Got another RSVP today...

Zimsgirl · March 2012

And he RSVPd a guest. He truly is single and he's always had great etiquette so I did not expect this from him. I always thought it'd be easy to say we can't accomodate plus ones if people add them but actually being in the situation I'm not sure what to do

(XP on FB group)

janeash · March 2012

Be tough. That is all I can say really. We sent our invites out early cause we are doing a DW and so I have had to deal with all this crap already. Be firm, otherwise if you let him do it, then you have no excuse to not let other people do it!

it may suck, but he will get over it...and when he plans his own wedding, he will understand completely!

Megbo2012 · March 2012

Double check facebook (I'm sure you already did)

"Hey X, we got your RSVP in the mail today, so glad you can make it! Unfortunately, it was not in the budget to extend single guests a plus one. We hope you understand. Can't wait to see you June 2nd!"

Do you know who he plus oned?

melntaitt · March 2012

My encounter went like this:

Friend: Hey Mel, do I still get a plus one?
Me: Of course you do hun!
Friend: Can I bring Jen?
Me: Yeah, of course
Friend: Well, she won't come unless her husband can come...
Me: Well, sorry but you only get one...
Friend: But I really want her to come
Me: Well, let me put it like this: I really want you there but if you can't come without them, I understand why you can't attend. Later.

RSVP: 1 the next day.

DrPB2b13 · March 2012

What to do:

Call up and explain that you would love to accomodate his plus one, but you can't afford to do it for everyone and you hope he understands.

You need to set a precedent and draw a line now. If you let it sit for a few weeks, he'll have invited his date who will have purchased a dress and it will turn into a much bigger fiasco. If you bite your tongue and let her take the "place" of someone who said no, you risk hurting feelings of other people who didn't get a plus one "just because" they didn't write one in for themselves, or worse offending someone who DID write someone in who you turned down because you had an easier time telling them no.

Zimsgirl · March 2012

In Response to Re:Got another RSVP today...:[QUOTE]Double check facebook I'm sure you already did"Hey X, we got your RSVP in the mail today, so glad you can make it! Unfortunately, it was not in the budget to extend single guests a plus one. nbsp;We hope you understand. Can't wait to see you June 2nd!"Do you know who he plus oned? Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]
She's a friend and I don't know her. My sister does and said she's not the nicest and some other stuff

Megbo2012 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_got-another-rsvp-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:8a9203b3-e7ca-4d8e-95a9-eabbde5e11ffPost:28c3ea28-d023-4082-b23a-d6f6424aaa75">Re:Got another RSVP today...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Got another RSVP today...: She's a friend and I don't know her. My sister does and said she's not the nicest and some other stuff
Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]

<div>Not that it mattered I was jc if you even knew her. Definitely call. He was in the wrong, so you aren't doing anything wrong by setting him straight. It may feel awkward but it will save you a headache later on. The more people you tell no, the easier it will get. You really can't make any exceptions unless someone starts dating a new bf/gf after invitations go out. Good luck, you can do it!</div><div>
</div><div>ETA: Glad you liked the wording. Sometimes I just think it's easier when you are nervous to have something set in stone to say, it makes you even more firm in your decision and it will come across that way to him, too. </div>

midgetthemighty · March 2012

Mel, your friend tried to plus one a couple? That's strange.

I agree with others. Just be ready for the possibility that this is a girlfriend, but don't put the idea in his head. Know what I mean?

eltar08 · March 2012

Zim, when did you send your invites out? TK said to do it 3 months prior to the wedding date, but on the Etiquette Board they'll yell at you if you go any further out than 8 weeks prior...just curious. Thanks!

Zimsgirl · March 2012

In Response to Re:Got another RSVP today...:[QUOTE]Zim, when did you send your invites out?nbsp; TK said to do it 3 months prior to the wedding date, but on the Etiquette Board they'll yell at you if you go any further out than 8 weeks prior...just curious.nbsp; Thanks! Posted by eltar08[/QUOTE]
I sent them out last Monday so 2.5 months. We're doing plated dinners so we need a final head count, escort cards, etc. due date is may 2

Just texted him. Will let you know what he says

Zimsgirl · March 2012

I texted him what megbo suggested and he said not a problem at all. Whew

michellep1 · March 2012

I feel like I'm going to have this problem too. I was at dinner with a group of family last night and my aunt mentioned something about my cousin maybe dating someone new and then said "he just might have a date to the wedding". This cousin has never, to my knowledge, had a gf, so I wasn't inviting him with a plus-one because we're already about 30 ppl invited over our ballroom's capacity. I'm hoping he gets the hint when it doesn't say "and guest" next to his invitation.

I'm all for telling people they can't bring plus-ones, but when it comes down to it, I don't want to do it either!!! I'm glad it worked out for you though!

melntaitt · March 2012

@Midge: yeah that was super weird to me too. But I'm also not a wedding planning pro so I didn't know how weird to guage it. I was just a bit ticked she thought that would work...

Megbo2012 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_got-another-rsvp-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:8a9203b3-e7ca-4d8e-95a9-eabbde5e11ffPost:5a023422-a138-48b4-82d8-f7e82f0738f9">Re:Got another RSVP today...</a>:
[QUOTE]I texted him what megbo suggested and he said not a problem at all. Whew
Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]

<div>Nice, crisis averted!</div>

Got another RSVP today...

Re: Got another RSVP today...

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