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Talk me off the ledge please...

luvdelilahluvdelilah member
First Comment
in Pennsylvania-Philadelphia
FMIL just informed me that FFIL has to invite 25 additional people to the wedding (which is now about 45 days away).  Why do we have to invite these 25 guests?  His original list didn't include husbands/wives/significant others.  Also, other relatives heard about the wedding and have now organized a van to carpool over, even though they weren't invited in the first place, thus we have to invite them.

Please someone, tell me how to (politely) deal with this situation before I start to cry?  There is no room in the budget or at the venue for these guests...
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Re: Talk me off the ledge please...

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    jennyinyellowjennyinyellow
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    edited December 2011

    Even though his orginal list didn't include spouses, they really should have been invited. If there really is no room in your venue/budget, just be honest about it and tell them.

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    arosem23arosem23
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    edited December 2011
    I would say if he needs to invite those additional 25 guests then he needs to pay for them because you do not have it in your budget. Plain and simple - if you would have had more notice you could have planned and budgeted out for them but on this short notice it's just not going to happen.
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    miguelhilary2010miguelhilary2010
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    edited December 2011
    Wow, I'm sorry to hear that.  I think the forgotten significant others (of those already on the guest list) was a mistake and they should be added if possible.  The people who basically invited themselves need to be notified that unfortunately the guest list is final, and you are at your max capacity, so you apologize but they can not come.  Make FIL's deliver that message.
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    miguelhilary2010miguelhilary2010
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    edited December 2011
    And PS - please dont cry!
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    Jesster153Jesster153 member
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    edited December 2011
    agree with everyone

    the spouses should have been on the list but that was their mistake, not yours. Ask if he's willing to pay for them since you don't have the budget

    and agree that the people that invited themselves need to be nicely told that they can't come due to venue size, etc.

    Good Luck!
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_talk-off-ledge-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:105Discussion:4e74e269-7e8a-4085-9b52-86508c7c7634Post:07d26fce-5e4b-4ac2-8da2-d82a40434f03">Re: Talk me off the ledge please...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow, I'm sorry to hear that.  I think the forgotten significant others (of those already on the guest list) was a mistake and they should be added if possible.  The people who basically invited themselves need to be notified that unfortunately the guest list is final, and you are at your max capacity, so you apologize but they can not come.  Make FIL's deliver that message.
    Posted by miguelhilary2010[/QUOTE]

    <div>This!  Too bad if they rented a van they aren't invited, they're bad not yours.  </div>
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    luvdelilahluvdelilah member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Arg.  So talked to FMIL last night and it turns out they didn't invite themselves.  FFIL gave us a list a about 10 people to invite (without including spouses) and then told his family that EVERYONE was invited.  FFIL still maintains he didn't do anything wrong and now (for health reasons) probably won't attend the wedding anyways.  It may seem sad to some, but after all the trouble he's caused, I don't care.

    Thanks to everyone for talking me down :) Today will be a better day!
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