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I need advice, bad

agape1cor813agape1cor813
100 Comments
in Christian Weddings
Ok, so I started my job as a marketing assistant for an auto dealership, where graphic design takes up a fair amount of my time. After I started, I got a call from a nonprofit organization for an editing position, which I got an offer for after an interview (and they offered me what is basically a 60% salary increase from what I earn now). 

I put in my notice at my current job, but now I'm having pangs of guilt and a lot of doubt as to whether this is the right move for me.

I'm finding that no one -- not my husband, my mom, or my best friend -- wants to help me figure out what I should do. I'm just not sure what direction to take. I feel so guilty like no matter what I'm letting people down.
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Re: I need advice, bad

  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    What are the pros and cons of each position?  Which one offers the best long term potential?  Which job would you enjoy the most (disregarding the money)?  Are the benefits different?  Why do you feel guilty about leaving?  Do you have the opportunity to take that back right now?  

    How do you feel that God is leading you?  

    Maybe if you can help me with answers to some of these questions, I will know what to say.  Sorry that your friend and family don't know how to help (or don't want to).  Frown

    I'll be praying for you.
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  • sprtychick10sprtychick10
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_need-advice-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:e9d23c70-42ea-4a35-9d40-e6643f00a607Post:c0fbfefe-92a0-48b8-bc10-627d29967453">Re: I need advice, bad</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>What are the pros and cons of each position?  Which one offers the best long term potential?  Which job would you enjoy the most (disregarding the money)?  Are the benefits different?</strong>  Why do you feel guilty about leaving?  Do you have the opportunity to take that back right now?   How do you feel that God is leading you?   Maybe if you can help me with answers to some of these questions, I will know what to say.  Sorry that your friend and family don't know how to help (or don't want to).   I'll be praying for you.
    Posted by iamjoesgurl[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I like the idea of making a list. Seeing things "in front" of me helps when I have to make tough decisions. Leaving a job where you have made friends and created relationships is never easy but if the new job is going to be better for you ( & FI) then that is something you have to keep in mind too

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  • agape1cor813agape1cor813
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    iamjoesgurl ... to answer a few of your questions ...

    I don't even know what the pros and cons of each job would be, I just know from experience I end up hating most of the jobs I have.

    I'm not too worried about long-term potential, because I figure I'm going to be working for five years or so and then I'll be a stay-at-home-mom.

    The benefits are different, but not by much as far as I can tell.

    I feel guilty about leaving because I feel like no matter what I do I'm letting a lot of people down. I'm assuming if I said I had made a mistake then I could stay.

    And I don't feel like God is leading me anywhere, or that if there is something specific He is wanting me to do, he sure isn't making it very clear to me.
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  • ElisabethJoanneElisabethJoanne member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    5 years is actually pretty long-term, all things considered.

    If you think you'll stay at the non-profit for a year or more, just stay there. If the benefits are similar, but the pay is higher, it's financially the better position. The issue is if you'll soon be looking for another job and need to list the auto dealership on your resume. It doesn't look great.

    What I mean is, if you're going to stay at the non-profit long enough that they'll have a good sense of your work when you leave, just stay there. No one will care or remember the auto dealer job. If you're going to bounce around jobs more, well, bouncing isn't good (but can be inevitable in this economy, and can be acceptable early in one's career)
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  • RebeccaJacRebeccaJac
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Honestly, if you put in your notice, it's too late for lists. Your company knows you're not committed to them and if you don't leave when you say that you are, they may expect you're looking for another position. They aren't going to make sure to secure you a job if they expect you're applying for other positions. 

    I think if God opens the door, walk through it. 
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  • kipnuskipnus member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_need-advice-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:e9d23c70-42ea-4a35-9d40-e6643f00a607Post:11ca458f-6c33-4341-af5f-1f32e0090f40">Re: I need advice, bad</a>:
    [QUOTE]And I don't feel like God is leading me anywhere, or that if there is something specific He is wanting me to do, he sure isn't making it very clear to me.
    Posted by agape1cor813[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>If this is the case, I think he's leaving things up to you. I think following God is often more about doing what you already know you should be doing (as said in the Bible), in any situation, than waiting for specific leading to a particular course of action. I'm not saying that God doesn't care who we marry or what career path we choose, but I think he'll often let us decide these things and bless us according to how we live out our choices, if that makes sense...

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  • RebeccaJacRebeccaJac
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_need-advice-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:e9d23c70-42ea-4a35-9d40-e6643f00a607Post:5d6b520f-25e1-445b-bbaa-3c8fffe0d106">Re: I need advice, bad</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I need advice, bad : If this is the case, I think he's leaving things up to you. I think following God is often more about doing what you already know you should be doing (as said in the Bible), in any situation, than waiting for specific leading to a particular course of action. I'm not saying that God doesn't care who we marry or what career path we choose, but I think he'll often let us decide these things and bless us according to how we live out our choices, if that makes sense...
    Posted by kipnus[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>I sometimes think God allows us to choose what will make us happy and blesses many different options. Too often we get the idea that God is so rigid and will only bless Plan A in our lives. </div>
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  • MelissaC315MelissaC315 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_need-advice-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:e9d23c70-42ea-4a35-9d40-e6643f00a607Post:c0fbfefe-92a0-48b8-bc10-627d29967453">Re: I need advice, bad</a>:
    [QUOTE]What are the pros and cons of each position?  Which one offers the best long term potential?  Which job would you enjoy the most (disregarding the money)?  Are the benefits different?  Why do you feel guilty about leaving?  Do you have the opportunity to take that back right now?   How do you feel that God is leading you?   Maybe if you can help me with answers to some of these questions, I will know what to say.  Sorry that your friend and family don't know how to help (or don't want to).   I'll be praying for you.
    Posted by iamjoesgurl[/QUOTE]

    This! Great advice all around... I can't really add to it haha.
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  • FaithCaitlinFaithCaitlin member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_need-advice-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:e9d23c70-42ea-4a35-9d40-e6643f00a607Post:e38d93c2-6719-49a0-b28b-e4555f6b33c2">Re: I need advice, bad</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honestly, if you put in your notice, it's too late for lists. Your company knows you're not committed to them and if you don't leave when you say that you are, they may expect you're looking for another position. They aren't going to make sure to secure you a job if they expect you're applying for other positions.  I think if God opens the door, walk through it. 
    Posted by RebeccaJac[/QUOTE]

    I agree. I'd take a leap and assume that this new position is a step in the right direction.

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  • AshNoel8AshNoel8
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_need-advice-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:e9d23c70-42ea-4a35-9d40-e6643f00a607Post:e38d93c2-6719-49a0-b28b-e4555f6b33c2">Re: I need advice, bad</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honestly, if you put in your notice, it's too late for lists. Your company knows you're not committed to them and if you don't leave when you say that you are, they may expect you're looking for another position. They aren't going to make sure to secure you a job if they expect you're applying for other positions.  I think if God opens the door, walk through it. 
    Posted by RebeccaJac[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>I agree with this. Maybe this door has been opened for you by God. If you already put in your notice, I think you should follow through with it. I will pray for peace in your decision. </div>
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  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Thank you for sharing more information.  I wouldn't worry about how this affects other people.  I have always felt (even as a manager) that people should do what is best for themselves.  I think that if everything else is basically the same, you should move forward with the new position.  The only reason I think you should stay at your current position is if you really enjoy the work a lot and don't need the extra money.  There is a lot to be said about doing a job you enjoy even if it doesn't pay as well as you'd like.  Especialy if you usually hate your work - if you've found something you like, you should stick it out.  But it doesn't sound like that's the case.  I'm still praying for you.

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  • agape1cor813agape1cor813
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I can't remember the last time I had anything to do that I really, truly enjoyed. 

    The reason I started second-guessing my choice to leave my current job is because there's a heavy graphic design aspect to that job, which is not there at all in the new position. A lot of people, H included, had been encouraging me to pursue graphic design in some form. No one takes a journalism major seriously when it comes to graphic design. I wasn't learning as fast as I wanted to, and I wasn't really working that hard (I would be sitting around with little to do for hours on end).

    I think this whole situation just feeds into my wanting to please and take care of other people, and my not knowing exactly what I want to do with my life. At this point I wonder if it even matters ...


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  • mattycammattycam member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_need-advice-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:e9d23c70-42ea-4a35-9d40-e6643f00a607Post:e38d93c2-6719-49a0-b28b-e4555f6b33c2">Re: I need advice, bad</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honestly, if you put in your notice, it's too late for lists. Your company knows you're not committed to them and if you don't leave when you say that you are, they may expect you're looking for another position. They aren't going to make sure to secure you a job if they expect you're applying for other positions.  I think if God opens the door, walk through it. 
    Posted by RebeccaJac[/QUOTE]

    True!
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