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HALP!!

Rosie109Rosie109
2500 Comments Combo Breaker
in Snarky Brides
So my parents are throwing FI and I an engagement party, but they are on vacation in Europe (lucky ducks) so I am in charge of sending out the invitations. Our parents came up with the idea of doing a potluck dinner type situation, and sending the guests recipe cards to put the recipes on for FI and I to use as we start our lives together. Dorky I know, but I am not sure if the enclosure I have made will explain this politely. So without further adieu: 
"The phrase "the more the merrier" isn't always applicable but it certainly is when it comes to food! We invite you to bring a dish of your choice to the engagement party to share with the combining families. Enclosed is a recipe card to put the dish's recipe on for Brandon and Morgan to use as they start their life together."
Does that seem ok?
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Re: HALP!!

  • quotequeenquotequeen member
    2500 Comments
    Unless it's a close-knit group that does this sort of thing regularly, "hosting" a pot-luck party really isn't ok.  "Inviting" people to provide the food for your party really rubs me the wrong way.
    Married 10/2/10
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    10000 Comments
    edited July 2010
    I don't have a problem with pot-luck parties at all (most of the parties around here held by our friends and family are that way), but you might want to think about your guests. I can see how requiring people to bring a dish would offend or irritate them, especially for an engagement party.

    For a 4th of uly party we went to, the invite said the host would provide the beer and meats, and asked for guests to bring a side dish or dessert. That's the norm here. But if you're inviting people who aren't used to that, prepare for backlash or lots of guests who don't want to come.

    But if you don't think your guests will mind, then I think your note is fine.
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  • Rosie109Rosie109
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    Maybe I should be more specific and say "we invite you to bring a side-dish of your choice..." as we are providing the main dishes. Both sides of the family do potluck dinners a lot so it's not terribly rude. Thanks for everyone's input! 
    image
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    10000 Comments
    Yeah as long as it doesn't sound like you're requiring them to bring a dish, and you're providing the main dish, I don't see a problem with it. My family and friends are the same way, you'll rarely go to a party where people don't bring something (even if it's not requested).
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  • missy68missy68
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    As far as the recipe card/shower/party part goes, I've done those long distance for all of my cousins and my SIL, after a friend did it for my first marriage. And yeah, the recipe card went out with a poem. It turned out pretty well.
    image
    Do not mess in the affairs of dinosaurs because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
    I love you Missy. Even though you are not smart enough to take online quizzes to find out really important information. ~cew
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  • 526SadieSadie526SadieSadie
    1000 Comments
    That would rub me the wrong way, too.  IMO, your parents are hosting the party, they shold provide the food.  If it were a random family gathering, just to get together, that's when I think it's perfectly fine to ask people to bring things.  This party is specifically for you and your FI, so you should treat your guests.  But that's just me.
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  • GreenPepperBurgerGreenPepperBurger
    2500 Comments
    As far as the wording goes for your invitation, I think that's fine. (You might want to clarify that it's a side-dish you're requesting).
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  • goheels05goheels05
    2500 Comments
    Hmmm I don't know.  I am cool with potluck parties in general and wouldn't dream of not at least offering to bring something to a dinner party anyway.  Maybe if you downplay the "formality" of the event (not that it's formal, but get the point across that this is a get-together/celebrate your engagement, with the emphasis on get-together), it will be more acceptable to anyone who might otherwise be put off by it. 

    I don't mind being asked to bring something at as long as that expectation/request is made known before I accept the invitation, which you would be doing.

    I was invited to an alumni event at my college and after I accepted was told that I was to bring something.  Um, I'm driving 2 hours to this shindig, and you guys already have $80K because of me, not to mention future planned giving, so you can eff off thank you very much.  Grr.
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