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Looking for some answers..

Nati05Nati05 member
First Comment First Anniversary
in Catholic Weddings
Hello ladies! I've come to your board seeking answers as I've heard you are a group of knowledgeable and helpful ladies, so I help you can help me out. :) By the way, I searched for this topic on the board before posting so if it's an overdone repeat, I apologize.

FI is Catholic and I am Christian. Neither of us are very religious and I'd say FI is even less. I live in South America now and don't belong to a particular denomination or church here. Well actually I haven't been baptized in a specific church either, long story short is my family left a church we belonged to when it was time for me to be baptized and we haven't gone back to that one or any other since. However I have always considered myself to be of Christian faith and in fact there is a nice English speaking non-denominational church here that I've visited several times that I enjoy!

Anyway the point is our venue has a chapel and although it is now forbidden to marry outside of a public church, there are several local priests that do marry at venue chapels. But what I'm really worried about is am I allowed to be married in a Catholic church/ by a Catholic priest if I am not Catholic? I've always understood that non-Catholics cannot be married in Catholic churches or by their priests unless they convert and are baptized and have their first communion. Recently I heard different. A nun told me that's not true, and that she personally knows of various ceremonies in Catholic churches with one non-Catholic person. (bride or groom) hmmm.. now I'm really confused!

Next week I'm meeting with a priest that regularly marries at our venue to see what our options are and get definite answers. I'm just wondering if this is something that varies from churches and priests.. like marrying outside a public church or how many extras are allowed during the ceremony. I've thought about mixed ceremonies too but I've asked around and this seems to not be possible here so up until now it looks like that's not an option. I'd really appreciate any insight, really just to get some info before meeting with the priest. TIA!
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Re: Looking for some answers..

  • catarntinacatarntina member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You can get married in the Catholic church if your fiance, the Catholic party, is granted a dispensation from the bishop.

    In the States, it's pretty common.  I don't know how common it is in South America to be granted a dispensation, but in the States it's almost granted automatically.

    As long as one party is Catholic, and can prove they are Catholic with baptismal records, then there typically isn't any problem getting married in the Catholic church.
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  • Nati05Nati05 member
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    edited December 2011
    That's great news! I'll find out about the dispensation and what he has to do to get one granted. Just knowing that this is something the Catholic church does allow, puts me at great ease! Thanks for your help! :)
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The dispensation is something the priest takes care of. Please make sure the priest is in good standing with his diocese. If so, you will be all set just following his instructions.

    You definitely can get married to a Catholic in the church. Please tell the priest your faith, and about how you haven't been baptized.
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  • unplainjaneunplainjane member
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    edited December 2011
    i'm not sure if i understand. you said your venue has a chapel... and it happens to be catholic? well anyways yes catholics are allowed to marry non-catholics in a catholic church if your priests approves and gains permission from the archdiocese to do so. but having a catholic ceremony means that you agree to raise your children as catholic and that you will be taking marriage classes as a pre-requisite. if both of you are not really practicing is that something that you want for your future family?
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  • Nati05Nati05 member
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    edited December 2011

    Thanks agape, I will do just that! :)

    Unplainjane, I'm not sure if it is definitely a Catholic chapel.. at first I had assumed it was as most churches here are Catholic. But this weekend that I went, the owner of the venue told me about a Christian wedding that was held at the chapel and how all the images were requested to be taken down. Sooo I don't really know what the story is there. Either way, after discussions with FI, we have decided to go with a Catholic ceremoy with a priest and we have contacted several that do go to that specific chapel. I guess if in the end having a Catholic ceremony doesn't work out, we would go with a Christian ceremony or civil as last resort.. though that's not what we're going for. The whole thing stresses me out really, there are so many rules and regulations to follow. Personally I wish getting married in a church or with different faiths were a lot easier. :-\

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  • Jay&MarissaJay&Marissa
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    edited December 2011
    Two different issues:

    A. You can definitely get married in the Church if one of you is Catholic. No questions about that.

    B. Marrying in the Catholic Church is more than just a way to get married, as previous posters have said. You are agreeing to raise your children as Catholics, among other things. Definitely do some research on it.
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  • Kate61487Kate61487 member
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    edited December 2011
    Yes, you can get married without converting.  Neither my father nor grandfather are Catholic, but both my mom and grandma had catholic ceremonies.  I don't believe you can have a full mass.

    But like PPs have said it's more than just a way to get married.  In order to be granted the dispensation your FI basically has to promise that he will continue to practice his faith, that you will raise your children Catholic, etc.  It sounds like he's not really a practicing Catholic, so you should think about this before you pursue it.  What is it about the Catholic ceremony you want, if he's not practicing? 

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  • Nati05Nati05 member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_looking-answers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:5d57280c-e651-4b1d-9668-b2dc593058a8Post:2844d13c-4ab5-4a3d-afae-c31d855fb28a">Re: Looking for some answers..</a>:
    [QUOTE] What is it about the Catholic ceremony you want, if he's not practicing? 
    Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]

    Well the truth is, it's not really me. FI is <em>strongly</em> against having a non Catholic ceremony, even though he's not practicing. And well because of that, I have been willing to compromise and see what we can work out. Getting married by a Catholic priest isn't something I just thought up I'd do.. it's something I'm investigating to see if we can do because of FI's wishes. Thank you all for your help and info! :)
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