STRESSSSS

faerylvr27 · January 2012

I am so stressed out. I should be enjoying this whole experience, but instead I am freaking. OUT. We're also apartment hunting and it's hard out there. It's getting frustrating that every place we fall in love with disappears so quickly. Having to deal with both planning and searching at the same time is giving me anxiety. FI keeps reminding me I need to slow down and do one thing at a time but I'm having a hard time doing that. Am I alone out here? Can anyone relate?

Renew2 · January 2012

Yep, I'm stressing too. Trying to finish up my classes as well as do this. Nuts I tell ya.

quiggels219 · January 2012

Yep, we are all getting super close to our wedding day and the to-dos seem to just pile up! Not to mention the last minute stress inducing add-ons of my FMIL but thats for another day. I am just trying to take it one to do at a time rather than focusing on all of them at once - but like you I have trouble really doing that!

bakersduzin · January 2012

I hear ya and can totally relate. FI and I just closed on our house a month ago, and he's living there, but I'm not. So I've been freaking out about planning the wedding, moving the ton of crap that I have from one house to another, and FI being out of a job. It's crazy. I'm trying to enjoy the wedding planning as much as I can, but it gets hard when so much else keeps piling up. Like PP said, I'm trying to just do one thing at a time, but it gets really difficult. I just keep telling myself that it will all be worth it in the end!

meganb1977 · January 2012

That is stressful, hope you find the perfect place soon!

EBONYROBERT · January 2012

I can relate too..wedding day is getting close and now i have to buy a new car so mad about that! i just dont want to spend any more money after this wedding.

blgrout · January 2012

I think we're all getting stressed, the closer the wedding gets! I have lists...everywhere, for every little thing. And usually every little thing on multiple lists (FI says I must have list making OCD...he's probably right). But if I don't have all these lists, I get overwhelmed because there's still so much to do.

One thing at a time, right?

MCCRARYSCOTT · January 2012

I'm so glad i came across this post and realize that i am not the only one. I've been freaking out too and doing so much of the planning stuff every single weekend. Meeting with vendors and Church officials, typing up the readings, printing out our map cards, looking for parent gifts, assembling the invitations, finishing making the last minute stuff all at once, that the stress keeps piling on. Not to mention working a full time hectic and stressful job with people around me getting laid off, while i'm forking out so much money on the wedding expenses. My doctor said that i am going to have anxiety and panic attacks if i dont slow down. So i've decided to take a break this week, at least 1 week from not doing stuff or mentioning anything wedding related. I planned a happy hour night out with friends and this weekendmy FI and i are going to a winery and a hiking trip. I think getting outdoors and doing some other activities other than wedding planning will help me relax and gain my sanity back. Might even help rejuvenate my excitement with the planning.

chickenbut143 · January 2012

I'm with BLGROUT...I'm a list person - and they're everywhere! Everytime i see a "what have you done lately" thread, i freak out inside. We're so close, but still have so much to do (mostly DIYs). Not to mention the stuff we can't control like table arragements - i want to do it now, but know we can't until we get RSVPs.

rlavach · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_stresssss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:59f6839c-89fb-4a46-b93f-9506fab2fc56Post:45933aff-3e72-4256-8077-64ea31f256e9">STRESSSSS</a>:
[QUOTE]I am so stressed out. I should be enjoying this whole experience, but instead I am freaking. OUT. We're also apartment hunting and it's hard out there. It's getting frustrating that every place we fall in love with disappears so quickly. Having to deal with both planning and searching at the same time is giving me anxiety. FI keeps reminding me I need to slow down and do one thing at a time but I'm having a hard time doing that. Am I alone out here? Can anyone relate?
Posted by faerylvr27[/QUOTE]
YES YES YES YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS! I feel you so much. This will be the first time I'm moving out & we both need to find an apartment for us within the next 2 weeks. My FI has no credit, so we have the arduous task of finding a place that will let him live there even if the lease is only under me. Then I'll move in after we're married.<div>
</div><div>Everywhere is either too expensive, too small, disgusting, or won't lease to us. It has been so frustrating. I spent the last 2 weekends calling, visiting & searching for apartments. </div><div>
</div><div>We applied to ONE that let us. They just called us back today & the super said he really feels that they might discriminate against us since my FI doesn't have credit, so I should go back in & fill out the appl again with just my info. I was so scared when I saw his call, I was shaking. I really hope this works. Due to our job situations & locations, there aren't a lot of towns we can look for. </div><div>
</div><div>Apartment hunting is so not fun. Plus, then the next day my great uncle passes away and two of my FI's childhood friends pass (separately, of course). Balancing that with my 2 jobs & still coordinating vendors is insane.</div><div>
</div><div>This part needs to be over fast! </div>

cdbishop · January 2012

I know, definitely stressed! Between being busy at work (going to be out of state for the next 4 weeks for work) and the wedding I am stressed. And when I am stressed I bite my lip and I can't keep doing that because it will look awful on wedding day!

To add to it, FI is asking when are you going to do this, that etc for wedding items. I know that I haven't been the most on top of it, but I know it will get done and he is just adding to the stress.

faerylvr27 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_stresssss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:59f6839c-89fb-4a46-b93f-9506fab2fc56Post:af404d08-412e-4ee4-bf86-25dfa2e67459">Re: STRESSSSS</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to STRESSSSS : YES YES YES YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS! I feel you so much. This will be the first time I'm moving out & we both need to find an apartment for us within the next 2 weeks. <strong>My FI has no credit, so we have the arduous task of finding a place that will let him live there even if the lease is only under me</strong>. Then I'll move in after we're married. Everywhere is either too expensive, too small, disgusting, or won't lease to us. It has been so frustrating. I spent the last 2 weekends calling, visiting & searching for apartments. We applied to ONE that let us. They just called us back today & the super said he really feels that they might discriminate against us since my FI doesn't have credit, so I should go back in & fill out the appl again with just my info. I was so scared when I saw his call, I was shaking. I really hope this works. Due to our job situations & locations, there aren't a lot of towns we can look for. Apartment hunting is so not fun. Plus, then the next day my great uncle passes away and two of my FI's childhood friends pass (separately, of course). Balancing that with my 2 jobs & still coordinating vendors is insane. This part needs to be over fast!
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

this is my life. my credit isn't great either, but i'm rebuilding and i have the income to pay the rent, but all these landlords see is a FICO score. it's very discouraging. i'm looking in a select area as well due to the shorter commute and great schools for my kids, but this is getting to be extremely frustrating. at least one of the realtors im working with is willing to work with me and try to pull as many strings as possible. *fingers and toes crossed* for both of us.

faerylvr27 · January 2012

thanks ladies for helping me realize i'm not alone in this. i can't wait til its over and i can just enjoy being married

rlavach · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_stresssss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:59f6839c-89fb-4a46-b93f-9506fab2fc56Post:b477eb24-2dba-46a1-82fb-52ba0fa32a5f">Re: STRESSSSS</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: STRESSSSS : this is my life. my credit isn't great either, but i'm rebuilding and i have the income to pay the rent, but all these landlords see is a FICO score. it's very discouraging. i'm looking in a select area as well due to the shorter commute and great schools for my kids, but this is getting to be extremely frustrating. at least one of the realtors im working with is willing to work with me and try to pull as many strings as possible. *fingers and toes crossed* for both of us.
Posted by faerylvr27[/QUOTE]
I totally understand. Fortunately for me, I have very good credit and enough income to afford the apartment we're looking at. When you add in his income, we can afford a much more expensive place, but since we can't put him on there, we can only go by me. <div>
</div><div>It really is frustrating. My BM's parents have atrocious credit & have actually managed to ruin her's too (she's 25 like me). She tells me, oh, don't worry...they always find an apartment! Yeah, but is it in an area they want to be in?? Are they paying what the place is worth, or are they being overcharged? </div><div>
</div><div>We're in the NYC metro area, so rent is insane. If we could move even 20-30 min south, closer to my job, we'd easily save $3-400 a month on rent. Unfortunately, no can do. Just got to suck it up for now. </div><div>
</div><div>Gotta look for the light at the end of the tunnel!!</div>

em01092 · January 2012

We're going to be living with FI's best friend for a while to save money. He isn't going to charge more for us when I move in, as long as I clean (not his room though! not having 2 husbands!) so that's an awesome deal. We hope to be out on our own within a year, hopefully in a house! There are some great rates because of foreclosures in our area, so it's definitely a buyer's market.

starree444 · January 2012

I think we're all starting to really feel the pressure. Every day there is something new that I now have to do for the wedding. I need to become a list person. Fast.

AmandaSC1988 · January 2012

I never post on this board.... But, to be completely honest, wedding planning is the LEAST stressful thing I have going on right now. My FI is in the Navy and is stationed 1200 miles away. Everything in his job is completely up in the air…of course I can’t talk details on a public forum but…let’s just say he will be leaving for several weeks RIGHT after we get married. SO in the “honeymoon” time we have to run around getting everything squared away with the Navy so I can get health care and what not. Not to mention having to leave my wonderful job here and find a job out there, Finding an apartment, and moving out there BY MY SELF.

Wedding planning is only as stressful as I make it…and I refuse to be stressed out over it. I suggest everybody watch “bridezilla” and realize just how ridiculous we can get.

em01092 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_stresssss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:59f6839c-89fb-4a46-b93f-9506fab2fc56Post:4c500250-eb7f-4a33-8255-10f4340531ae">Re: STRESSSSS</a>:
[QUOTE]I never post on this board.... But, to be completely honest, wedding planning is the LEAST stressful thing I have going on right now. My FI is in the Navy and is stationed 1200 miles away. Everything in his job is completely up in the air…of course I can’t talk details on a public forum but…let’s just say he will be leaving for several weeks RIGHT after we get married. SO in the “honeymoon” time we have to run around getting everything squared away with the Navy so I can get health care and what not. Not to mention having to leave my wonderful job here and find a job out there, Finding an apartment, and moving out there BY MY SELF. Wedding planning is only as stressful as I make it…and I refuse to be stressed out over it. I suggest everybody watch “bridezilla” and realize just how ridiculous we can get.
Posted by AmandaSC1988[/QUOTE]<div>
<div>I'm so sorry to hear that about your FI! Props and kudos to you. My MOH is a military bride w/ her FI in Afghanistan, and I don't know how she does it. </div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>
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cgyvhu · January 2012

I think anytime you add additional responsibilities to what you are already doing, it gets stressful. Personally, I'm defending my PhD dissertation 9 days before the wedding. Also trying to find a job in the city FI lives in for post-graduation, continue my 2nd job and plan this wedding. It's a lot, but I'm managing.

Amanda - I'm sorry that your FI's job in the military gives you a lot of stress and I can't imagine what that's like. That said, no one here was being a bridezilla by venting about their life stresses. To me, your post sounds kinda judgy, like your problems are worse than everyone's. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way.

rlavach · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_stresssss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:59f6839c-89fb-4a46-b93f-9506fab2fc56Post:379c1f9e-90b6-4094-ba27-7e23f2adfef7">Re: STRESSSSS</a>:
[QUOTE]I think anytime you add additional responsibilities to what you are already doing, it gets stressful. Personally, I'm defending my PhD dissertation 9 days before the wedding. Also trying to find a job in the city FI lives in for post-graduation, continue my 2nd job and plan this wedding. It's a lot, but I'm managing. Amanda - I'm sorry that your FI's job in the military gives you a lot of stress and I can't imagine what that's like. That said, no one here was being a bridezilla by venting about their life stresses. <strong>To me, your post sounds kinda judgy, like your problems are worse than everyone's. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way.</strong>
Posted by mdphd[/QUOTE]
Yeah, it did sound judgy. I think the common denominator between most of the posts on here is how stressful wedding planning has been BECAUSE of the other things. If we all got to sit back & the only thing we had to worry about was planning our wedding & absolutely nothing else...I don't think there'd be much to talk about on here.<div>
</div><div>Clearly, the problem is fitting that in along with all of the other responsibilities that pile up & become more intense surrounding a marriage. Really, the only ladies I've seen who aren't stressing...have a planner.</div>

em01092 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_stresssss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:59f6839c-89fb-4a46-b93f-9506fab2fc56Post:379c1f9e-90b6-4094-ba27-7e23f2adfef7">Re: STRESSSSS</a>:
[QUOTE]I think anytime you add additional responsibilities to what you are already doing, it gets stressful. Personally, I'm defending my PhD dissertation 9 days before the wedding. Also trying to find a job in the city FI lives in for post-graduation, continue my 2nd job and plan this wedding. It's a lot, but I'm managing. Amanda - I'm sorry that your FI's job in the military gives you a lot of stress and I can't imagine what that's like. <strong>That said, no one here was being a bridezilla by venting about their life stresses. To me, your post sounds kinda judgy, like your problems are worse than everyone's. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way.</strong>
Posted by mdphd[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I picked up on that too, but I was giving her the benefit of the doubt.

</div>

AmandaSC1988 · January 2012

My intent was not to be judge-y at all. I’m sorry I even mentioned my FI was in the military, I realize now that my comment came across as more competitive than I intended. In my defense, I was a bit on the frustrated side because FI had just told me the actual date he was leaving. My Bridezilla comment was about the TV show. If you ladies have not seen it, watch it… It gave me some perspective on how my stress comes across to the rest of the population (Not calling ANY of you bridezillas at ALL). As a woman who gets stressed over the littlest things in real life… I have had my fair share of melt downs, and I have found that TV show hilarious when I my stress gets too much.

cgyvhu · January 2012

ah, sorry for misinterpreting. I seriously don't know how anyone marrying into military (or who are in the military) deals with the stress. I hope you can get a good support group in place in your new city!

mybestfriend4eva · January 2012

We all are such amazing women doing so many awesome things with our lives when you throw in that wedding planning chaos its easy to stress. I know ive had my stress and freak outs and they get worse by the day now it seems. In response to the misunderstanding thank you all for remaining polite. That being said I think this board is one of the best to vent on now matter what it is or your situation. I know not everyone is in the same boat im in so I make sure to remember that when im reading someones post. It takes a lot of guts just to post on these boards let alone have a true feeling about something. Im glad you ladies have been able to understand each other.

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