Family all around the world - location? Engagement Party? Wedding Party? Help!!!

Re: Family all around the world - location? Engagement Party? Wedding Party? Help!!!

• trix1223 member

  

  September 2010

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_family-around-world-location-engagement-party-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:7f842a6c-9b31-477e-880a-ea6ebd0d26d1Post:44934004-8295-4e19-ac87-585c2d06cdd0">Family all around the world - location? Engagement Party? Wedding Party? Help!!!</a>:
  [QUOTE]I wasn't sure were to post this because its a mixture of different questions. I got engaged three months ago and my fiance and I have set a tentative date for sometime summer 2012. The only problem is that my family lives in Kentucky, his family lives in Poland, and we live in Scotland. We were talking for a while about having one big wedding in Scotland but he has a huge family and alot of expensive Polish wedding traditions, so we ruled that out as to expensive. Instead we have decided to have a big engagement party in Kentucky and the wedding in Poland. I know the forum boards say you should only invite people to the engagement party if you are inviting them to the wedding, but I want to invite alot of people since I know I won't get to see them at my wedding in Poland, so if your wedding is in another country does that rule apply? How long after your engaged is too long to have an engagement party, because since this engagement party is almost my US subsitute for wedding I wanted to have it soon before my Polish wedding so that would be probably around july of 2010 which is a while off. Is there such a thing as a wedding party that you have before a wedding but its not an engagement party? I would love to hear from anyone who may have been in a similar situation, any ideas or thoughts would be great! Cheers and Best Wishes
  Posted by ahoffman01[/QUOTE]
  
  My answer to the same question you posted on the CC board:
  Sorry, but I just don't think that etiquette changes just because you live in a different country.  Prewedding parties are not at all requirements to get married.  But what is a requirement is that anyone invited to a prewedding party should also be invited to the wedding.
  
  IMO, you invite those you want to attend your wedding to the wedding.  If they can't come, for whatever reason:  prior commitment, expense, fear of traveling, etc. they can't come.  That's their decision that you don't get to make for them.
  
  And you have to realize that the decisions you make come with consequences.  And one of the things about being an adult is living with the consequences of your decision.  It's your decision, and it's a fine one, to get married in Poland.
  
  One of the consequences of that decision is that, clearly, you won't have as big a guest list as you might if the wedding was in Kentucky.
  
  But throwing a "prewedding" which is really what you're doing is just inappropriate all around.
  
  Sorry. 

  "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146

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