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no more planning

URIsweetheartsURIsweethearts
100 Comments First Anniversary
in Rhode Island
OK - i am DONE with planning. and the mess aka people and their opinions that comes along with it. i am venting here because FI hates when i say i wish the wedding was over. he doesn't want me to "wish" it away. wellll maybe if he had planned everything like i had and have been dealing with both moms who are totally different and ready to claw at each other- a MOH who is awesome but wayyyy too controlling, a BM who doesn't like MOH is controlling and a BM who is MIA allll the time - maybe i wouldn't want to wish the wedding away either.
that is all. haha ugh.
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Re: no more planning

  • i2012doi2012do member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    edited June 2012
    Vent awaynot to take over your vent
    but i just said i cant wait until the day after the wedding. When we can enjoy peoples company, be married, feel like its all behind us and we can "start" life together.

    I can NOT wait to wake up the morning after the wedding
    and not listen to people complain that they dont have a date, ask what table they are at, ask to add a person to the guest list, ask to stay at my Apartment during the week of the wedding (thanks inlaws)... listen to my wacky inlaws complain BAOUT everything, or hear one more person call my wedding an "inconvience" since its in narragansett and they need a hotel!!
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  • Sarah&Eric2012Sarah&Eric2012 member
    100 Comments
    I don't think the guys get how much work goes into planning a wedding.  FI's BM just had to call him and yell at him last week because I went off on my MOH (BM's wife) over the stupidest thing because I'm so stressed out.  BM told FI that he needed to help me if he wanted us to have any friends when it was over (joking, of course). 

    I'm glad there are places like TK with other ladies who understand.  I think I'd have gone crazy months ago if there weren't.
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  • URIsweetheartsURIsweethearts
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    very true. FI does not realize at alllll how much time and effort this takes. in all ways, time, money, effort, emotionally -all of it. i can't wait for the planning to be over and to have a life again after work and on the weekends. i have also been trying to look for a new job in between all of this - sometimes i am just so stressed and he doesn't get it. thank god for the knot and my mom and MOH.
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  • i2012doi2012do member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    thank god for the knot is right
    i think my bms are sick of hearing me talk about my wedding- i have been for 2 years
    and i feel like the unmarried ones dont really understand.

    My fiance says he wants to help, but he literally helps for two seconds then gets distracted.
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  • EyejewelEyejewel member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Yup FI says he's helping then pretty soon he's got the game on or watching stuff on his phone. He still makes a point to have all his free time but i have to give up every ounce of  mine on wedding stuff that people always want there answer. sigh. I like planning but i just want the stress to stop and to nothave a crazy job with insane hours. The knot has helped with making me not feel alone in this!
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  • dberrettdberrett
    100 Comments
    Men totally don't get it. For me it was really stressful and annoying b/c my FI was living in CT still during the majority of the planning so he couldn't help with ANYTHING. Then he'd sometimes get snippy if I didn't ask him his opinion on something. I guess the good news is he cared, but I thought at the time: "Then why don't YOU plan the damn wedding?!". Sigh...
    Then when he did move in with me 2 months before the wedding, he'd try to help, God bless him. But his version of helping was having the TV on in the background. And he's not one of those people who's good at multi-tasking, so the TV would distract him and he'd take either twice as long as he should have to do something or he'd screw it up and I'd have to fix it anyway! It was really, really stressful.
    All I can say as a past bride is that no matter how stressful it seems now, and how much you want to choke someone (FI, MIL, etc.) you will be so relaxed on your day. The day of, you will wake up totally refreshed, and realize that you can't do anything to change anything now, so what's done is done, and let's just party! Cherish your day - it really does fly by! And, months later (I'm 7 months past) you may even find yourself wanting to get married again - I kid you not! ;-) And remember, wine or a good martini are your best friend!!
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  • Sarah&Eric2012Sarah&Eric2012 member
    100 Comments
    I actually went so far as to type of a list of all the "to-dos" I could think of for the wedding last night.  I printed it out and posted it on the cabinet we keep the dishes in.  Now every time he goes to get something to eat (because he snacks constantly) he'll see everything that needs to be done for the wedding.  Here's hoping this will motivate him to help me.  ::fingers crossed::
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  • HeatherR45HeatherR45 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    I HEAR YOU!!! I keep saying the same thing! I'm very excited for my wedding, but I'm also excited for everything to be done and we can relax instead of talking about the wedding constantly. I feel bad, but I'm more excited for the honeymoon where it is just us and we can do what WE want instead of listening to what other people think we should do.
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  • bride4me83bride4me83 member
    10 Comments
    Im nearing the end (or Im suppose to say the beginning lol) it's been so stressful planning thank goodness for the knot is double right! I lovw the boards as far as: 
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    I actually went so far as to type of a list of all the "to-dos" I could think of for the wedding last night.  I printed it out and posted it on the cabinet we keep the dishes in.  Now every time he goes to get something to eat (because he snacks constantly) he'll see everything that needs to be done for the wedding.  Here's hoping this will motivate him to help me.  ::fingers crossed::


    THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA! I HOPE YOU DONT MIND IF I TRY THIS LOL. NUPTIALS ARE IN SIGHT CAN'T WAIT TILL THE HONEYMOON!!! MAYBE WE WILL FORGET ALL THE CRAZINESS UP UNTIL THEN :)
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  • LOMLBOATLOMLBOAT
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_rhode-island_no-more-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:122Discussion:99de7718-b968-48c2-8eed-bed3cc6021c1Post:157ef496-ca22-4706-ac3a-a1e5777ad2c1">Re: no more planning</a>:
    [QUOTE]Men totally don't get it. For me it was really stressful and annoying b/c my FI was living in CT still during the majority of the planning so he couldn't help with ANYTHING. Then he'd sometimes get snippy if I didn't ask him his opinion on something. I guess the good news is he cared, but I thought at the time: "Then why don't YOU plan the damn wedding?!". Sigh... Then when he did move in with me 2 months before the wedding, he'd try to help, God bless him. But his version of helping was having the TV on in the background. And he's not one of those people who's good at multi-tasking, so the TV would distract him and he'd take either twice as long as he should have to do something or he'd screw it up and I'd have to fix it anyway! It was really, really stressful. All I can say as a past bride is that no matter how stressful it seems now, and how much you want to choke someone (FI, MIL, etc.) you will be so relaxed on your day. The day of, you will wake up totally refreshed, and realize that you can't do anything to change anything now, so what's done is done, and let's just party! Cherish your day - it really does fly by! And, months later (I'm 7 months past) you may even find yourself wanting to get married again - I kid you not! ;-) And remember, wine or a good martini are your best friend!!
    Posted by dberrett[/QUOTE]


    HAHA - dberrett - you are so right!!  It's hard for the guy because he thinks all the small details aren't important, but they don't understand all the small details make the wedding.  My husband thought I was being crazy spending so much time on the menu cards and the ceremony programs, so I said "FINE, YOU PICK THEM OUT!" and he came crawling back saying he didn't realize there were so many options and they had to match our theme and what we had used for the STD and the invitations (since we didn't go with one whole theme...stupid that I didn't).  So I think because we don't include them, they don't fully realize all the effort that goes into planning.  But just like dberrett said, the day of, it's like nothing can touch you, I was like teflon lol just having a good time, didn't care that it may rain, because at that point it's not up to you anymore and you can't focus on the small details, but the big picture which is marrying your best friend and celebrating bigger than you'll ever do again in your life with the people you love.

    And trust me, after it's over, you'll be sad, you'll want to have another party, it's just the way it goes.  But try to take a step back, a day off from planning, because this is the only chance you get and you want it to be fun.
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