Here's the deal, just the other day one of my bridesmaids texted me to let me know that she would not be getting us a "super-duper awesome" wedding gift till late in the summer (her words, btw) and pretty much implied that she wouldn't be able to afford one for the bridal shower either. I've pretty much tried to make things as easy on the bridesmaids as possible-they paid for their dress (159.00 and they all collectively chose it), told them they could wear any silver sandals that they wanted (just not flipflops), we'll be making their jewelry (which I am paying for), optional hair/make-up, my mom is hosting the bridal shower pretty much....they just needed to come up with 6 centerpieces for tables, games, and some small prizes which my MOH has actually handled all on her own (without an issue). I also know they plan to do a bachelorette party for me, but that will also be low-key due to financial reasons.
Now, I'm not upset that she can't afford a gift as we are not expecting gifts from 3/4 of our friends who attend the wedding. Most of them are on tight budgets so we already have our expectations set-even some of my friends who I invited to the bridal shower will probably not bring a gift. Yes, I KNOW its a gift so therefore there is never a requirement to give one
However, it does irritate me when those same friends complain about the amount of alcohol we're going to be having at the wedding as some feel we won't have enough of what they like to drink specifically-we are having the recommended amount and we checked online, with the vendor, and with a beer distributor, lol.
My question is, should she have even said anything about not getting us a gift? If it was me I would not have even brought it up...just sent the gift later (which I doubt will happen anyways). When she told me this I just told her that her presence at wedding related events and her help with wedding stuff was gift enough....
Plus she even complained about taking time off of work for wedding stuff-which thus far the only wedding stuff that I would hope she would take off of work for will be bridal shower (4 hours max including set-up/clean-up), bachelorette party (one evening), rehearsal dinner, and wedding which is all spread out except for the rehearsal dinner/wedding (those are only about 6 days apart due to consideration for FMIL's schedule). Plus I know for a fact that she has turned down addtional work shifts because she preferred to go out or go to a concert-and yes, I know we are not supposed to judge how others spend their money, but don't complain about being broke then (and she does, on her facebook status-alot, lol). So did I handle the gift situation correctly and should one EVER tell someone that they are unable to bring a gift due to lack of funds?