Dress color code

barbara73 · March 2010

Hello everyone!
I need some advice please.
I'm not having a traditional wedding. My dress is a blueish/grayish color and would like to know if is ok to ask my guest to not wear blue.
Any suggestions to how I could that?

Thanks!

abbycobb812 · March 2010

I disagree with the last poster, I don't think there's anything wrong with that request. Everyone knows they're not supposed to wear the same color as the bride, and I personally would feel kind of bad/awkward if I did this by accident.

Anyways...this might sound corny, but could you do a short little poem in your invitation? I just had a friend do this for a baby shower invite because she was requesting books in place of cards.

Something along the lines of:

Roses are red,
My dress is blue,
And I'll kick your ass,
If you wear that color too.

Haha...you get the idea though.

barbara73 · March 2010

Thank you very much for your polite answer abbycobb812.

It is easier when the dress is a usual white or beige but in my case is Blue/Gray.

Thanks for the great idea!

kristinanddan · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_dress-color-code?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:68ef4c74-78f1-4606-913f-6fa8ca0f2c7ePost:8cab82d9-0b14-49e2-861a-804e467c242d">Re: Dress color code</a>:
[QUOTE]I disagree with the last poster, I don't think there's anything wrong with that request. Everyone knows they're not supposed to wear the same color as the bride, and I personally would feel kind of bad/awkward if I did this by accident. Anyways...this might sound corny, but could you do a short little poem in your invitation? I just had a friend do this for a baby shower invite because she was requesting books in place of cards. Something along the lines of: Roses are red, My dress is blue, And I'll kick your ass, If you wear that color too. Haha...you get the idea though.
Posted by abbycobb812[/QUOTE]

I disagree with you completely. You do not tell adults how to dress. And poems do not make bad etiquette ok!

tannymcgee · March 2010

a poem doesn't make a rude request any less rude. please don't tell your guests what to wear.

SarahRuthG · March 2010

I agree above you can't pull off telling guests what color to not wear. But maybe family can spread word of mouth to other family? Not sure your picture plans but at least that way no family members would be wearing the same color in any important pictures.... I suggest that but at the same time if I tried it with my family and my soon to be inlaws I would probably be shot. Good luck to you!

quotequeen · March 2010

I don't think you can politely request that they not wear blue, but you can spread the word that you will be wearing blue. Most people will get the hint.

aerinpegadrak · March 2010

I think poems actually make things worse, because not only is it bad etiquette, it's usually bad poetry as well. Unless your venue has a dress code (as in, they'll turn away men not wearing jackets), then you can't tell your guests what to wear, period.

If you're really going to freak out about it, you might get word of mouth working for you that your dress is blue (and leave it at that). If I knew that the bride was wearing blue, I'd probably choose another color, but if the bride told me I was forbidden to wear blue, I'd decline the wedding and probably not talk to her anymore, because I don't like hanging out with crazy people.

pandasquishy · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_dress-color-code?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:68ef4c74-78f1-4606-913f-6fa8ca0f2c7ePost:c21ab0d9-2db3-4d88-914a-8dba8e7b48a6">Re: Dress color code</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't really agree that you can't tell people what to wear. I wouldn't put a poem or something like that on you invitations though. You could have a black and white party dress code.<div><strong>No, you still can't tell your guests what to wear. If someone told me I had to wear black and white I would actually have to go out and buy a new outfit. Forget it.</strong></div><div>That way it is an acceptable way to say what should be worn.</div><div> <strong>It is not an acceptable way to say what should be worn. </strong> </div><div>Also spreading the word would work and you really only need to worry about those people that you want to have in your pictures.</div><div><strong>Your guests are not props, do not treat them as such</strong>. </div><div>Posted by kfilemyr[/QUOTE]

<div>You cannot tell your guests what to wear, no matter what, unless the venue has restrictions. Your guests are adults and can dress themselves.</div></div>

kfilemyr · March 2010

But people can have a black and white party. I was not saying to use the people as props, I don't think it even really seemed like I said that at all. Lets put it this way, it's your day! Wear any color that you want and who cares what the other people wear. You will stand out as the bride no matter what. All that really matters is that you are marrying that one that you love. Sorry that your simple question has turned into such snarky responses. It's your day, just enjoy it!

LauraT25 · March 2010

I think that spreading it by word of mouth is fine - you will find a lot of people will ask you (or your BP or family) about what to wear, so just have them casually throw in there, "Oh, by the way, Barbara is wearing a greyish blue dress, if that makes a difference." Most people will then choose to avoid that color.

I wouldn't include it in the invitations, because I do think it comes off a bit Bridezilla-ish, even if you don't mean it that way - I know that as a guest, if I showed up in a blue-grey dress, and then realized the bride was wearing the same color, I might wish I'd gotten a heads-up, but I still don't think it's appropriate in the invitations.

Also, if people still choose to wear a similar color, don't freak out about it too much. You will still stand out with a bouquet, veil, etc, as the bride, and it really won't look awful in pictures, I promise. If it's a true faux pas (like a super-formal dress), it's the guest that will look bad and you will be focused on more important things.

a_spinhirne · March 2010

I would say that having family and friends spread the request by word of mouth is really the only reasonable approach. It is not o.k. to tell guests what to wear in an invitation or any place else and it will definitely come off as bridezilla-ish/ridiculous. I know it's a tradition that guests don't wear white to weddings, but I personally wouldn't mind if someone showed up wearing white to mine. I think it will still be quite obvious who the bride is!

xjizzyx · March 2010

Im wearing red, Im not worried about guests wearing the same colour as me, Its pretty safe to say your dress will be alot fancier than what anyone else would wear even if it is the same colour.

Dress color code

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