June 2012 Weddings

How Have You Changed During Planning?

I've become more of a girl. I'm not frilly or foofy usually. The girliest I get beyond my makeup is my pedicures. Oh, and crying, but that's hormones.

Tonight I bought two VERY frilly but adorable dresses, I went tanning, I sat down with a glass of wine (never do that), and I'm watching Keeping up with the Kardashians.

This wedding has turned me into a girl! It's also made me realize that grudges need to be let go, and it's helped me forgive. My Dad and I (growing up was my best friend..) had a huge falling out, and we didn't talk for a year and a half. It devastated me to think he wouldn't be there to walk me down the aisle, but the wedding has brought us back closer together. 

Planning this has been fun, frustrating, nerve racking... a billion things in one.. but who'd have thought it'd be a tool in forgiveness. 

What's changed for you, if anything, during this process?
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Re: How Have You Changed During Planning?

  • I've gotten a lot calmer.  FI is so calm and never fights with his family, I'm from a loud Italian family and we argue a lot.  I've learned to walk away though because fighting isn't going to change someone.  It's been really hard actually because my mother doesn't seem to understand that I'm trying to stop fighting with her all the time and she is basically egging me on.  It also sort of makes me feel like I'm giving up on them a little, like "well you're an idiot so I'm not even going to try", but I'm just so tired of fighting!
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  • I've learned a lot about certain family members. I guess you could say it changed my outlook towards certain people and solidified my definition of what "Family" means, regardless of blood relation.

    I've also learned how to be more mindful with our spending. We weren't frivolous with our money before wedding planning or anything, but it's been nice to have a concrete goal to save towards over the last year. It's been stressful at times, but on the big day, I can't wait to look around and say "THIS. This is what we saved and worked for.". It's nice to have a goal and to see it through to completion. Money was the reason FI and I weren't married years ago, so it's going to be very special for us.
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  • I have learned a lot about FI's pressure points and what his stressors are.
    Have I changed? Not really. Just become calmer and less controlling.

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  • I'm happier, b/c I'm excited...but that happens whenever I'm excited or happy about anything. I will say though it has made me a bit frustrated with people, and taught me about their lack of etiquette more than anything. It hasn't changed me other than the fact that its something I probably talk about too much. Once it passes, I may be less chatty b/c my main topic of conversation has passed. LOL!
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  • I have actually been really impressed with FI throughout the whole planning process and I thought he would drive me crazy (which he does to a certain extent).  he's an accountant so I thought he'd be super stingy on everything, but he's actually been really good.  And in the last couple weeks, he has totally stepped up to the plate to start helping.

    As for me, I have become more impatient.  I used to have the patience of a God (and I hope it returns after this is all over), but everytime I hear "oh you've got LOTS of time", I lose it just a little bit more.  I also stopped caring what other people thought as we moved through the planning process

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  • People have become calmer? Woo hoo, no BSC bridezillas here :)

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  • I feel like I have grown up some. This isn't exactly related to planning the wedding itself but just where I am in life in general through it all. The age dif between my little sister and I is 4 years and I feel like it's more right now. She is an awesome person but she is very much 22, likes to stay up all night with friends, she's not into anything crazy but just very social, and am less and less like that. I like being with FI and planning our lives together. And for the first time I'm ok with that, not like I'm missing out on something. Does that make sense? 
  • More patient and understanding.
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  • I've pretty much stayed the same, I just watch more wedding shows on WEtv. :)
  • While planning I've attended a few funerals, had some insane family arguments, realized how some people really feel about some things, got a house, my FI and I have both been in car accidents, started a new job, and I've had 2 "undiagnosable" illnesses all while engaged.

    Throughout all of it I've definitely learned to be more patient, apreciate the smaller/simpler parts of life, developed more strength (physically and emotionally), realized some people's true colors, and cut a few family ties.  I definitely think I'm at a better place now personally than when I first got engaged.  I've grown up a lot too.
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  • eltar08eltar08 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_how-have-you-changed-during-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:61b97113-ed50-4143-92c7-ead7860f25ecPost:330aae32-5880-4d62-96bc-3a914c143809">Re: How Have You Changed During Planning?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I've learned a lot about certain family members. <strong>I guess you could say it changed my outlook towards certain people and solidified my definition of what "Family" means, regardless of blood relation.</strong> I've also learned how to be more mindful with our spending. We weren't frivolous with our money before wedding planning or anything, but it's been nice to have a concrete goal to save towards over the last year. It's been stressful at times, but on the big day, I can't wait to look around and say "THIS. This is what we saved and worked for.". It's nice to have a goal and to see it through to completion. Money was the reason FI and I weren't married years ago, so it's going to be very special for us.
    Posted by rasp.berry[/QUOTE]

    This.
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  • I've learned that I'm not as care free and "hippie" like as I thought. I've learned that while the most important thing to me is that we're married at the end of it, that I also find I care about all the dumb details. I recently discovered I'm a complete push over and have no backbone where fiance's mother is concerned. I need to work on that one. :)
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