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It's my wedding, not yours!

I am 47 and have two 20-something single daughters.  I always thought we would be celebrating a wedding for one of them, but I have been blessed with a wonder man who wants to make me his wife.

My man and I have made some decisions about our wedding, but my girls are against almost everything we planned!  Our theme is old school and it suits us just fine, but they think it's a horrible idea.   I know they are living vicariously through me.  How do I let them know to back off?

Re: It's my wedding, not yours!

  • FSForeverFSForever
    edited April 2012

    It's in the title of your post. My 19 yr old Daughter married in Jan. and it was very hard to keep some stuff straight and emotions in check but our weddings could not be more different.
    I would just let them know their time will come and that this is what you want. Maybe give them jobs or a part that they can be responsible for and explain how important it is for them to respect your ideas and how you envision your day. 
    Funny to turn the tides. A few months before her wedding I was feeling a little down because we had been engaged before my daughter and it felt like some of our thunder was taken away, of course this wasn't the case, but I asked her if I could be in charge of one item that I woud plan and pay for and it would be a surprise for them. She kept saying she didn't want a candy buffet but I knew it would be a big hit because she was so young and most of our family loves candy. I had so much fun planning it and it turned out to be a great hit at the wedding.  HTH

  • Schedule a meeting with your officiant and your two daughters and you.  And your officiant will re-focus everything, and everyBODY, on the real reason for this event...
  • edited May 2012
    As a 20-something year old...

    Why not sit them down and tell them that the wedding you're planning as is would make you the happiest, and that you hope you they can respect that even if they think it's old school, geezerly (I use this word jokingly with my mom), or whatever other word they're calling it and be happy for you without trying to get you to change things.  And also, that someday when they get married you will be sure to do the same for them.

    They should be mature enough to be able to accept that, but if not don't be afraid to whip out a mom guilt trip or two.  Believe me us daugheters are pretty powerless to them!
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