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Invite the kids of our friends or not?...

Steph & Tim 92411Steph & Tim 92411 member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

  We are getting married next fall and are working on our guest list. We are having my young niece and nephew stand up, and planned on inviting our young cousins.

Is it rude not to invite the children of our friends?
Is it rude not to invite the children of our wedding party?

   I have recently been to a wedding were the B/G invited the children of friends, they RSVP'ed for thier children; then on big day they left the children at home.
I don't want to pay for food that won't even get served.

Please Help!

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Re: Invite the kids of our friends or not?...

  • JessAndTravJessAndTrav member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Please see the FAQ post. It's the VERY FIRST post in all of E.
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  • brookelynpaisleybrookelynpaisley member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Um, adults could RSVP too and not come. You know that right? And their food costs more.

    Read the FAQ post for the rest of your annoyingly common question.
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    Infertile, living childfree, advocating like a BOSS
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  • fancynewbeccafancynewbecca
    100 Comments
    Okay don't hate me but...

    I disagree. I want kids at my wedding, and will have child family members there who I see pretty much every day. But I'm not willing to invite the children of my cousins or whoever who I've only ever seen once or twice in their life. If people are offended then they can make their opinion known by either showing up or not. When you have kids you know that every once in a while you're gonna need a sitter. Who knows, maybe they'd like to have a kid-free evening anyway :o)

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  • Steph & Tim 92411Steph & Tim 92411 member
    First Comment
    To clearify;
    I want to know if it is rude if we don't invite the son of the BM.
    Is is rude to have family members that are children then not invite the children of our freinds?
    I not having a kid free wedding, just want to know if one kid means all kids?

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  • michaelandjulie2michaelandjulie2 member
    100 Comments
    How old is the BM's son? Is this the only one you want to exclude? 
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  • cukimerrydollcukimerrydoll member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-kids-of-friends-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:78b1d8e8-357c-48e4-99af-4345d85bccfaPost:bd3513c4-8478-4fd6-90cd-62489e105170">Re: Invite the kids of our friends or not?...</a>:
    [QUOTE]. IMO, I think that it is ok to only invite children of family members if you keep it consistent and really only invite children of family members, since the children are family too. Although, I will be honest and say that I dont know what other posters would say about that specifically, and that I did not personally do this.
    Posted by michaelandjulie2[/QUOTE]
    That's what we're doing.  Relatives (aka cousins) and one GM's brand new baby - who doesn't count b/c she won't be eating.
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  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I think you run the risk of hurting feelings if you invite some children but not all.  Your wedding party and/or friends will probably think "why are these kids here but mine weren't invited?" 

    As far as them not showing up, you run that risk with EVERY guest, not just kids.
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  • sarabellamsarabellam member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Yes, you may run the risk of upsetting parents, but if you confine it to only family, that may make it more palatable.
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  • dazed2confuseddazed2confused
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-kids-of-friends-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:78b1d8e8-357c-48e4-99af-4345d85bccfaPost:67e5780f-878b-4768-aa26-1e3f98a7c741">Re: Invite the kids of our friends or not?...</a>:
    [QUOTE]How old is the BM's son? Is this the only one you want to exclude? 
    Posted by michaelandjulie2[/QUOTE]

    <div>If she is in our wedding party, i think you need to invite her son.  ESPECIALLY if she is an OOT.  Her whole weekend is going to be dedicated to your wedding, and she'll have to find someone to watch the child all weekend.  </div><div>
    </div><div>We weren't going to invite kids but FI's boss has a kid so we are changing out tune. </div>
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  • PharmacyBridePharmacyBride
    500 Comments
    IMO children of family are different than children of friends.  I think it is absolutely ok to not invite friends' kids.

    Weddings are the union of two families - so I think it is great to include them.  I think you should only invite your friend's kids if you want them there.

    Consider the type of wedding you are having, the venue, and the budget.
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  • Britty2010Britty2010
    10 Comments
    We are inviting children of family members only. Friends kids are NOT invited... For our family the invites will say "and family", for friends they will only be addressed to the couple.
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