So FMIL is "planning" the rehearsal dinner (and by planning I mean pretty much doing nothing...it's happening in 2 and a half weeks and she's called one place that she decided was too expensive with a $1000 minimum). FI's first idea was a very casual bistro (Chatters) and has a long table but no private room. I wanted something a bit nicer, as did FMIL, which is why she picked the expensive place (Brenner's).
She put a deposit down for Brenner's without talking to us first and then emailed me asking my opinion on the food - order off the menu or have a preset menu. The info on the room was in her email and I saw that it had a max capacity of 12. I was planning on more than 12 but of course she didn't bother to ask. The 12 only includes family and the WP - me, my mom, dad, and stepdad, FMIL, FI, best man and groomsman (FI's son and cousin), MOH, and BM (my brother and the cousin's wife), ring bearer and flower girl (cousin's children). I'm having a friend do a reading at the ceremony so of course I want her and her husband at the rehearsal dinner. Also my brother is coming from LA with his band (they're playing other cities on the way) and they are playing a set at the reception, so I'd like them there too. Lastly our officiant, who is both FI's best friend and my brother's best friend and whom FMIL cannot stand. So that's 18. Her response to this was -
Wow, I was not expecting that many. If we have to include them then we have to go somewhere cheaper. I thought you were having a DJ. I didn't know your brother's band was playing. Sorry but after giving myself a birthday present my budget is limited.
The birthday present was botox. I found another place that has a $500 minimum, has enough room for everyone, and is a nice, moderlately priced restaurant. I sent her this info asking her what she thought. Her response (bolded parts done by me) -
Thanks. I think it would be easier if it is closer and that Chatters will be fine. I will call them tomorrow. This is the place that Ron chose in the first place and it has special meaning to him and the food is good so I think it will be fine. It was his first choice. They have a huge room in the back that we can probably have if available. I don't think anyone is going to eat that much worrying about fitting into their clothes the next day. I was just thinking and hoping that this would be a more intimate evening for family and immediate wedding party before all of the chaos and stress of the wedding day.
1 - The restaurant is only closer to her.
2 - People worrying about fitting into their clothes? Really? Probably just her...she's searching for her third dress for the wedding since she's outgrown the first two.
3 - The immediate wedding party pretty much is family and mostly hers.
4- She has had no involvement in planning whatsoever so I'm not sure what chaos and stress she has in mind.
I am so frustrated and don't know how to handle this. Bite my tongue and let her do what she wants even though it excludes people I think should be there? Say something about it to her? I'm reluctant to to do this because she's pretty bitchy and I really don't want make waves. Help!
