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Customs and Traditions

Father/Daughter, Mother/Son Dance

I'm not close with my dad at all, haven't been since I was a kid, and my fiance's mom passed away a few years ago. Is it ok to not have the father/daughter and mother/son dances? Or should I grit my teeth and dance with my dad and he can dance with.. someone? He isn't really that close with any of the women in his family. Is that considered rude or anything? I'm not having a traditional wedding in the first place.

Re: Father/Daughter, Mother/Son Dance

  • Not at all!! Don't do it! If it makes you feel a little uncomfortalbe than it's not worth doing at all. Trust me, most guests may not even notice!
  • exenoexeno member
    First Comment
    Thank you so much!
  • I totally agree to cut it out entirely.  However, if you have a step-dad or uncle (or someone else like that) that you are close to, you can certainly dance with that person if you're interested.  You can also have a uncle/niece dance without having an equivalent dance for the groom if this would work better for the both of you.
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  • exenoexeno member
    First Comment
    Unfortunately I don't have anyone like that. I'm not really close to any of the men in my family and he isn't very close with the women in his.
    Thank you! I feel better with reassurance it's ok to cut that part out.
  • yep. leave it out altogether. no need to feel uncomfortable on your day just because someone might think you are "supposed to." and really, I dont' think anyone will notice, except maybe your dad. so think about whether he will notice/care and what you will say to him.
  • I want to do these dances but my father passed away last october so its really sad that I cant but just because I cant I dont want my Fiance not to do his dance but he feels bad for me. What should I do?

  • edited July 2010
    If you want to do the dances then do the dances.  My father about a year before my wedding, and I was reallly close to him, so it was very sad, I missed him terrible.  I asked my brother to stand in for our dad during the dance. My brother was very honored and it made me miss my dad just a little less. 
    A friend of mine, whose father left when she was very young, danced with her mom.  They learned a fancy waltz and didn't care at all that it wasn't very traditional.  You will find something that works for you.
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