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is it insulting to ask for a different organist/cantor?

unplainjaneunplainjane member
500 Comments
in Catholic Weddings
i'm going to meet with my priest this weekend to talk details about the wedding. the regular organist/cantor is terrible. it is a small church so i don't know if they use any others. is it terribly rude to ask if i can select my own organist/cantor to bring in? how do i suggest this politely?
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Re: is it insulting to ask for a different organist/cantor?

  • ring_popring_pop member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think it's insulting. Church musicians understand that couples often have their own friends or relatives who are musicians. My church is very open to outside musicians being brought in for part or all of the wedding.

    Just ask, "We have an organist/cantor in mind that we really love [or] who is a friend. Can we use them for our ceremony?". It will help your case if the person has experience doing Catholic weddings. Obviously, don't say "we don't want to use the church's organist because we think s/he's terrible." :)

    Keep in mind that some churches may have a policy that you have to pay them whether or not you use them. And your musician(s) will most likely need to meet with your music director and/or priest to go over specific policies and your music selections. But, go ahead and ask!
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  • Hope61Hope61 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto ring_pop... I would think if you find a nice way to go about it, it would be fine... but beware of the extra charge. My church charges $300 for the organist, and $150 if you don't use their organist. The reason for that is that their organist makes his living largely off of the 2 weddings per weekend at the church. If he's missing out on one of those, he would be missing out on a lot of money. So it sucks, but I guess it makes sense.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    edited December 2011
    Ditto ring_pop. We were able to hire our own, but just ask to be sure.
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  • bibliophile2010bibliophile2010 member
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with with others. We are able to bring in our own person, but ask to be sure what the policies are.

    We have to have our music and whatnot approved by the music director, but are having a friend do the actual music. The fact that she works at another parish and often does music for friends at my parish clearly helps.
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