matron vs. maid?

EmmyPumpkin · May 2011

My cousin and best friend is going to be my MOH. She is unmarried but lives with the father of her two children. For purposes of the ceremony program, is she a matron or maid of honour?

Calypso1977 · May 2011

ive always understood that Maid is for someone never married. Matron is for someone married or who has been married in the past.

SteveandKris · May 2011

why don't you ask her which she'd prefer?

The Mel and Todd Show · May 2011

If she's never been married, she's a maid. If she's been married but is now divorced or widowed or some other variation of "no longer married", she's a matron. It's sort of like virginity- you can't undo it. Once a matron, always a matron.

sarah0725 · May 2011

I think I'd just call her the maid of honor and not question it or anything. I dunno, I feel like your friend would be offended if you told her she had to be a matron because has clearly been deflowered, or something. That maid/matron stuff is weird anyway. We need a Ms. of Honor.

EmmyPumpkin · May 2011

Thanks, I'm thinking I'll ask her which she'd prefer. I don't think any woman under 50 wants to be called "matron", but maybe she doesn't want to seem like a single mother.

I doubt anyone will care what is written on the program lol!

sarah0725 · May 2011

Honestly, if I saw Maid of Honor on the program, I would not question it, no matter what the married/engaged/knocked up condition of the lady in question was. At this point, I'm more likely to roll my eyes and groan at Matron of Honor, even if it is technically correct. If I thought the MOH was married but maid was used, I'd assume that she is choosing not to be defined by whether she is married or not, and I would applaud that.

The Mel and Todd Show · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_matron-vs-maid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:87f0d4fa-a966-4344-9ac3-af5c8943c821Post:48616675-000d-4f2d-9301-57addb8cfdc7">Re: matron vs. maid?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks, I'm thinking I'll ask her which she'd prefer. I don't think any woman under 50 wants to be called "matron", but maybe she doesn't want to seem like a single mother. I doubt anyone will care what is written on the program lol!
Posted by EmmyPumpkin[/QUOTE]

She is a single mother. Don't make her feel ashamed of it by asking her if she'd prefer that you hide that for her.

H was BM in a wedding last October, before we were married. They did little write ups in the programs about the bridal party, and in his they talked about him being married and being a great husband and father and therefore an inspiration to their marriage. We were both pretty offended by it. Yes, we had two children and were unmarried at the time, and lying about it in print made it very clear that they found something wrong with this. She's a maid of honor. It's fine. Leave it be.

tenofcups4me · May 2011

My married sister thought matron on honor was weird but didn't necessarily want to be maid of honor. We settled on honor attendant and used that for the best man too.

butterflygirl0 · May 2011

It's technically correct it depends on whether or not they're married, but really they should be called whatever they want to be called. It doesn't matter in the long run as long as everyone is happy.

matron vs. maid?

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