2 middle names? Dilemma

puresugaar · October 2012

FI and I are about to apply for our marriage license and I have always thought I would keep my middle name and add my current last name as another middle name, so legally I would have 2 middle names (4 names total for my whole name). Now that I'm thinking more about it, maybe this is just creating problems for myself down the road, having to sign things with all 4 names etc. Now I'm rethinking just getting rid of my current middle name altogether, but I'm having some difficulty "letting it go." What did you do or are you doing about changing your name.

[Deleted User] · October 2012

Well, I'm doing just that. I'm moving my current last name to my middle, and getting rid of my current middle name. But, it's a generic middle name, and it doesn't have any family meaning. I know people who would hesitate to do that because it's their Grandmother's maiden name or a family name of sorts. If it's just a name, I don't see the big deal, personally, but otherwise, I could understand the hesitation.

I originally was going to hyphenate (like for YEARS I always thought this), but like you said--I thought I'd be creating problems in the future spelling out my name on the phone, in forms, etc. It wasn't worth the hassle to me, and really, I'm ready to be Mrs. FI. Going through the wedding-planning process has kind of lead me to that decision.

So, that's what I'm doing and my thoughts, but if you're having difficulty letting go of the name, you just need to decide what's right for you. I don't know what that is.

ChristineNB · October 2012

When would you ever have to sign anything with all four names? Even with my maiden name the most I ever did was use a middle initial. I think you are making this more complicated than it needs to be

vanityink · October 2012

I'm hyphenating my middle name I think, (so First, Middle-Maiden Married) but then again, my maiden name is four letters so it's not a lot to add.

[Deleted User] · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_2-middle-names-dilemna?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:40a80288-f2fa-4746-bf4b-0b8e0d782144Post:10b06311-2eff-4e51-b2d9-726d2db3b6c1">Re: 2 middle names? Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]When would you ever have to sign anything with all four names? Even with my maiden name the most I ever did was use a middle initial. I think you are making this more complicated than it needs to be
Posted by ChristineNB[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Well, but what do you use as your middle initial? Which one?</div><div>
</div><div>Honestly, this is why I came to my decision to just chuck my middle name. I didn't know the answer, and I was over "Lynn," so I went with it.

</div>

LDubHawksFan · October 2012

We just picked up our license!! I decided to just drop my last name while keeping my middle because it's my mom's maiden name and I love it. My brothers will carry on my complicated maiden last name that no one can spell or pronounce! Just do what you feel fits you. I agree w/ PP that even if you have two middle names, you won't have to sign the full 4 names often.

misshart00 · October 2012

I don't know that I have ever had to sign my full name except for on the actual marriage license. I have my middle initial on our mortgage, but only because they asked if I wanted it or if I just wanted my first and last name. So I think on most things, you can just use your first and last.

libby2483 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_2-middle-names-dilemna?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:40a80288-f2fa-4746-bf4b-0b8e0d782144Post:80c3444b-a879-4dd6-89cd-ebaa7315249f">2 middle names? Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]FI and I are about to apply for our marriage license and I have always thought I would keep my middle name and add my current last name as another middle name, so legally I would have 2 middle names (4 names total for my whole name). Now that I'm thinking more about it, maybe this is just creating problems for myself down the road, having to sign things with all 4 names etc. Now I'm rethinking just getting rid of my current middle name altogether, but I'm having some difficulty "letting it go." What did you do or are you doing about changing your name.
Posted by puresugaar[/QUOTE]

<div>I did exactly what you are thinking of doing. My former last name is now my second middle name. It honestly hasn't been a problem. My credit cards and such just have both middle initials. I haven't been in a situation where I have had to sign all four names, so if that is why you are hesitant, I wouldn't worry about it. I say go for it!</div>

leia1979 · October 2012

I kept the same name I've always had, but I don't see what your signature has to do with it. Your signature could be an illegible jumble of swirls, and it would still be valid. Or you could be like my mom, who has a perfectly legible signature consisting only of her first and last names. Heck, my dad signs first initial and last name. Make your name be what you want it to be. Don't worry about how you sign it.

coopsbaby · October 2012

I'm dropping my middle (which I HATE, even though it's got all this family meaning behind it. Don't care, hate it!) and moving my maiden to middle. I know people with two middle, and it's not a big deal though. Most of them use only one middle initial, but you're not required to use one at all usually. Do what feels right to you, the rest will work itself out.

j-harvey · October 2012

As PP have said you don't have to sign you full name much and you can use two middle initials. I see a lot of Mary W.T. Smith. Th biggest problem I could see is if you were seeing it more as two last names. In my experience in the US, people tend only to acknowledge two last names if they are hyphenated.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · October 2012

I didn't change my name, but I wanted to chime in that my husband has 2 middle names and has since birth. He doesn't find it to be a problem at all (and, in fact, we hope to give our children my last name as a second middle name). You don't always have to use all 4 names. My husband usually uses the initial of his first middle name and basically ignores the second one, but it's nice that it's there. FWIW, his name is something like John Robert Jackson Smith and he normally signs things as John R. Smith. His second middle name is his mother's maiden name (his sisters have the same second middle name, as well).

courtski2004 · October 2012

I contemplated doing the same thing since I love my middle name which is also my Great Aunt's name, but eventually decided to drop it. To me, it will always be my middle name and nobody else really cared about whether I kept it or not. The people that know what it is will always remember that I was named after her, so legally it really didn't make enough sense to keep it.

I can see it if you go by your middle name rather than your given first name, but if not I think it would just be a hassle. If nobody else would even know, I wouldn't fret over dropping it.

nattykins · October 2012

I have two middle names to begin with (I considered adding my maiden name but 3 middle names?!) and I've never had to use my full name except for my marriage license and some forms. I love my full name, but the only annoying thing about having two middle names is that my full name never fits on any IDs or anything, so it ends up being "Nattykins Middle M Lastname".

[Deleted User] · October 2012

I think you are fine with keeping both as middle names. I have friends that are Catholic and they have two middle names. I think one is a confirmation name? (I'm not Catholic, have no idea).

I'm just changing my last name to FIs. I did contemplate switching my maiden to my middle name but FIs name flows better with my middle name.

skz223 · October 2012

As an F&I manager at a car dealership I know that whatever is on your license is what you have to sign so If it says "Sara Anne Smith Jones" that's what you would have to sign on all 15 documents. Same applies to buying a house(Pretty much any document sent to the state or government).

Meegles4 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_2-middle-names-dilemna?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:40a80288-f2fa-4746-bf4b-0b8e0d782144Post:289be93f-b7af-4eb0-bbdd-454348038640">Re: 2 middle names? Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't change my name, but I wanted to chime in that my husband has 2 middle names and has since birth. He doesn't find it to be a problem at all (and, in fact, we hope to give our children my last name as a second middle name). You don't always have to use all 4 names. My husband usually uses the initial of his first middle name and basically ignores the second one, but it's nice that it's there. FWIW, his name is something like John Robert Jackson Smith and he normally signs things as John R. Smith. His second middle name is his mother's maiden name (his sisters have the same second middle name, as well).
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

This is what I did. I'm Megan Middle-Maiden Married. I rarely sign my two middle names, and I consider my original middle name as my initial. So I'm Megan M. Married, not Megan M-M Married or something like that.

For me, it was more about the fact that I didn't want to give anything up. My middle name has always been my middle name I didn't want to just suddenly drop it. And I'm the last person in my family with my maiden name, so I didn't want to drop that either. I'd like to eventually work my maiden name into my kids names so that it doesn't die with me.

But, what I didn't want to do was hyphenate my last name with maiden-married because then I felt like I would be signing that all the time, whereas you don't sign middle names often so hyphenating a middle name is a bit "easier".

Maggie0829 · October 2012

As someone who has always had 4 names (first, 2 middle and a last) you will not make things more difficult for yourself. For my entire life, whenever I had to sign anything I always signed it first, first middle and last. The second middle name was really only listed on my birth certificate and social security card. Unless you were an immediate family member no one knew I had a second middle name.

When I changed my name I kept my first middle name and dropped the second middle name and then changed my last name. I did not have any connection to my second middle name. The reason why my parents gave me my second middle name is because they knew that I was going to be their last child (and last for my mom's side of the family) so they included my mom's maiden name as my second middle name.

Heck I never go by my real first name, from the moment I was born I was called Maggie not Mary. Even today some people don't know that my real first name isn't Maggie.

Well after all that rambling, what I am trying to say is even if you give yoursefl 5 middle names you will 99% of the time sign things first name, first middle initial, and last name.

misshart00 · October 2012

In Response to Re:2 middle names? Dilemma:[QUOTE]As an Famp;I manager at a car dealership I know that whatever is on your licensenbsp;is what you have to sign so If it says "Sara Anne Smith Jones" that's what you would have to sign on all 15 documents. Same applies to buying a housePretty much any document sent to the state or government. Posted by skz223[/QUOTE]

My license has my full name on it and I didn't have to sign my middle name when closing on my home or any of my mortgage documents. But it may be a state by state thing.

Meegles4 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_2-middle-names-dilemna?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:40a80288-f2fa-4746-bf4b-0b8e0d782144Post:ade92fe5-91d0-4cf6-9ef8-be75b5b957f4">Re: 2 middle names? Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]As an F&I manager at a car dealership I know that whatever is on your license is what you have to sign so If it says "Sara Anne Smith Jones" that's what you would have to sign on all 15 documents. Same applies to buying a house(Pretty much any document sent to the state or government).
Posted by skz223[/QUOTE]

I haven't bought a car or home in quite some time, but all I can say is even if you do have to sign all 4 names on something like this, it's not a regular thing. So, you have to get a hand cramp every 5 or 10 years when you buy a new car or new house. On the day-to-day stuff (checks, credit card receipts, etc) you don't. It's not a big deal.

Maggie0829 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_2-middle-names-dilemna?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:40a80288-f2fa-4746-bf4b-0b8e0d782144Post:ade92fe5-91d0-4cf6-9ef8-be75b5b957f4">Re: 2 middle names? Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]As an F&I manager at a car dealership I know that whatever is on your license is what you have to sign so If it says "Sara Anne Smith Jones" that's what you would have to sign on all 15 documents. Same applies to buying a house(Pretty much any document sent to the state or government).
Posted by skz223[/QUOTE]

But you don't have to have all four names on your license. When I had my old license (before changing my name) only my first, first-middle and last name appeared. For whatever reason no one cared about my second middle name so it was never put on anything.

Kate61487 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_2-middle-names-dilemna?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:40a80288-f2fa-4746-bf4b-0b8e0d782144Post:ae09f4b1-c548-45ea-a741-eb65ada044c3">Re:2 middle names? Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:2 middle names? Dilemma: My license has my full name on it and I didn't have to sign my middle name when closing on my home or any of my mortgage documents. But it may be a state by state thing.
Posted by misshart00[/QUOTE]

ditto this - not sure about state by state requirements, but when I bought my car (in IN) and when we bought our home last year (in IL); heck even when I signed my will I just signed first and last like I do on everything else.

OP - if you want to keep both middle names go for it; like PPs said you hardly ever use your middle name anyway so it's not a big deal. I dropped my middle and became first maiden married - even though my middle did have meaning (great grandma's name) I wasn't particularly attached since I never used it. And frankly, it doesn't stop anyone in my family from still thinking of me as Kathryn Marie. My g-ma still thinks of (and calls) my mom First Middle, even though she's been First Maiden Married for 30 years.

I will say one definite advantage to going First Maiden Married as opposed to First Middle Married was that I think it absolutly eased the name change process. For the first year I signed emails with all three names, when filling out forms I would write all three and it helped if perhaps with that office I hadn't changed it yet they could still find me. I suppose that would be a disadvantage to keeping your given middle, b/c it would probably be the middle name you'd use more often.

StephJean83 · October 2012

I had a boss in college who added her maiden name to her middle name and on her license, mortage, car loan, it said Sarah J. Jones. Only on her marriage certificate and Soc card did it say Sarah Jane Montgomery Jones. I know my old boss gave all 3 of her kids 2 middle names at birth(all names of family members) since her (ex)H wouldn't allow her to give their kids unusal names. The only complaint they had was in kindergarten they had to spell out all 4 names when they were learning to spell but after that it wasn't an issue.

I've thought about adding my mom's maiden name to my middle name since I was in college and lost my grandparents. I know if I don't add it, my children will have it for a middle name.

Lisa50 · October 2012

I've had four names all my life. My signature is my first name, two middle initials and my last name. My son has had four names all his life. His signature is his first and last names; he doesn't include the middle initials in his signature at all.

Your signature is what you choose it to be ...

2 middle names? Dilemma

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