My best friend from college recently moved in with her Army boyfriend, also a close friend from college. Not long after she moved, she got pregnant. Soon after, her boyfriend got his deployment orders, so they got married so she could be on his insurance and be taken care of while he's gone. Completely understandable and I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing.
However, the only people who know that they're married and pregnant is myself, her family, and themselves. The pregnancy will be difficult to keep secret for long, but they don't plan on telling people they're married. They're going to tell people their wedding is next March. Lying to his family, almost all of their friends, and both extended families so they can have the white dress, fanfare, gifts, parties, etc. Their words, not mine. She's admitted she's an AW, and she's not going to let something like already being married keep her from having a "real wedding".
If they just wanted to do a vow renewal a year later, that's one thing. I don't understand the need for it, but if they're honest, it's whatever. But they're lying to people. To a lot of people. And they both expect me to be actively involved in planning this sham. I've already been asked to be MOH, to help plan showers and parties, and to be her planner. I told them I don't feel comfortable helping them lie, and that if they feel mature enough to have a child and get married, they should be mature enough to be honest and deal with the consequences of their decisions. They blew me off, and still expect me to help plan this thing and be involved. I know they can't force me, and honestly, I don't want to go knowing it's a lie, although I might if they were honest about it being a vow renewal.
My question is, what do I do, and am I being an awful friend?