thing to your advantage. You can truly laugh and say you're keeping it as small as possible...

I had my niece inviting high school friends on FB... so I'm not putting any more public posts there, learned that lesson fast!

Enjoy!

eav2c · April 2010

As soon as someone asks where their invite is, is just as soon as I would take them off the guestlist.

Amy_Justin · April 2010

A girl I worked with and didn't associate with outside of work said "You better be inviting me." I said some lie about not having finalized the guest list yet.

A few weeks ago my friend sent me a Facebook message saying "I'm not invited to your wedding

" I didn't respond. I saw him this week and explained about the guest list and the venue capacity blah blah blah.

I really do wish I could invite all of my friends, but I just cant. It makes it harder when they guilt me about it.

ETA: Also, as soon as I told a different friend of my engagement, he asked if he was invited. "Congrats. Am I invited to the wedding?" In my head I was thinking HELL NO, I only see you once every 6 months or so, definitely not close enough to warrant one of my 8 friend invitations.

amwilli5 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_demanding-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0f390dd1-174b-4b6a-b61e-13af80f448b5Post:44d9a2ab-ed47-4b27-abcb-7ac953348041">Re: Demanding Invitations</a>:
[QUOTE] A lot of people have no idea how expensive weddings are until they actually plan one on their own.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Ditto This. I've gotten asked by people I've known for 5 minutes asking where their invite is. I think they finally got the hint from me saying several times very small wedding close family and friends only. That didn't work for a couple but they also don't know where the wedding is and no one is getting through the door that wasn't invited. One that didn't get one came up t me later in planning her own wedding, and actually said she was sorry she expected and invite and she didn't think that everyones food had to be paid for, Seriously?
</div>

Jen7989 · April 2010

I get that ALOT! my FI's family is huge. we're at 220 right now and thats just family (not kids) and very few close friends (like 10) if we could invite everyone we wanted to we would be around 400 i'm sure. I agree that people have no idea how much weddings cost until they plan them.

NickDanielleB · April 2010

Yeah 225 - 165 is just family (aunts, uncles, cousins). It was fun trying to tell my mom and FMIL that we cannot and I mean CANNOT invite 2nd and 3rd cousins and their childhood friends. I don't think I could afford to rent out US Airways center to hold that many people. lol.

SuMmErKuTiE · April 2010

Yes! We were out at a bar with friends a few weeks ago and I bumped into an old friend I hadn't seen in a few years, but they knew we were engaged because of Facebook and he asked, "How come I haven't gotten an invitation?" I laughed at first because I thought he was kidding.. he wasn't....

Don't even get me started on the people at my parent's church. We visited there for an event a few months back and people were coming up to us and congratulating us and saying they couldn't wait for our wedding! So then my parents think we should invite them, so then I brought up, "Wait didn't their son just get married.. were you invited? They said no so I said, "Heck no.. why would we invite them when they didn't invite you to their child's wedding".

tracrey · April 2010

I had someone I work with, but haven't seen or talk to in four years hear that I was engaged and called to say, congrats and tell me she would love it if her husband and son could come. Seriously? My finance's has a very tight knit group of friends and then there are all the extended friends. I told my fiance that we can't invite everyone, it's not possiable. The "friends" that only come out when certain other people will be there or we see once or twice a year will be on invite list B or C. He doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings and of course these people are asking if they are invited. If you have to wonder if you're invited really think about who you are to that person. So annoying. I overheard a random "friend" who we last saw in Dec if him and his wife were invited to the wedding and his wife replied.." I assume so" I was shocked considering they didn't invite us to their wedding and the wife also told someone my fiance annoyed her. If that couple has the nerve to say anything to me or to my fiance infront of me I am going to tell them this is our wedding not just some party. Everyone else I just tell them we're working on the guest list and we are keeping it small.

Calumet · April 2010

Too funny, I think EVERYONE has experienced this.

I had a girl at my college job, whose company I enjoyed because we had a lot of fun, ask if she was going to be a bridesmaid. I was like, "Um... I haven't decided on all on that yet..." What?? I mean, I was going to invite her to the wedding, but we had never hung out, outside of work! Why would she think she was among the handful of my closest friends and family??

tigerlily25 · April 2010

Oh my god, some of these are just too funny. I used to waitress at this one bar and this one customer (a 60 year old guy), who was very sweet, but just an aquaintance, constantly asked me about the date, etc. and he told me that he was going to show up at my wedding, even if he had to crash it! Luckily, I no longer work there, and we live 2000 miles away now.

Demanding Invitations

Re: Demanding Invitations

2011 Reading Challenge

Choose Another Board

Search Boards