How "difficult" is conversion?

CleverThought · August 2011

Hey all, firstly I apologize if this ends up lengthy, I'll try and keep it short.

So, some background information. I was raised Catholic, I wasn't in an extremely devout household. We went a lot when I was younger and I was baptized/confirmed Catholic. As I got older and my family got busier we ended up only going to mass on holidays and the random Sunday here and there. Now I go to a Catholic university and I attend mass weekly during the school year.

By BF was raised Lutheran in a pretty devout household. He went to a Lutheran school and church was a weekly thing for him, since starting college he doesn't go to church where we live now.

Another thing about BF is that he strongly dislikes Catholics and our faith. He was taught that we're a bad, selfish religion and what not. To me it's important that we go to church together and when we get married we have a church that we're a part of and don't have to scramble to find a priest or pastor. Also I want to have the steady Christian household for our future children that I didn't have.

Since he's not willing to cross over to Catholicism I decided that I will go to a few services with him at a local Lutheran church (if we find one, I guess there's different "versions" of Lutheran churches and we need to find the right one)

My question is if I decide to regularly attend Lutheran services and join the church do I have to start over again? Some people say that I will have to be rebaptized and/or reconfirmed. I guess that I assumed since I was baptized and confirmed as a Christian, although in the Catholic church, I should have a seamless transition? I feel stupid and undereducated but isn't a Christian a Christian? I know different churches have slightly different opinions and rituals, but for the most part believe in the same thing.

Thanks!

mrandmrsbrist · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_difficult-conversion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:3d4a3621-80f8-4897-8f5e-2f3f2c23b9d0Post:e2e6ea49-abb0-4ad3-83aa-bd55930a0597">How "difficult" is conversion?</a>:
[QUOTE]My question is if I decide to regularly attend Lutheran services and join the church do I have to start over again? Some people say that I will have to be rebaptized and/or reconfirmed. I guess that I assumed since I was baptized and confirmed as a Christian, although in the Catholic church, I should have a seamless transition? I feel stupid and undereducated but isn't a Christian a Christian? I know different churches have slightly different opinions and rituals, but for the most part believe in the same thing. Thanks!
Posted by CleverThought[/QUOTE]

I know very little about the Lutheran church (maybe someone else here knows more?) but from what I've gathered, your BF's attitude about the Catholic church probably came from his church, so be prepared for that.

I expect that you would have to be baptized again. Some churches are just like that. I wouldn't take it personally. However, I do encourage you to examine your beliefs and compare them with the Lutheran church's doctrine. It's important that you understand what the church you're joining believes before you take the next step of faith and commitment with them.

Also, I don't think I've ever seen you post here before. So welcome! :)

fpaemp2011 · August 2011

I'm not Lutheran, but at my Baptist church, baptism by immersion after making a profession of faith (acknowledging that you've accepted Christ as your savior, asked forgiveness for your sins, and are surrendering your life to Him) in front of the congregation is required for membership. Those seeking membership are also required to take a New Members Class and sign a copy of the Baptist Faith & Message.

MelissaC315 · August 2011

I have a similiar story. I was raised Catholic (was baptized as an infant in a Catholic Church, first communion, etc.). We attended a lot when I was little and on holidays but it started to be less and less often as my brother and I became teenagers and got heavily involved with sports and activities. So for a while it wasn't part of my life.

In college I became interested again but not in Catholicism. I took a few religion classes in college I realized my beliefs coincided with the Episcopal Church. So I attended a few in the area and found one that I really "clicked" with. I loveeee the priest and the members of the church. It felt like home. Anyway, rambling... haha. I found it to be an easy transition. Obviously this is just my experience. Some of the overall beliefs between Christian religions are similar with differences here and there. I was warmly welcomed and found it easy to get involved. I did not have to be "re-baptized" because I was baptized in a "Christian" church but I have decided to anyway. I decided to proclaim my faith as an adult. I would do some searching in your area and find a Lutheran Church that feels right for both of you.

ElisabethJoanne · August 2011

I've been many kinds of Christian, but never Lutheran, but I have studied their beliefs. You will not have to be baptized again. Lutherans have always stood against a group called the Anabaptists who insisted Roman Catholics who converted to Protestantism needed to be baptized again.

You may, however, depending on the kind of Lutheran church (the "versions" are called "denominations" or "synods"), have to take several months of classes and be either confirmed or formally received into the church. In some Lutheran synods, however, any baptized Christian who receives communion in the church 3x in one 12-month period is considered a member, so you could technically become a member in just 3 weeks.

DramaGeek · August 2011

Catholocism and Lutheranism are incredibly similar. I think the service will be very familiar to you. If you can't find one you like, try an Episcipalean or Methodist church. And no, the "conversion" shouldn't be difficult at all. Most protestant churches only require members to take a class and then sign a thing saying they're members. It's a lot easier to go from the Catholic church to a Protestant church than vice-versa.

RebeccaJac · August 2011

It depends on the church. I would just talk to your FI's minister. They would have a better understanding of what all following their beliefs entails.

I don't think you need to start over, but make sure you have a clear idea of what converting means before you make the jump.

abbeylynne06 · August 2011

I've been Lutheran all my life. I have never heard of anyone getting "rebaptized" or anything like that, so I wouldn't worry about that. At my church (actually all 3 of the churches I've gone to recently), all you would need to do do join the church is take a new members class. That's it! No profession in church or anything... the Lutherans are kind of a reserved bunch : )

diehld · August 2011

You won't have to be rebaptized... you will however take new membership classes... Those tell you about that particular church and what Denomination they belong to. In the US there are maniily two types of Lutherans. Missouri Synod and Evangecial. The Synod itself can be comparted to the Diocee in Catholsim.

From what I am reading I would say that your BF is Missouri Synod... The fact that you want to "convert" they should welcome you with open arms if they are a good church... if they don't then get out of there thats not the kind of faith community you want to be a part of no matter how good sunday service is... Personally growing up United Methodist... we had a lot of families where one person grew up RC and the other Lutheran... they compormised and became UMC... In fact I had one friend growing up where her dad was RC her mom was Jewish... then Lutheran in College... and then they brought thier kids up in the UMC and now she is Morman (American LDS)... I hope this helps! And I agree you should want to go to church together! Putting God first makes the realtionship its best!

LeahVB2011 · August 2011

Like the previous posts have said, it's pretty simple. When my BIL converted from Catholic to Christian with denomination being baptist. All he did was make a profession of faith and took part in believer's baptistim. It really just depends on the church and once you find a church that you and your BF can go to, I would suggest talking to them about the steps you will have to take to convert.

sessionswedding · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_difficult-conversion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:3d4a3621-80f8-4897-8f5e-2f3f2c23b9d0Post:e2e6ea49-abb0-4ad3-83aa-bd55930a0597">How "difficult" is conversion?</a>:
[QUOTE]Another thing about BF is that he strongly dislikes Catholics and our faith. He was taught that we're a bad, selfish religion and what not.
Posted by CleverThought[/QUOTE]
I just have to be the Debbie Downer and point out something that bothered me. If I a guy I was dating told me he has a strong dislike for my faith and thinks I'm a member of a bad, selfish religion - that's the end of that relationship.

aggiebug · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_difficult-conversion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:3d4a3621-80f8-4897-8f5e-2f3f2c23b9d0Post:cb95ad93-6a27-4b55-9958-b3e5dd06b9b9">Re: How "difficult" is conversion?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to How "difficult" is conversion? : I just have to be the Debbie Downer and point out something that bothered me. If I a guy I was dating told me he has a strong dislike for my faith and thinks I'm a member of a bad, selfish religion - that's the end of that relationship.
Posted by sessionswedding[/QUOTE]

yeah I was thinking the same thing. I think no matte rwhat you 2 do you need to sit down and have some serious discussions about your faith. He needs to understand your faith and your background to understand you. Being condecending about the way you were raised signals warning bells to me. He has obviously been given a lot of misinformation about the Catholic church and some education may be enough to turn his view point around, but I think that is step number one.

I also feel that maybe you should try something other than Lutheran. Maybe try and Episcopal or Methodist church. I feel like right now you changing part of who you are to give this relationship a go but BF is not. I think Episcopal or Methodist are fairly similar to both of your denomiations, then you can step out in your faith together. Does that make sense?

ElisabethJoanne · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_difficult-conversion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:3d4a3621-80f8-4897-8f5e-2f3f2c23b9d0Post:5d599406-a36c-4480-96cf-659bca84d535">Re: How "difficult" is conversion?</a>:
[QUOTE]Like the previous posts have said, it's pretty simple. When my BIL converted from Catholic to Christian with denomination being baptist. All he did was make a profession of faith and took part in believer's baptistim. It really just depends on the church and once you find a church that you and your BF can go to, I would suggest talking to them about the steps you will have to take to convert.
Posted by LeahVB2011[/QUOTE]

Catholics are Christians.

letyourselfgo · August 2011

Hey. I actually am LCMS Lutheran and converted and was baptized this past winter after living an interfaith Christian/Jewish life that became exclusively Jewish for the last eight years. So, if you want to know about Conversion and all of that in the LCMS denomination, then ask away.

PM me if you like.

letyourselfgo · August 2011

Also, I don't know why people have informed you that you would need to be "re-baptized". THAT is a load of hooey! The pastor of my church was baptized in a Catholic Church and when he and his family became Lutheran when he was young, no one was baptized again. Once baptized, it sticks.....at least with us Lutherans. I can't speak for other denominations.

ElisabethJoanne · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_difficult-conversion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:3d4a3621-80f8-4897-8f5e-2f3f2c23b9d0Post:fee2547d-b1e4-4a8c-bf29-e8c051e6f6fe">Re: How "difficult" is conversion?</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, I don't know why people have informed you that you would need to be "re-baptized". THAT is a load of hooey! The pastor of my church was baptized in a Catholic Church and when he and his family became Lutheran when he was young, no one was baptized again. Once baptized, it sticks.....at least with us Lutherans. I can't speak for other denominations.
Posted by letyourselfgo[/QUOTE]

Anabaptists, now called Baptists, required anyone who wasn't baptized by full immersion after the age of understanding to be anabaptized ("ana" being Greek for "again."). People have clearly confused Lutherans with their early antagonists, the Anabaptists.

MelissaC315 · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_difficult-conversion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:3d4a3621-80f8-4897-8f5e-2f3f2c23b9d0Post:97137b83-b76d-4059-a0fe-f1860c0a0621">Re: How "difficult" is conversion?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How "difficult" is conversion? : yeah I was thinking the same thing. I think no matte rwhat you 2 do you need to sit down and have some serious discussions about your faith. He needs to understand your faith and your background to understand you. Being condecending about the way you were raised signals warning bells to me. He has obviously been given a lot of misinformation about the Catholic church and some education may be enough to turn his view point around, but I think that is step number one. I also feel that maybe you should try something other than Lutheran. Maybe try and Episcopal or Methodist church. I feel like right now you changing part of who you are to give this relationship a go but BF is not. I think Episcopal or Methodist are fairly similar to both of your denomiations, then you can step out in your faith together. Does that make sense?
Posted by aggiebug[/QUOTE]

^ Love this! I think you said it perfectly.

CleverThought · August 2011

Thanks guys for the advice!

I kind of agree with everyone that his strong dislike for Catholics rubs me the wrong way. Partly I blame his foundation and being raised in a Lutheran school (hopefully no offense is taken). From what I understand, and feel free to correct me, is that the Lutheran religion was basically founded on what was "wrong" with the Catholic church. Thus, he sees primarily the flaws in the Catholic religion.

With that said, I really don't mind converting to Lutheran or otherwise. I'm not a strong devout Catholic. I go to weekly mass because I love the priest, he's a hoot and relates to people my age. However, there are things I do disagree with about the Catholic church. I would love to explore other denominations, but I feel like BF will be close-minded. I think his devout upbringing causes him to think that his was is the right way.

As of right now I've convinced him to find a local church and try it out. If it doesn't work out I plan to bounce around and find a pastor/church that fits. If we can't find that in a Lutheran setting, here's to hoping I can get him to branch out. I did get him to go to mass once, so I think I might be able to get him to explore.

So here's a question, if I do attend a Lutheran service I cannot participate in communion until I am a member, correct?

DramaGeek · August 2011

Clever, to my knowledge that is untrue. I believe Catholics are the only ones who do not allow people of other denominations to partake in communion. Every other denomination I've been around - and it's been a lot! - allows any Christian in good standing to participate, member or not.

ElisabethJoanne · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_difficult-conversion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:3d4a3621-80f8-4897-8f5e-2f3f2c23b9d0Post:f31f2366-b14e-4e43-828a-5d82a23fc333">Re: How "difficult" is conversion?</a>:
[QUOTE]Clever, to my knowledge that is untrue. I believe Catholics are the only ones who do not allow people of other denominations to partake in communion. Every other denomination I've been around - and it's been a lot! - allows any Christian in good standing to participate, member or not.
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

Anglican rules vary. In the Eastern churches, you have to be Eastern. Same with certain Lutheran Synods. Some Reformed churches require you to be Reformed to receive Communion there. So, still more churches to experience. Isn't that fun?

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