I think my Fi is bipolar

peachy2012 · June 2012

I don't know what is going on but lately every little thing pisses him off and he wants to start fussn and hollering. This is so stupid I feel like we are in high school or something & all I can do sometimes is laugh b/c I'm like you've got to be kiddn rite?

He can come pick me up I'm walking to the car and he is just staring at me, I say hi and he's like what's ur problem? What are you talking about you're staring at me...Well dang u look nice I can't look? Well why didn't u just say that! Lol

Another time I come in the house "Hey can u help me get some stuff out of the car?" Well dam u just come in demanding stuff...don't you see I'm playing the game? Five minutes latter so u wanna cuddle and watch a movie? Smh

SERIOUS BIPOLAR ALERT!

We get into this huge fight last night about something so dumb and I can see he bout to flip out, I'm still calm haven't raised my voice yet, He gets louder and louder and gets in my face. Now I'm not so calm but i tell him you need to relax and back up. He doesn't stop so at this point I'm like you know what u got it. He gets back in my face still yelling and cussing so now we both yelling at each other. The small topic that almost caused us to kill each other "communication" I told him we need to work on better ways of handling issues instead of constantly blowing up (by we i meant him). After a few minutes I just went to another room and locked the door...or so I thought I did. I'm on the phone with and friend and he's like we need to talk. I ignored him and heard him out later. Then once again he comes and says he is sorry and can we just cuddle and go to sleep. SMH OMG! I did not stay I had someone pick me up and take me home. Even though I can laugh about it its really starting to get on my nerves

footballwife77 · June 2012

dang. sorry he flipping out. this almost sounds like he's stressed out about something. Is this behavior new? I would definitely have a heart to heart with him and discuss his outbursts. But if you think it's bipolar, take him to the dr. I don't wanna sound like an a$$- but there's meds for that. I had an ex (who i wasted too many years on) and he had depression. would have outbursts except they were focused on me and bring me down then talk about committing suicide. years and years later he contacted me he finally ended up going to dr and he's better.

rowenac82 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_i-think-my-fi-is-bipolar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:c33eec3e-613a-4b07-a283-2bc1ef4d45cePost:a394a24a-3118-464d-80c9-50a15b208359">Re: I think my Fi is bipolar</a>:
[QUOTE]dang. sorry he flipping out. t<strong>his almost sounds like he's stressed out about something. </strong>Is this behavior new? I would definitely have a heart to heart with him and discuss his outbursts. But if you think it's bipolar, take him to the dr. I don't wanna sound like an a$$- but there's meds for that. I had an ex (who i wasted too many years on) and he had depression. would have outbursts except they were focused on me and bring me down then talk about committing suicide. years and years later he contacted me he finally ended up going to dr and he's better.
Posted by footballwife77[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>This was my first thought...thinking maybe it is stress that's work related somehow?</div>

TL25 · June 2012

Something is probably on his mind heavy and he's taking it out on you. Just try and find out what it is and yall can work it out together. Good Luck!

msbdumas · June 2012

Like Football said maybe he's stressing about work, his family, maybe even the wedding. You know men sometimes dont know how to express whats bothering them instead they have outburst. Just talked with him and ask him whats really bothering him.

FI and I just had our heart to heart last weekend. It took almost calling off the wedding again and 5 hours of talking but Im glad we had the talk he really expressed to me how he was feeling about somethings and now we have some understanding. It will be ok !

CaseynMike · June 2012

He really has to be stressed about something and instead of him talking to you about it he is blwoing up...Men are finicky ass creatures and hold stuff in until they can't do nothing but blow it out their butts into our faces...I am sorry he is blowing up like that and then calm in the next couple of minutes...You did the right thing by giving him his space and going elsewhere. I am like you I wouldnt have backed down at all...But maybe you could go talk to him and let him know you aren't going to argue or holler but you just need to know if there is anything he wants to tell you or if there is anything you can help him with

peachy2012 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_i-think-my-fi-is-bipolar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:c33eec3e-613a-4b07-a283-2bc1ef4d45cePost:a394a24a-3118-464d-80c9-50a15b208359">Re: I think my Fi is bipolar</a>:
[QUOTE]dang. sorry he flipping out. this almost sounds like he's stressed out about something. Is this behavior new? I would definitely have a heart to heart with him and discuss his outbursts. But if you think it's bipolar, take him to the dr. I don't wanna sound like an a$$- but there's meds for that. I had an ex (who i wasted too many years on) and he had depression. would have outbursts except they were focused on me and bring me down then talk about committing suicide. years and years later he contacted me he finally ended up going to dr and he's better.
Posted by footballwife77[/QUOTE]

<div>O wow that awful, my X use to threaten me with suicide all the time he was always depressed about something, and when I felt like I'd had enough he would talk about no one loves him and maybe he should just die. </div><div>
</div><div>My Fi is definitely stressed from work tho which is why I just leave him alone but then he gets mad cause he misses me. We've talked about it in counseling and I try to get him to understand that I am not the issue or your enemy, but I can't keep coming around if you keep flippin out. </div>

peachy2012 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_i-think-my-fi-is-bipolar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:c33eec3e-613a-4b07-a283-2bc1ef4d45cePost:4762ceeb-85bb-48f5-b616-1fc665c7c731">Re: I think my Fi is bipolar</a>:
[QUOTE]He really has to be stressed about something and instead of him talking to you about it he is blwoing up...Men are finicky ass creatures and hold stuff in until they can't do nothing but blow it out their butts into our faces...I am sorry he is blowing up like that and then calm in the next couple of minutes...You did the right thing by giving him his space and going elsewhere. I am like you I wouldn't have backed down at all...But maybe you could go talk to him and let him know you aren't going to argue or holler but you just need to know if there is anything he wants to tell you or if there is anything you can help him with
Posted by CaseynMike[/QUOTE]

<div>Lol @ blow it out their butts...</div><div>my friend asked me the same thing about another issue so I asked him "is there something else you want to talk about. Ok Ok let me just say this lol I know he is stressed from work buuuuut I think the bigger issue is that we don't have sex <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-yell.gif" border="0" alt="Yell" title="Yell" />. We have in the past but I never really wanted to 100% I committed to being celibate b4 I met him and kind of messed that up throughout the relationship by giving in, but i always felt bad later. When was the last time hmmm like a year ago...</div>

CaseynMike · June 2012

Um ok I see now!! Ok look why is he stressing now about sex if he's already gone a year without it WHAT IS 100 more days?? I don't know all the ramifications of being celibate except the obvious no intercourse but could you do a dance for him? Not to be tooooo graphic but could you help him achieve an orgasm WITHOUT your cookie? Ya'll I am sorry but my FI just straight up fought me on being celibate and it caused sooo much stuff until there are times I just go to sleep..

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_i-think-my-fi-is-bipolar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:c33eec3e-613a-4b07-a283-2bc1ef4d45cePost:9887cdce-3500-4d23-84d2-2831358d2180">Re: I think my Fi is bipolar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I think my Fi is bipolar : Lol @ blow it out their butts... my friend asked me the same thing about another issue so I asked him "is there something else you want to talk about. Ok Ok let me just say this lol I know he is stressed from work buuuuut I think the bigger issue is that we don't have sex . We have in the past but I never really wanted to 100% I committed to being celibate b4 I met him and kind of messed that up throughout the relationship by giving in, but i always felt bad later. When was the last time hmmm like a year ago...
Posted by peachy2012[/QUOTE]

footballwife77 · June 2012

See, sex is a stress reliever, so now not only can he not do that but he probly got a serious case of blue balls LMAO!

You need to hit the gym together or something? i'm not sure but where ejagers at???? She just got married and was celibate for i think a little over 3 years. I give you props though. Good for you and good luck!

[Deleted User] · June 2012

peach, all jokes aside, whatever his stress is, his method of processing and reaction is inappropriate. I hope (sincerely) that you don't hold yourself responsible for how he chooses to behave. I'd be really concerned about the possibility of escalation if and when he doesn't get his way - not just with this - with anything. Marriage is waaaaay harder than I want what want when I want it. What happens if and when that's not possible? I'm sorry for the lecture, my immediate reaction at this was about your physical but more importantly emotional safety.

dammit ya'll gone make me miss my bus again!

{{tacklehug}}

peachy2012 · June 2012

LMAO at footballwife I knoooow we been together for 3 years and he always says I can count the number of times & its not cause i'm keeping track its b/c it a easy number! lol. with only 3 months to go like dude come on hang in there lol.

@ sultryzulu I feel u we have some really heated fights but I had to tell him last night like look that right there can never happen again. It took nobody but God 4 me not to hit him and Im sure he felt the same. We need to stop missing church we were so much better when we prayed together and praised together

MrsSmith2Be02 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_i-think-my-fi-is-bipolar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:c33eec3e-613a-4b07-a283-2bc1ef4d45cePost:e0281514-ea69-4b82-bf01-2b4168d88db6">I think my Fi is bipolar</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know what is going on but lately every little thing pisses him off and he wants to start fussn and hollering. This is so stupid I feel like we are in high school or something & all I can do sometimes is laugh b/c I'm like you've got to be kiddn rite? He can come pick me up I'm walking to the car and he is just staring at me, I say hi and he's like what's ur problem? What are you talking about you're staring at me...Well dang u look nice I can't look? Well why didn't u just say that! Lol Another time I come in the house "Hey can u help me get some stuff out of the car?" Well dam u just come in demanding stuff...don't you see I'm playing the game? Five minutes latter so u wanna cuddle and watch a movie? Smh SERIOUS BIPOLAR ALERT! We get into this huge fight last night about something so dumb and I can see he bout to flip out, I'm still calm haven't raised my voice yet, He gets louder and louder and gets in my face. Now I'm not so calm but i tell him you need to relax and back up. He doesn't stop so at this point I'm like you know what u got it. He gets back in my face still yelling and cussing so now we both yelling at each other. The small topic that almost caused us to kill each other "communication" I told him we need to work on better ways of handling issues instead of constantly blowing up (by we i meant him). After a few minutes I just went to another room and locked the door...or so I thought I did. I'm on the phone with and friend and he's like we need to talk. I ignored him and heard him out later. Then once again he comes and says he is sorry and can we just cuddle and go to sleep. SMH OMG! I did not stay I had someone pick me up and take me home. Even though I can laugh about it its really starting to get on my nerves
Posted by peachy2012[/QUOTE]

LOL! I'm sorry to laugh but this sounds like my FI. Is yours from Atlanta??? I'm starting to believe its an ATL thing. But ignore him....I just let FI get it out and then he's done and remember he cant be mad with someone who isn't mad at him. I know its frustrating because I swear I think FI is straight crazy and can receive a check sometimes, but this is nothing new and with him being like this I have still said Yes, I will.. KWIM? It'll get better....call his name out to God and pray that he will calm down.

*I had to edit after I read the rest of the post*
So the incident w/ last night....no he needs to get a grip on that. Sounds like stress. FI and I went through the same stuff and it even attributed back to his childhood and feelings he has towards his dad that he was taking out on everyone else.

peachy2012 · June 2012

It is quite ok to laugh I have to laugh 2. It might be a ATL thing b/c my fam is getting married soon too and her Fi acts the same. He's from up north but he has been here for years. I remember when I saw him throwing eastside up in the club years ago b/c thats were his friend lived so I look at him & stay what part of the eastside are you repping b/c u not from here and u sho don't live on the eastside LOL. He has adapted lol.

MissusD1116 · June 2012

In Response to
[QUOTE]peach, all jokes aside, whatever his stress is, his method of processing and reaction is inappropriate. I hope (sincerely) that you don't hold yourself responsible for how he chooses to behave. I'd be really concerned about the possibility of escalation if and when he doesn't get his way - not just with this - with anything. Marriage is waaaaay harder than I want what want when I want it. What happens if and when that's not possible? I'm sorry for the lecture, my immediate reaction at this was about your physical but more importantly emotional safety. dammit ya'll gone make me miss my bus again! {{tacklehug}}
Posted by sultryzulu[/QUOTE]

All This!
I'm sorry mama, but for him to express himself physically and emotionally as you described, it kinda sends a red flag to me. Of course, you know him better than we do. Have you thought about counseling? I understand this is not the norm for many black men to go to counseling, but it really can help you all find out what your "love styles" , whic his how the other prefers to be and express love.

There may be some underlying issues with him that may not have anything to do with you......but it needs to come out in a controlled environment.

20pearls16 · June 2012

Maybe he is on his man period. All men have a period just like women do. My Fi's period comes on a week before mine. He gets all moody and standoffish for 3 days. I have learned his cycle. You need to learn his.

On a serious note I agree with Sultry and Sam he has to check his temper before it escalates to somehting physical. You said you were arguing over something minor, what will happen if you are arguing over something major?! I'm speaking from experience. Been there, done that, I got the t-shirt and the hat! When someone shows you their true self the first time, believe them!

Good luck with that and stay in prayer.

I think my Fi is bipolar

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