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Paying ourselves!

JannieBride77JannieBride77
First Comment
in Connecticut
Is anyone besides me planning to pay for the whole wedding without any help from parents? My fiance's parents are dead so obviously they cannot contribute and my mother doesn't have much money and my father and I are estranged- it is what it is. I can't stand that every wedding book and magazine assumes you have parents to help pay or they are paying for all of it, therefore I can't find much practical advice! Also, has anyone had good experiences w/ Tower Ridge Country Club in Simsbury? We may have our reception there.
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Re: Paying ourselves!

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    rswan412rswan412 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm not paying for my whole wedding myself, but contributing...however, I'm super thrifty and all about saving money, so I'm more than happy to try and give some good advice :)
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    jacki8788jacki8788 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We're paying for most of the wedding ourselves too (his parents are generously contributing some, but my parents can't really afford to) so i know how you feel! Weddings seem to be soo expensive these days, but there are ways to keep costs down. Tower Ridge looks pretty! Finding a place that has packages which include all the little stuff (food, cake, chairs, tables, linens, bar, on-site ceremony etc.) really does save money, so country clubs like that are def good to look at. You might be able to customize the menu a little too (like choose less expensive meal options or even cut out an extra course if you don't need it, like we did with the soup course). And don't be afraid to tell vendors your budget--you'd be surpised how many will actually work with you! And anything you can DIY will most likely save money also, of course--maybe you know someone who can make the cake/cupcakes, or who is design-savvy and can help with the invites etc. Good luck! :)
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    k3MySailork3MySailor
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    We are also paying for most of our wedding. My family has offered to help out where they can but the bulk of it will be paid by us. So far I have saved $ by: having a small guest list (~75), choosing a venue that is all inclusive (cocktail hour, dinner, cake, 4 hour open bar) for 63$/person, choosing to have the ceremony and reception in the same place (no limos needed), and having my photographer for only 4 hours. 
    Don't worry, a great wedding can be done without breaking the bank. Good luck!

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    chf08chf08
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    FI and I are planning to pay for everything ourselves, so I know how you feel. It's really difficult, especially in this economy. FI's family just does not have the financial means to help much, and neither do either of my parents right now. It is definitely not easy to stick within a small budget, either... there are so many little expenses that we didn't even initially think about, and it can all really add up. We've actually been struggling with the possibility of pushing our wedding out an extra 10 months, so that we can save up enough to afford a nice wedding without going into debt (as much as we both hate the idea of waiting that long).

    k3MySailor-- that is amazing that you've been able to get all of that for only $63/pp. Would you mind sharing more about your venue? You can PM me if you'd prefer... but my guest list is pretty similar in size to yours and we're on a pretty limited budget, so I'd love a little more info if you wouldn't mind.
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    Amylynn1022Amylynn1022
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My FI and I are paying for everything ourselves!! It has been quite the challenge!!
    We found the best price we could on everything and stuck to that! So it can be done and you will make it a great day!!
    Venue- Crystal Peak- Is the best all inclusive venue around the area- trust me I looked everywhere! and I mean everywhere! I have had a couple of my friends get married there over the last couple of years and the food is amazing and the venue is beautiful so I would have never guessed I could have afforded it! We are having unlimited hand passed hot appetizers 10 different kinds, a buffet with 4 different kinds of hot meal choices, two carvings items, and a potato choice, 2 kinds of vegetables, 2 salads, rolls, etc.. We are also having trays of  silver deserts passed around as well.. and 5 hours of a premium open bar all for under 70 a person including tax and gratuity... you cant beat that!! That is unheard of!!! and we had our tasting and been to weddings and the food is incredible!! not your run of the mill banquet food..
    DJ- Jason Palermo- DJ Melee- he is by far the best value you can get- he is amazing!! He is so talented and such a good bargain!! Im not sure what his prices are now but when we booked him for this Oct 1st we paid less than $600 for everything.. Ceremony and Reception and he has always gotten A++ reviews from all of his brides... so check him out.
    Cake- Instead of doing a traditional cake- considering doing cupcakes- they are much much cheaper and can be really fun!! You still get a small top cake to cut and cupcakes for the guest to have. You can do many different flavors and then the guest can pick a flavor to have that they would like as well.. It is costing me $300 vs. the $550 my cake would have cost me..
    Photographer- Doesnt have to cost you 3-5k, mine is costing me $1200 and his work is amazing!!! and this includes pictures!!! the only thing I have to pay for is an album cover after but that is due to preferences but that is because everyone likes different things.
    Invitations- DIY- I got a kit that I loved from Ac Moore and they cost me $60 total with coupons etc..
    Flowers- shop around- I would defiantly recommend going with seasonal flowers.. it will greatly cut down on your expense!

    As far as Tower Ridge goes- I went to a wedding there in April and I was not impressed at all. I got the chicken and It was disgusting- came out like rubber, and FI got the beef looked like it wasn't cooked. They seemed to have a hard time preparing the food for a large number of people. The food was poorly done. No one at our table touched their dinner. A number of us hit up a local restaurant after the wedding and that was the first time I have ever had to do that!! The cake was even gross. It crumbled apart when you touched it.

    Good Luck! Hope some of my tips help you!! :)
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    daniellelmilczakdaniellelmilczak member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We're paying for 95% of our wedding ourselves. Here's some vendors that might help your situation:
    Photog: $1900 for 9 hours w/ 2 photographers, including e-pics, rights to our photos. - www.alisonmariephotography />Cake: If you google "mary sagendorf cakes" you'll see her blogspot blog. She does the cakes out of her house, is super nice, and I got our cake (a small 3-tier cake, and a sheet cake so the total will feed 170 ppl) for $220 (including $20 delivery charge to bring it from Vernon to Agawam, MA).
    Flowers: $700 for my bouquet + 4 bridesmaids +6 bouteniers (sp?) +2 corsages -     www.ruthl.com - She also did my cousin's wedding, and the flowers were AMAZING! She's out of Suffield, CT.
    Advice: Don't spend on things you don't really care about - Our cake topper I got for $30 on etsy (have2haveit), because it's not a detail I really care about. We cut the sorbet from our meal and saved $3/person. We are only doing 3 passed h'ors d'ourves instead of 5 to save an additional $2/person. We aren't renting chair covers (yet) because that would be an extra $300 and the chairs are good enough. As my friend said, is someone going to walk into your wedding and say OHMYGOD she didn't cover the CHAIRS?! I hope not.

    We looked at Tower Ridge but weren't wowed, so we ended up at Crestview Country Club (don't need to be a member to have a wedding there) - $60 per person, includes 3 passed apps, 2 stationary apps, 3 meal choices, salad, rolls, ice cream and hot fudge (you have to provide the cake, but there's no cake cutting fee) and that includes tax and gratuity. Bar is exta and is based on consumption - can do cash or tab or a dollar limit - whatever you're comfortable with.
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    JannieBride77JannieBride77
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Great!!! :)
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    JannieBride77JannieBride77
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    where is crest view?
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    daniellelmilczakdaniellelmilczak member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Agawam, Ma (just over the CT/MA border) www.crestviewcc.org
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    crnflkgirl75crnflkgirl75
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_paying-ourselves?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:65Discussion:1ab6d31d-c530-40a6-9ccc-2f1990a909dbPost:a9faf1d5-e7cd-4b54-9921-777759f97a32">Re: Paying ourselves!</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are also paying for most of our wedding. My family has offered to help out where they can but the bulk of it will be paid by us. So far I have saved $ by: having a small guest list (~75), <strong>choosing a venue that is all inclusive (cocktail hour, dinner, cake, 4 hour open bar) for 63$/person,</strong> choosing to have the ceremony and reception in the same place (no limos needed), and having my photographer for only 4 hours.  Don't worry, a great wedding can be done without breaking the bank. Good luck!
    Posted by k3MySailor[/QUOTE]
    Where is this?!?! I need that deal!
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    kperry1485kperry1485
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree! Where is that place with the $63 all inclusive!
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