Invitations at work

futuremrsdavies · March 2012

Ok ladies, I need advice. So i started working at a law firm last year part time. I work in a building with 2 ladies (a secretary and an assistant of my boss) and in the other part of the building there are 2 other attorneys, and like 15 or so various secretaries.

At this point, they all know about my wedding plans, but I wasn't planning on inviting any of them, except my boss. I'm not sure he will even come but it seemed like I had to. Now I'm concerned that perhaps this isn't appropriate. Like perhaps I should ahve invited my boss and the two other full time attorneys...though one is hosting his son's wedding and the other I rarely speak to. I like eveyone and all it just seems like a burden to them. Like I don't want them to feel compelled. Also, if I do that, shouldn't I then invite the ladies I work closely with? and if I do that, isn't it rude to not invite everyone...AAAHHHHH

em01092 · March 2012

IMO, inviting people in the workplace gets tricky. It honestly depends on what is the norm for your workplace and the environment. Sometimes inviting everyone in your department/floor/etc just is not feasible, and then it's ok to only invite people you actually are close with/hang out with outside of the office.

Now, regardless of work place dynamic, I think it you don't invite any of them, you can get by with just saying, "We weren't able to ask everyone we wanted." or "It's close friends and family only." But that's harder to say when you're inviting your boss...

So, I guess without knowing the dynamics of your firm, I just say don't invite anyone.

meganb1977 · March 2012

I also work at a law firm (although it's a bigger one) and people know my plans but I said we were keeping it small. Although I did invite my direct bosses I let both of them know that they were the only people I'm inviting so they knew not to mention it to anyone. Even if someone did find out I invited my direct bosses I thought that people would be understanding of "Oh, she thought it would be polite to ask her boss." I think you'd be fine to just invite your boss, but if you're worried about it just ask him not to mention it to anyone else at the office.

chickenbut143 · March 2012

I did invite some people from work, but only those I hang out with outside of work (friends) and my boss. A good rule of thumb w/ inviting everyone...have you been invited to their parties (i.e. children's bday, housewarming, holiday)? I didn't take your poll b/c that wasn't an option.

karenmruff · March 2012

Like everyone else said, work place is tricky. I just invited the two people who work in my particular room and who I am also closest to outside of work. I felt like it was either just 2 or all 16. It helped that there was a clear dividing line to make the decision.

FWIW, everyone knows about my wedding and asks how planning is going. They understand that inviting everyone (plus significant others) just wasn't feasible.

futuremrsdavies · March 2012

Thanks ladies...Yeah no one has invited me to anything outside of work as they are all older women and it would be to like, grandchildren's birthdays haha. I think I'll stick to my boss/owner of the firm and leave it at that because I think like you all mentioned, that is more understandable. Thank you!!!

rlavach · March 2012

According to the etiquette godesses, you only invite coworkers that you associate with outside of work (i.e. they're actually friends & not just coworkers). Inviting some and not others can get weird. I didn't invite anyone from my job, not even my bosses, and we have a small office of 35. Everyone asks about the wedding, but it's understood that weddings are for friends & family.

blgrout · March 2012

Workplace invites can be tricky...but I think it fully depends on the dynamics of your workplace. My FI and I work for the same company, but in different locations. My parents actually own the company, so obviously they are coming to the wedding. We did invite the other managers from the company (4 other people) because I consider them all to be close to me (most have worked for the company for at last 5 years, most 10 or more) and a couple other co-workers that we consider friends and have seen outside of work on more than one occasion. But we didn't invite everyone.
*Caveat: we are an automotive repair company, so I work with all guys and I haven't had any of them get mad/upset over not being invited if they weren't. If I worked with women I have no idea what I would do.

leffing · March 2012

"According to the etiquette godesses, you only invite coworkers that you associate with outside of work (i.e. they're actually friends & not just coworkers). Inviting some and not others can get weird. I didn't invite anyone from my job, not even my bosses, and we have a small office of 35. Everyone asks about the wedding, but it's understood that weddings are for friends & family. "
I agree with this 100%!

We decided not to invite anyone from work to keep it fair. Everyone asks about how the wedding planning is going, but it's not weird at all because I don't see any of these people outside of work.

kmac821 · March 2012

@FutureMsDavies or @ChickenButt can you post the HTML copy for your RSVP counters? I know someone posted them the other day but I forget which thread it was in! Thanks!

futuremrsdavies · March 2012

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RSVP Date March 31

MCCRARYSCOTT · March 2012

I agree to only invite those you are the closest to at work. There are about 15 different people in my department and i am not close to all of them. Out of the 15, i only invited 4 that i work the closes with and have hung out with outside of work. (Not even my boss!) I feel like everyone in the entire office knows that im getting married, but surely i cant invite everyone! I also told the 4 that i invited that they were the only one's i was planning to invite.

chickenbut143 · March 2012

I just got back on (dang meeting) but saw that futuremrsdavis did it. I got it from someone awhile back and think it's so cute!

rardito · March 2012

I only invited the people in my unit and two other coworkers, but we all hang out outside of work occasionally.

cgielow · March 2012

I invited 3 people from work, all of whom I have hung out w/ at some point outside of work - i.e. at some point I've been to all of their homes, and they to mine. I actually had one coworker flat out ask me the other day who was invited from the office, which I just responded that my mom is paying for the wedding, so the guest list is somewhat limited. I think it depends on your workplace dynamics as well.

Invitations at work

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