Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Vows... too much baggage???

So a brief background on me & FI. We were off & on for the first 3 years of dating. He was always the one to leave me (no cheating or anything terrible was involved...just young and couldnt figure out what he wanted). The last time we split up he ended up meeting somebody else and getting married because he was going into the navy & she wanted to go with him. They weren't right for eachother and he was still in love with me....they ended up getting married but divorced soon after. It broke my heart that he got married, even knowing BEFORE the wedding that he was still in love with me. Anyways...we've now been together 4 years and living together majority of that time. We couldn't be any happier.

There is a video game called "Braid" that has a storyline in it that FI has always liked because of our past. I'm just not sure if this will potray to other what WE see in it. We take from it: how important forgivness & learning from mistakes is. How forgiving is an important part to every successful relationship.

We're scared it might more point to our past "baggage" and be more depressing. Or make FI look like a bad guy or something (though everybody at the wedding knows our story and love FI). Anyways.... serious opinions are welcome, even if you think it would be absolutley TERRIBLE for a wedding lol

Tim is off on a search to rescue the princess. She has been snatched by a horrible and evil monster.

This happened because Tim made a mistake.

Not just one. He made many mistakes during the time they spent together, all those years ago. Memories of their relationship have become muddled, replaced with wholesale, but one remains clear: the Princess turning sharply away, her braid lashing at him with contempt.

He knows she tried to be forgiving, but who can just shrug away a guilty lie, a stab in the back? Such a mistake will change a relationship irreversibly, even if we have learned from the mistake and would never repeat it. The Princess's eyes grew narrower. She became more distant.

Our world, with its rules of causality, has trained us to be miserly with forgiveness. By forgiving too readily, we can be badly hurt. But if we've learned from a mistake and become better for it, shouldn't we be rewarded for the learning, rather than punished for the mistake?

What if our world worked differently? Suppose we could tell her: "I didn't mean what I just said," and she would say: "It's okay, I understand," and she would not turn away, and life would really proceed as though we had never said that thing? We could remove the damage but still be wiser for the experience.

Tim and the Princess lounge in the castle garden, laughing together, giving names to the colorful birds. Their mistakes are hidden from each other, tucked away between the folds of time, safe.

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Re: Vows... too much baggage???

  • edited December 2011
    To answer your direct question, I definitely feel what you have written is too negative / backward looking for your wedding.  It's fine to have a reference to the game, but rehashing the entire history is just not necessary.  Instead, focus on the greatness in your relationship now, and more importantly, write some words about what you are actually promising to him.  As written above, there are no committments being made, which is pretty much the central point of the ceremony.
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  • edited December 2011
    well we're writting our own vows which will be much more personal and commitment like...this is just something we were considering having the JP read. But the more I read it the more I agree with you that it IS too negative & we really don't need our whole story written out. I guess I just thought this would be the easy answer...I've done hours & hours of search online and I just find most of the readings I find to be so very not "us". The search continues! Thanks for your honesty
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  • RailWayWifeRailWayWife member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    I wouldn’t use this on your wedding day. This is the day is to celebrate your love for each other. Not a day to dwell on the past mistakes made in the relationship. I am sure in every relationship people made mistakes. Forget about them for your wedding day and focus on the new chapter in your life you are about to begin.

  • fluttaby32fluttaby32 member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    its the FIRST day of your NEW lives together
  • No, I don't think you should go this route. Maybe reference this in a note or card to him the day of, but I wouldn't share in your vows. Maybe keep it light.
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  • Liatris, sent you a PM
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  • I agree with fluttaby32!!!!!!!!
  • Don't do this on your wedding day...Like everyone else has said, this is finally what both of you need and wanted=to be together!!! Think positive and make the most of what you two get to do in the future.
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