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Two questions, both WR 1 etiquette related

hetshuphetshup member
2500 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hi all, hopefully no one is too snowed in. Since y'all are super smart, I need to pick your brains for a few minutes.

1) How insistent should I be in terms of having the venue write everything into the contract? So far the venue says that we get 20 cocktail tables, 20 60" rounds, 8 rectangle tables and 200 chairs, but the contract stipulates that we get 17 60" rounds and 170 chairs and the rest is subject to availability. What would you do? We need to get the deposit in by Thursday BTW.

2) FI parents are throwing us an engagement party, which is very kind of them. They would like to invite people that are not on the wedding guest list. I feel that only people that are invited to the wedding should be invited to the engagement party, but FMIL is saying b\c the party is OOT from where the wedding is located. And 90% of the guests are going to OOT from the wedding too. Is there some unknown OOT rule that I am missing?
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Re: Two questions, both WR 1 etiquette related

  • Catwoman708Catwoman708 member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited February 2010

    1.  Hell yes!  Either insist they to guarantee you the number of tables and chairs you will be getting, or cut your guest list to the number they CAN guarantee in writing.  That is what you are paying for.  If they can't guarantee it, what happes if you have 200 guests and not enough tables and chairs because you signed a contract that stated "subject to availability". 

    2.  Technically, I think an e-party might be kind of a "gray area".  but I agree with you.  To prevent any later misunderstandings or awkwardness, those that will not be invited to the wedding should not be invited to pre-wedding celebrations. 

    But because someone else is hosting and paying for this party, they can invite whom they want, without any obligation on your part to invite them.  I think I would make this clear now, or else later, they may try to insist on inviting them to the wedding also. 

    I'd actually suggest a compromise.  Let them throw the party and invite whom you want, but just don't call it an engagement party.  Just announce your engagement at some point in the party.

    Added:  Just writing something into a contract, or even having it in writing does not guarantee it will happen.  It only gives you legal recourse when it doesn't happen.

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