People expecting the bride and groom to feed them for a week!? Vent

megan8290 · August 2012

The wedding is in 4 days. My FI and I have been asked to do favors, here and there. FI's old boss/martial arts instructor recently went broke due to the economy but they are still really good friends and FI demands that he be at the wedding so he bought the boss his plane ticket so he could come to the wedding and paid for his hotel. For some reason, the plane ticket was a stay in LA for 7 days. Does he have any idea that he needs $ to eat too? No.

One of FI's groomsmen who's also a broke college student came up to LA with my FI yesterday. He too has no $ and didn't calculate in the $ for food. I am hosting 5 guests staying at my house, feeding them and on top of that, feeding all the other broke college students who are coming to the wedding. There's NO DISHWASHERS at my house, so I have to hand wash everything. We also didn't budget in feeding 5 more people every single day for a week.

Today, FI has to drop off his 2 broke friends at my house so they can eat, go out to LAX to pick up 3 more of his broke college friends and drop them off at a hotel, come back to my house to pick up the 2 broke friends and take them back to the hotel. No one rented a car. (But I mean, if they didn't even factor in the food part). I've paid a friend to pick up friends at the airport, paid my mom's bf to pick up someone else at the airport.

Trying to cancel my MOH's hotel reservation at Vegas (her dad passed away suddently last week) and they won't let me even though she's in no condition to call.

I really regret being so nice to people. I should've been firm and mean in the begining!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

calindi · August 2012

1) Have your FI nicely explain to the people who are freeloading that while you're happy to host them, it is your wedding week and it would be a huge help if they picked up after themselves and did basic chores like dishes to keep the house simple. Oh, and while they're welcome to use the kitchen to save money, if any of them wanted to chip in for groceries, that would be great! Hopefully that will help alleviate the situation a bit, though this is probably more of a "next time" conversation with your FI. It seems his heart is in the right place, but this was a big burden on you guys.

2) Pretend to be your MOH when you call. Cry at them hysterically, if they need any specific information (like credit card number), just start sobbing and tell them that you left it at home and you're at the funeral home and you spent so much money on the funeral and just can't cover a hotel that you won't be at. Hopefully that should be sufficient.

3) Let your FI drive here and there - it's his dumb friends, and so maybe he'll get an idea what a giant inconvenience this all is. Whatever, his problem, right?

Sorry all this is on your shoulders! Deep breaths!

brij2006 · August 2012

Sit down for 10 minutes, and make up a "meal plan." Tell everyone this is what is for dinner each night until the wedding, and keep it very simple. Also tell them you will be providing the food, but they need to help cooking and cleaning up.
Keep things simple. Cereal for breakfast, lunch is sandwiches, and dinner is spaghetti, taco's, a casserole, etc. Take $100 and go to the store and buy as much of the stuff as you can, for as little as possible. You can also tell them that they all need to pitch in $10 each for food for the rest of the week.

We've had this same issue with some our friends. We live in a VERY small area, and ordering out is expensive, time consuming, and not feasible. So we have to try and feed everyone for 3 days straight if they come to see us for a long weekend.

Good luck, and don't stress out about it. Just take control, and tell everyone the gameplan. Also recruit some of them to help.

mbatzlaff · August 2012

Almost everyone we invited is coming from out of town. I was a bit worried that some our friends and family would ask to stay with us for the wedding. FI and I made an agreement that nobody can stay with us the week (including weekend) of the wedding. We have so much to do to get everything ready that we can not possibly host people and do meals, cleaning, and such. Also I'm a bit paranoid about people shutting our cat in somewhere or forgetting to lock the door if we are not home.

I'd definitely ask them to chip in for groceries and help with dishes.

megan8290 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_people-expecting-the-bride-and-groom-to-feed-them-for-a-week-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:a30233ae-7c58-4efd-b7e2-ca2fb44526adPost:8ff8ff38-3a6f-4bd7-8037-939ee85d90db">Re: People expecting the bride and groom to feed them for a week!? Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]1) Have your FI nicely explain to the people who are freeloading that while you're happy to host them, it is your wedding week and it would be a huge help if they picked up after themselves and did basic chores like dishes to keep the house simple. Oh, and while they're welcome to use the kitchen to save money, if any of them wanted to chip in for groceries, that would be great! Hopefully that will help alleviate the situation a bit, though this is probably more of a "next time" conversation with your FI. It seems his heart is in the right place, but this was a big burden on you guys. 2) <strong>Pretend to be your MOH when you call. Cry at them hysterically, if they need any specific information (like credit card number), just start sobbing and tell them that you left it at home and you're at the funeral home and you spent so much money on the funeral </strong>and just can't cover a hotel that you won't be at. Hopefully that should be sufficient. 3) Let your FI drive here and there - it's his dumb friends, and so maybe he'll get an idea what a giant inconvenience this all is. Whatever, his problem, right? Sorry all this is on your shoulders! Deep breaths!
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>LOL Thank you! That really made me laugh. I'm not sure I can do that. But I'm going to try really hard again, hopefully they had a new shift.

Yes, I just made the guys move beds, change linens for me to prepare for the guests coming tonight. Now I'm off dropping some of these guys at their hotel 20 minutes away.

</div>

Ajoyd · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_people-expecting-the-bride-and-groom-to-feed-them-for-a-week-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:a30233ae-7c58-4efd-b7e2-ca2fb44526adPost:8ff8ff38-3a6f-4bd7-8037-939ee85d90db">Re: People expecting the bride and groom to feed them for a week!? Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]1) Have your FI nicely explain to the people who are freeloading that while you're happy to host them, it is your wedding week and it would be a huge help if they picked up after themselves and did basic chores like dishes to keep the house simple. Oh, and while they're welcome to use the kitchen to save money, if any of them wanted to chip in for groceries, that would be great! Hopefully that will help alleviate the situation a bit, though this is probably more of a "next time" conversation with your FI. It seems his heart is in the right place, but this was a big burden on you guys. 2) Pretend to be your MOH when you call. Cry at them hysterically, if they need any specific information (like credit card number), just start sobbing and tell them that you left it at home and you're at the funeral home and you spent so much money on the funeral and just can't cover a hotel that you won't be at. Hopefully that should be sufficient. 3) Let your FI drive here and there - it's his dumb friends, and so maybe he'll get an idea what a giant inconvenience this all is. Whatever, his problem, right? Sorry all this is on your shoulders! Deep breaths!
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

This. Well said.

megan8290 · August 2012

Ahhh I just called the hotel and pretended to be my MOH. They didn't bother asking, only asked for the confirmation number, cancelled the bachelorette reservation, and refunded her money!
Thanks for the advice. Ugh, I just made food for the guys. I asked them clean up but they just left it on the table for me to clean anyway.

FI have been really awesome, totally there for me when I'm stressed out even though he's equally as stressed. It really surprised me because he's pretty ill (bipolar). Just keep trying to tell myself to keep it up.

People expecting the bride and groom to feed them for a week!? Vent

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