Who do I invite to the rehearsal dinner?

NuggetBrain · April 2010

The reason I ask this question, is because I'm going to have my younger half sister (same dad, different mom) do a reading for the ceremony. However, my parents' divorce was extremely nasty, and my mom still hates my dad, so I'm not sure how she'd react to spending a few hours (including at the dinner table) with "his" daughter. I asked her and she did the "five-minute-long-pause-followed-by-not-remotely-believeable-it's-fine". Do I need to have her there to do the rehearsal or can I get away with just having the BP and parents there?

I know it really sounds mean, but I don't want to put my sister in a situation either that she'd be uncomfortable with. She's 21, so old enough to catch undercurrents of situations.

Nebb · April 2010

Where is your rehearsal going to be held? Can she just be sat at the opposite side of the room from where your mother is?

vallyhoo · April 2010

Is your mom okay with your half sister doing the reading at your ceremony? If so I would think she would understand she needs to be at the rehearsal and RD.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · April 2010

I have to invite both my parents to the RD. AWK-WARD.

Anyway, I'd invite her. How many other people will be there? If it's like 15-20 or more, I think it's fine. Just separate them.

MissIntentional · April 2010

i think you should invite her. if she comes i'm sure everyone will be ok.

fi's mom wants to have our rehearsal dinner and not invite her ex husband (fi's father). FAMILY IS GREAT.

danieliza1127 · April 2010

I think you should invite her. Your mom is wrong for taking out her negative feelings toward your dad on your sister. Your sister has nothing to do with it, she didn't ask to be born into this situation. I know it's easier said than done, but I'm sure your Mom can deal for the night. Just don't sit them next to each other.

Kristin789 · April 2010

This is one of the easiest questions this board has had.

Your half-sister will be at the rehearsal, because when the ceremony rehearsal gets to the point where her reading will be presented, she will stand up, walk to the lecturn, and rehearse reading her part.

And all the people who have "parts" in the rehearsal are invited to the Rehearsal Dinner - so of course she gets invited to the Rehearsal Dinner, with her spouse or SO if she has one.

If she RSVPs to your FI's mother that she will not be attending the RD, then you don't have to think about her being at the dinner. But it's likely since she RSVPed YES to your request that she do the ceremony reading, that she will RSVP YES to the RD invitation also.

I do agree with your mother, that it's odd that you are so very close with your half-sister that you have asked her to do a reading at the ceremony. Usually the positions of MOH, BM, reader are given to the very closest of friends of the bride, girls who have been with the bride for years, through thick and thin, and who are now the closest confidants of the bride, who have encouraged her and supported her throughout her courtship and engagement to FI. Your half-sister is just now 21, so she hasn't been your closest adult friend for years and years, so this is an odd choice.

Who do I invite to the rehearsal dinner?

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