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MOH Probs.....:(

chelle9987chelle9987 member
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in Moms and Maids

I am currently having problems with my MOH, she lives out of state and after I got engaged i went out to visit her, i asked her to be my MOH and she was so excited talking about how we would get online and she would help me make choices on dresses ect, and how she was gonna use all her flier miles so she could come out for parties and be more involved. I was so excited to have her as my MOH, since i returned after my vacation she has spoke maybe 10 words to me it even took her a week to return a text i sent her of a dress i liked while shopping for my dress and all she said was "pretty". Her excuse is that shes been busy with work and school which i would accept as a reasonable excuse excpet for the fact that her work is a hour away from her house and she used to call me everyday to and from work. I dont know what to do at this point should i assume she doesnt want to be in the wedding i have tried asking her whats going on but she wont return my calls or texts. WHAT DO I DO??? also if im being a crazy bridezilla please let me know i just belive its a little crazy that we talked every day until i went to visit and now i cant get her to even ansewr a text

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Re: MOH Probs.....:(

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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    First, stop the wedding talk with her for now...maybe you overloaded her.  Second, this may be more of a friend issue then a MOH issue...maybe you should see if everything in her life is going ok or if she has any issues or problems that she is dealing with right now.  Maybe ask her if there is anything you can do to help, if there is an issue.  Be a friend to her right now, not a bride.  The next time you talk with her do not utter the word wedding...just find out about her life and what may be going on in it.

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    tseguintseguin member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-probs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:514412e1-19ac-47ec-b2b0-6f147bc63dc0Post:db34d697-b04e-4b58-8959-7d04c42a910a">Re: MOH Probs.....:(</a>:
    [QUOTE]First, stop the wedding talk with her for now...maybe you overloaded her.  Second, this may be more of a friend issue then a MOH issue...maybe you should see if everything in her life is going ok or if she has any issues or problems that she is dealing with right now.  Maybe ask her if there is anything you can do to help, if there is an issue.  Be a friend to her right now, not a bride.  The next time you talk with her do not utter the word wedding...just find out about her life and what may be going on in it.
    Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

    Great advice. Sometimes in the moment of all the excitment we forget to ask our friends how they are doing and what is going on and it is all about our wedding.  I agree, be a friend, not a bride.
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    jemmini6jemmini6 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Let me ask you this...if you weren't getting married, and she became difficult to get a hold of, what would you think then?  Have you been talking to her about anything other than your wedding when you do talk to her?  Do you know if she has something stressful going on in her life?  I think you should be more concerned about your friendship then about what role she's playing in your wedding.

    I'm going to clue you in on a little secret that will save lots of friendships during this process....No one will ever be as excited about your wedding as you are.  It's exciting when people first find out, but they have their own stuff going on and it's really difficult to maintain excitement when it's not your wedding.


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    zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-probs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:514412e1-19ac-47ec-b2b0-6f147bc63dc0Post:387587e7-f666-4585-858b-53eb57e3b930">MOH Probs.....:(</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am currently having problems with my MOH, she lives out of state and after I got engaged i went out to visit her, i asked her to be my MOH and she was so excited talking about how we would get online and she would help me make choices on dresses ect, and how she was gonna use all her flier miles so she could come out for parties and be more involved. I was so excited to have her as my MOH, since i returned after my vacation she has spoke maybe 10 words to me it even took her a week to return a text i sent her of a dress i liked while shopping for my dress and all she said was "pretty". Her excuse is that shes been busy with work and school which i would accept as a reasonable excuse excpet for the fact that her work is a hour away from her house and she used to call me everyday to and from work. I dont know what to do at this point should i assume she doesnt want to be in the wedding i have tried asking her whats going on but she wont return my calls or texts. WHAT DO I DO??? also if im being a crazy bridezilla please let me know i just belive its a little crazy that we talked every day until i went to visit and now i cant get her to even ansewr a text
    Posted by chelle9987[/QUOTE]

    Your wedding is over a year away. Stop being a bride and start being a friend. Nobody cares about your wedding as much as you.
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    chelle9987chelle9987 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I havent talked to her at all, i cant she wont call me back or text me i have no clue whats going on in her life and the wedding isnt the only thing i talk about when i was visiting her its all SHE could talk about she was walking up to strangrs and teling them i was engaged. i have sent texts asking if everything is okay with her and no response i have called over and over again still with no response but she posts picures on facebook all the time with her at the bars 

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    graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I would once again call and leave a message saying that you'd love to catch up and that you are concerned that you have not been able to get in contact. If she doesn't respond right away, give it a little time. You have a lot of time before you need to worry about her role as MOH. Keep being a friend and see where it goes. Just because she isn't responsive right now doesn't mean that she wants to leave your WP; it probably means that she is busy or going through something.

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