What do we do?!

hgreenwood89 · June 2012

Okay so I'm getting married Sept 2013. Before we got engaged we had already planned a cruise for January 2014 (mother in laws bday).. we were gonna make THAT our actual honeymoon. Yes, my mother in law, father in law and a couple of there friends will be on the cruise with us. We were thinking of going down to FL 3-4 days prior to the cruise, just me and my groom, to celebrate just us. We would be getting a totally different room and level then my groom's parents. Just wondering peoples ideas on this..?!

Also, my groom was talking about going somewhere the weekend after we get married (we are getting married on a friday). Like possibly Vegas, or FL for the weekend, since we have to wait til January for our ACTUAL honeymoon. Thoughts please?

catwine · June 2012

i say you should go somewhere for the wkend after your wedding in Sept...i wouldn't want to spend my honeymoon with family!! if you can, i suggest taking maybe closer to a week for your honeymoon in sept. if not, still do the weekend. enjoy the cruise later as just a vaction, but not a honeymoon.

Jells2dot0 · June 2012

i'm a second time bride and the first time, I was just like you- wanted to plan WELL in advance. I can't begin to tell you how many things changed in the two years from my engagement and wedding. this time, I waited to plan a few things and in reality, wished I had waited to plan the actual destination wedding! I had to book early since the resort only has 6 rooms, but I have changed jobs, moved twice, and applied to/deferred my enrollment into a Master's Program all between Nov 2010 when I got engaged, and my wedding, which is in two months. I say take a breather, try to save a little money if you can as if you were doing two trips (one small, after the wedding as your HM and the big trip in January), and let things happen. A quick getaway close to home can be planned within two months' time or less.

Summer2011Bride · June 2012

It's totally up to you about the cruise. I personally wouldn't want to spend my HM with family, but that is totally up to you. I do think taking a little getaway the weekend after would be a good idea. Is it possible to save up for a bigger (like 5-6 day trip) immediately after the wedding that could be your HM and then still go on the cruise later as just a trip?

hgreenwood89 · June 2012

Thank you everyone! Yeah, I am definitely thinking of just making the January getaway, just a vacation. It is hard to plan something right after the wedding because my groom has a hard time getting a lot of time off with his job. But we are definitely going away after the wedding. Also, thinking of maybe going down even earlier before the cruise, like 4 or 5 days to ourselfs.

Maggie0829 · June 2012

I hate to burst everyone's bubble but a HM is just a vacation too.

alithebride · June 2012

i think going somehwere the weekend after is a great idea but at the same time it's a cruise. unless you're staying int he same room with them there's so much to do that you dont' ahve to be with them all the time so i wouldn't worry about it too much.

Summer2011Bride · June 2012

Yeah a HM is just a vacation but typically not a trip you take with parents, friends, siblings, or others and something just the bride and groom do together. Like I said, if she's fine with it, that's great, but it wouldn't be my style, and I don't know of a single person who took their HM with family members. That would definitely be the exception, not the norm, so it isn't crazy to suggest taking a HM just the two of them.

Maggie0829 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_what-do-we-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:48c018ed-46a4-49d7-864c-f60e0893f412Post:ee7c63e8-3522-4a0b-a253-920c0609701c">Re: What do we do?!</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah a HM is just a vacation but typically not a trip you take with parents, friends, siblings, or others and something just the bride and groom do together. Like I said, if she's fine with it, that's great, but it wouldn't be my style, and I don't know of a single person who took their HM with family members. That would definitely be the exception, not the norm, so it isn't crazy to suggest taking a HM just the two of them.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

Again this can be done anytime a couple wants...it is called a romantic getaway. I honestly feel that the wedding industry has hyped up the HM to a "once in a lifetime trip" so much that many couples tend to go into debt to have the picture perfect trip, but they fail to forget that you can have a romantic vacation anytime that you want and usually at a less expensive cost.

Any vacation can be "once in a lifetime" trip, like if H and I ever go on a Europe excursion that trip will most likely be a "once in a lifetime" vacation because we would not be able to afford it again

Summer2011Bride · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_what-do-we-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:48c018ed-46a4-49d7-864c-f60e0893f412Post:d1a8cee8-31de-4d67-b589-50ff5ce75953">Re: What do we do?!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What do we do?! : Again this can be done anytime a couple wants...it is called a romantic getaway. I honestly feel that the wedding industry has hyped up the HM to a "once in a lifetime trip" so much that many couples tend to go into debt to have the picture perfect trip, but they fail to forget that you can have a romantic vacation anytime that you want and usually at a less expensive cost. Any vacation can be "once in a lifetime" trip, like if H and I ever go on a Europe excursion that trip will most likely be a "once in a lifetime" vacation because we would not be able to afford it again
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

Well if someone goes into major debt over a vacation--any vacation--that is on them and their poor choices. No one else you can blame for that. The wedding industry pushes a lot of unnecessary and stupid crap, but it's up to consumers to use common sense.

Yes, any trip can be the trip of a lifetime. We're talking here about the "traditional" HM, which is a trip taken closely or right after the wedding just the B&G. It could be a staycation or a trip around the world. We are suggesting she might want her HM to be just her and H, which is how it traditionally is. I feel like you're making a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be.

Maggie0829 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_what-do-we-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:48c018ed-46a4-49d7-864c-f60e0893f412Post:cea4e36d-7b0d-4879-b91c-140bd61f5021">Re: What do we do?!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What do we do?! : Well if someone goes into major debt over a vacation--any vacation--that is on them and their poor choices. No one else you can blame for that. The wedding industry pushes a lot of unnecessary and stupid crap, but it's up to consumers to use common sense. Yes, any trip can be the trip of a lifetime. We're talking here about the "traditional" HM, which is a trip taken closely or right after the wedding just the B&G. It could be a staycation or a trip around the world. We are suggesting she might want her HM to be just her and H, which is how it traditionally is. I feel like you're making a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

But this is my point, I feel like everyone is telling her that her original idea of a HM was wrong and since it didn't follow "tradition" that it really wouldn't be a HM. A HM can be anything you want it to be. If she wants to go on a cruise with her FI family then so be it. If she wants to have her HM be a trip to Vegas with 10 of their friends great!

I know what the "traditional" definition of a HM is but I feel like no one is ever open to thinking outside of the box when it comes to a HM and that if it isn't done "traditionally" then it doesn't count.

Did my H and I go on a HM just the two of us, yes. Did we have fun, yes. Would we have had just as much fun on our HM if we invited our entire WP along, hell yes. I just think OP needs to know that a HM can be whatever she wants and she is not limited to a specific idea.

And maybe I just felt like debating/arguing about something.

hgreenwood89 · June 2012

My hubby to be and I will have our own time and our own vacation, don't get me wrong. The cruise will probably be more of a vacation for us. Trust me, personally, I don't want any family members on our honeymoon with us, hence why we were gonna go down earlier, just me and my hubby, to have our own time. Also, we are going away after our wedding, that weekend. In addition, during our time on the cruise we wouldn't be hanging with the family the whole time, probably only a couple days out of the 7 days we are on the boat. Didn't mean to start any arguements. I greatly appreciate everyone's ideas/opinions. Thank you!!

jemmini6 · June 2012

You can do your HM however you want to, there's no right or wrong way. If it would make you happy to go on a cruise with your family, then go for it! If you are asking opinions because you aren't sure if that's what you want, then you have a few options.

IMO, I think it's nice to have alone time immediately after the wedding. This can be anything from a 'traditional' once in a lifetime type of honeymoon, to holding up in your house for a few days and anything in between, such as the 'mini-moon' that you mentioned.

Then if you want to celebrate further by taking another vacation, regardless of if you call it a honeymoon or not or go with family or not, then there's nothing wrong with that.

Summer2011Bride · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_what-do-we-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:48c018ed-46a4-49d7-864c-f60e0893f412Post:5f5f0200-74cb-4e15-8bc4-5780f1136bf3">Re: What do we do?!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What do we do?! : But this is my point, I feel like everyone is telling her that her original idea of a HM was wrong and since it didn't follow "tradition" that it really wouldn't be a HM. A HM can be anything you want it to be. If she wants to go on a cruise with her FI family then so be it. If she wants to have her HM be a trip to Vegas with 10 of their friends great! I know what the "traditional" definition of a HM is but I feel like no one is ever open to thinking outside of the box when it comes to a HM and that if it isn't done "traditionally" then it doesn't count. Did my H and I go on a HM just the two of us, yes. Did we have fun, yes. Would we have had just as much fun on our HM if we invited our entire WP along, hell yes. I just think OP needs to know that a HM can be whatever she wants and she is not limited to a specific idea. And maybe I just felt like debating/arguing about something.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

But OP asked for our opinions and suggestions, so we gave them. My opinion is I would prefer to spend time alone with my H right after my wedding; hence, why I and many others suggested they take some time by themselves and later take a family trip/cruise. I do feel like you're arguing just to argue. No one is knocking unconventional HMs, but when asked for my opinion, I'll give it. It sounds like from the advice and opinions given, OP has made up her mind, which is what the point of the thread was, so all is good.

thegreeneyedkri · June 2012

Having been on my Brother and SIL's honeymoon with them, I can say it can be a little awkward for the other parties. Brother and SIL ended up moving their wedding up and planning it around the trip we already planned, so our trip to Mexico turned into their honeymoon (which I understand budget wise, as they already had 2 children and most likely wouldn't have the money to have taken another trip later on in the year as well). It could be different if it is other couples going, but it was my Brother, new SIL, myself and our Step Sister.

Of course, you've said you want to have a lot of personal time and not hang with the family the entire time, which I think makes a big difference. Especially the little bit of alone time beforehand as well. My Brother and SIL wanted to be with us the whole time, which made it feel a little odd and we ALL left for the airport the morning right after the wedding (really 6 hours or so after the reception had ended). So they had absolutely NO alone time at all (but, by their own choice).

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