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Wedding Party

Wedding Party Drama....Already...

Need some advice! Does anyone have an objective opinion? I met my fiance through one of his sister's. We still hang out and talk all the time. SO I asked her to me my Matron of Honor. (My sister is my Maid of Honor, my daughter is one of my bridesmaids as well as a good friend of mine.) My Fiance asked his grromsmen and one of them is his brother. Now the older sister, with whom I don't hang around with (we only get together on holidays) is extremely upset because she wasn't asked. 

I never even imagined she would want to be involved! When we were first planning we were talking about going away and we went to the older sister and her husband to ask if they would come and they immediately both said 'no thanks, have fun but we won't be there.'

I'm not sure what part of that conversation was supposed to make me think she wanted to be a bridesmaid?!

I called to talk to her so there were no hard feelings. I tried to explain to her why the people I chose were chosen but all I got was 'I don;t know if I even would have done it if I was asked.' and 'I don't want to hear it or talk about it.'

Now what should I do?? I don't think I should ask her just because she's upset. Now giving her a spot somewhere would almost be compensating, and I think she'd say no now anyway. I'm not really in for asking people who I know are going to say no...kind of dumb on my part wouldn't it be?!

Re: Wedding Party Drama....Already...

  • I would leave it and move on.  Some people are just sillydumb like that and nothing can please them.  If you try to say something, she'll think it's just because she said something. 
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  • My cousin asked me to be a bridesmaid and not her 2 sisters.  There was some drama over it but my cousin stood her ground and said that her bridal party was reserved for those who were the closest to her which was not her sisters.  Eventually her sisters got over it and the wedding was beautiful.  So I say just let things calm down. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-dramaalready?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:053e75c1-ee3a-46b3-81f2-8778041798edPost:6fe5a5e1-531f-4a62-ba9e-50763d8e8bb0">Wedding Party Drama....Already...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Need some advice! Does anyone have an objective opinion? I met my fiance through one of his sister's. We still hang out and talk all the time. SO I asked her to me my Matron of Honor. (My sister is my Maid of Honor, my daughter is one of my bridesmaids as well as a good friend of mine.) My Fiance asked his grromsmen and one of them is his brother. Now the older sister, with whom I don't hang around with (we only get together on holidays) is extremely upset because she wasn't asked.  I never even imagined she would want to be involved! <strong>When we were first planning we were talking about going away and we went to the older sister and her husband to ask if they would come and they immediately both said 'no thanks, have fun but we won't be there.'</strong> I'm not sure what part of that conversation was supposed to make me think she wanted to be a bridesmaid?! I called to talk to her so there were no hard feelings. I tried to explain to her why the people I chose were chosen but all I got was 'I don;t know if I even would have done it if I was asked.' and 'I don't want to hear it or talk about it.' Now what should I do?? I don't think I should ask her just because she's upset. Now giving her a spot somewhere would almost be compensating, and I think she'd say no now anyway. I'm not really in for asking people who I know are going to say no...kind of dumb on my part wouldn't it be?!
    Posted by melanniejane[/QUOTE]
    Going away where?  Why?  I don't follow.



  • jemmini6jemmini6 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited January 2012
    You ask who you are closest with.  Period.  If you want her involved in some way, you can ask her to do a reading or something, but otherwise, she is just being immature about it.
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  • She is behaving like a brat.  Just because her brother is getting married doesn't mean she automatically gets to be a bridesmaid!  It's the brides decision.  Why would you want to be a bridesmaid if you hardly know the bride anyway???
  • In general, I think it can be a slippery slope asking one of FI's sisters and not the other. In most cases, it's better to just give all sisters the option, and those that aren't close to you will usually decline.

    In this case, it sounds like she would have appreciated just being asked. However, I completely understand why you asked the sister that IS the reason you are together, and not the other sister who you barely know. She should be mature enough to understand the difference and why you asked who you asked.

    She wanted to be asked so that she could turn the offer down. Having her cake and eating it too, so to speak. She's immature and everyone here seems to agree that she's ridiculous. Just give her time to cool down and I'm sure things will be okay.
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  • Thank you, thank you! I feel the same way as all of you!  I appreciate your objective reassurance.
  • I would just let it blow over.

    One of my friends has 3 sisters, and not a single one was in her wedding. She had only her two closest friends. 
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