Changing Bridal Party

Re: Changing Bridal Party

• Sue-n-Kevin member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  Congrats & welcome!
  
  After being on the Knot for over a year, here's my take:
  - Bridal parties do not have to be even
  - Choose the people you want to celebrate the day with you: best friends and family members
  - People who were picked 5 years ago don't have to make the cut
  
  Movie sequels don't always have the same actors in the same parts.........neither should wedding parties unless they have the same closeness they did before and you aren't substituting fiance's family members or people closer to you now.
  
  Good luck.

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• mmhepb

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_changing-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:3aba95ac-7e7a-4b01-bec1-12f64cfe6f84Post:9a52e329-a2ff-4730-9e80-f1218c766a47">Re: Changing Bridal Party</a>:
  [QUOTE]Congrats & welcome! After being on the Knot for over a year, here's my take: - Bridal parties do not have to be even - Choose the people you want to celebrate the day with you: best friends and family members - People who were picked 5 years ago don't have to make the cut <div><strong>Movie sequels don't always have the same actors in the same parts.........neither should wedding parties unless they have the same closeness they did before</strong> and you aren't substituting fiance's family members or people closer to you now. Good luck.
  Posted by Sue-n-Kevin[/QUOTE]</div><div>
  </div><div>Very well stated.  Love the analogy!
  
  </div>

  Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

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• ChampagnePunch member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  Thanks, Sue. I definitely agree with you. And I too love the analogy. It's helpful to think of it that way. I'm still nervous about the situation, however. I was talking with my best friend the other day and she thinks at least one of the two girls is going to be very hurt. Anyone have any ideas on how I can help her to feel better once the news is broken? Or should I just stay out of it and let things unfold on their own? I'd like to think that my former bridesmaids are mature enough to recognize that relationships evolve and their not being in my wedding party isn't a reflection of how I feel about them as people... but I have to say, I would probably feel hurt if I was in their situation. I would also probably get over it,pretty quickly, but one of these ladies tends to have a tough time letting things go. I just don't want to have to deal with any drama... I want this wedding to be casual and cool, not a crazy major messy deal! 

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• Sue-n-Kevin member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  Having never been married before, I can't put myself in your shoes. However, what you are dealing with is really no different than who you send Xmas cards to, who you "Friend" on Facebook, etc. Relationships evolve over time, and while it may only be 5 years, it's really not something you should worry yourself over. Hell, getting married a second time in 5 years is stressful enough.
  
  If you feel that concerned about their feelings, I wouldn't talk to them at first. Quietly ask your bridal party to stand up with you. If you hear about any fallout, then address it with that person. If someone truly cares about you, they want you to make decisions in your life that fit your life NOW. You are inheriting a new family, and there are people in that family that have to be considered. I believe a mature adult will understand.
  
  Good luck.

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• ChampagnePunch member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  Thanks for the words of wisdom and encouragement. I really appreciate it!

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• blush64 member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  I agree with what everyone else has said.
  
  I was a BM for a close friend who is no longer close. Her wedding also ended quickly. If or when she ever gets married again I would fully understand why I was not in the wedding party this time. I would not ever expect it since we are clearly not as close as we were. Hopefully she will understand as well.

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• lindaloulubbock

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  I felt the opposite--I was worried that people would be annoyed at being a bridesmaid a second time.  We ended up just having immediate family so that it wasn't an issue.

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• dmcrivello

  

  January 2012

  Hi ladies! This is my first post, so here's hoping I get it right. I had four bridesmaids in my first wedding party (though it was a small destination wedding with a total of 24 guests). My initial thought was that I would just have my sister stand up with me this time, but my FI(? Did I use that right?) would like to have three groomsmen. It is his first wedding, so I feel he should be able to have his friends stand up with him. I wouldn't say that I've grown apart from any of my previous bridesmaids, but I felt bad asking them to spend the money again. I also thought that I might try just having my sister and my friend that introduced my FI and I (who is also a close friend of mine and will be the only friend I have locally while planning the wedding--I live on the west coast and my friends and family are all on the east coast. I'm just tired of thinking about this one on my own and would love some other opinions. Thanks!

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