Need to vent

themrsJRD · August 2011

Well, we are going on what is supposed to be a scouting trip in October, less than 2 months away, but honestly I'm considering just getting married then instead of next year!!! I've hardly done any planning at all & haven't put down deposits but I'm just getting really annoyed with people & thinking it's not even worth it to have a bunch of people fly out there & pay the money to do everything (food, drink, entertainment, etc.). I don't know, maybe I'm just in a bad mood but it seems like it'd be so much easier for it to be just us. My sister is meeting us there so we'd even have a witness, lol. I'm sure some people would be hurt initially but they'll get over it. I would think the secret is people being less offended is to tell NO ONE until after it happens lol. & additionally then we could spend our whole tax refund on a badass honeymoon next year instead of having to use it for the wedding & save even more.

Is there anyone on the board or does anyone know anyone who has straight up eloped to Vegas & how was their experience? When I first started looking I loved the idea of the gondola wedding at the Venetian but it wasn't possible because of guest count... & is it even feasible to get a dress, rings, & all before we go out there? I'm talking 58 days away here.

vegasgroom · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_need-vent-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:90758dac-296e-4c5e-b120-80e14efa3855Post:609616ea-9811-4b6f-b115-678ea2863f0e">Need to vent</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, we are going on what is supposed to be a scouting trip in October, less than 2 months away, but honestly I'm considering just getting married then instead of next year!!! I've hardly done any planning at all & haven't put down deposits but I'm just getting really annoyed with people & thinking it's not even worth it to have a bunch of people fly out there & pay the money to do everything (food, drink, entertainment, etc.). I don't know, maybe I'm just in a bad mood but it seems like it'd be so much easier for it to be just us. My sister is meeting us there so we'd even have a witness, lol. I'm sure some people would be hurt initially but they'll get over it. I would think the secret is people being less offended is to tell NO ONE until after it happens lol. & additionally then we could spend our whole tax refund on a badass honeymoon next year instead of having to use it for the wedding & save even more. Is there anyone on the board or does anyone know anyone who has straight up eloped to Vegas & how was their experience? When I first started looking I loved the idea of the gondola wedding at the Venetian but it wasn't possible because of guest count... & is it even feasible to get a dress, rings, & all before we go out there? I'm talking 58 days away here.
Posted by themrsJRD[/QUOTE]

There were definitely days during the planning process that eloping would have definitely been preferred; I think that thought crosses anyone's mind while doing wedding planning.. I don't think my family would have cared either way; they'd have been happy, but my friends would have killed me for not having a huge party lol.

You can get everything you'd need to get done done before October if you want to go that route; it just takes a week or two to wrap up all those details, the dress is the only thing that would probably be difficult. I assume you'd have to find something that is very close to fitting off the rack at a wedding store since you don't have the months of time you'd normally need to go through the ordering/alteration process.

MNVegas · August 2011

Sure you can do it! Just make sure it is really what you want. You might consider letting parents/siblings know. That is what we did. We told immediate family and let them know we just prefered a small, intimate ceremony in Vegas. In other words, free of family drama. My sister & her H came with us. My mom was a little upset, but hey we had the wedding we wanted, not what everyone else wanted.

No matter what you decide, be happy!

wiwicaty · August 2011

I'm sorry I'm not helpful 'cause I don't know anyone who eloped and our planning has been so "happy" all around that we never considered eloping... that said, I think it's totally possible under a strictly practical point of you! I also think that if you choose this route you'd have to keep your expectations a little low to make it happen. I mean, you'll probably have to compromise on having your dream dress or dream details etc. 'casue time isn't too much on your side anymore. (Sorry, I really don't mean to be a Debby Downer here!) I would have had a really hard time letting go of things like the dress or the venue ... although, you sound like that would be the lesser of two evils so it's ultimatey up to putting your options on a scale. On a side note, I think it's very romantic

themrsJRD · August 2011

Thanks to y'all for your input... we are discussing it more in depth tonight. wiwcaty, I agree about lowering expectations, luckily the huge wedding just isn't really what I want anymore & I'm not too worried about a dress/flowers/food etc. I'm sure I can find something. I just feel like in our case, the more out of hand it gets with guests & money & all the decisions/worrying about other people we will end up losing sight of what the day is actually for, which is us promising to spend our lives together for better or worse. & that's what's most important to me.

MNVegas, I'm glad you mentioned telling parents/siblings about it... I didn't know what the best way to handle it was & I guess it probably would be more considerate to tell them. Should we tell them as soon as we decide & make it official? Or wait until it's closer? I just don't want them telling a bunch of other people about it before it happens & more people get upset about being left out.

wallacje · August 2011

You definitely have time to have the Vegas wedding you want in 2 months, I'm sure people have done it in less time. You should be able to find a dress that fits or close to fits in that amount of time and have it altered, not sure you would have to lower all of your expectations to have the day you want.

If going this route is going to be less stressful for you in the long run, then go for it. Like previously mentioned, let your closest people know, they still have time to attend if they want to and go from there.

Wiwi is right about some of the key times possibly being taken but even if you are planning for something a year from now the odds of everything going just as planned you could still have some issue there. I don't think of that as the "Debbie downer," but bringing up some of the realities that exist.

Talk it over with you FI and see what's available and go from there.

Happy Planning!!!

ebonyivory10 · August 2011

Sorry to hear about your stress. I think you can do it if you want, but you'd better get the ball rolling

Maybe you'll get lucky and find a dress off the rack. If it helps, you should check out this website: http://www.jvljewelry.com/ promo code: BRIDES for free wedding bands, you only pay for shipping. (If the promo is still going)

The gondola wedding at the Venetian sounds nice and romantic, you could also get married at Paris at the Eiffel Tower. For just the two of you, your options are endless! Good luck

paigethomason · August 2011

I am totally feeling the same way as you! The place I am going to go look at dresses is having a sample sale and I can take the dress that day & then get it altered! I'm hoping to find something!

MarryingmyKnight · August 2011

I think if you want to elope and not tell anyone until you get back then you should do it. Life is short and you should do what makes you happy. Planning can be stressful and if eloping is what you really want and what is going to make you happy then do it. The people that love you will still love you if you elope. I guess I'm a romatic. Oh and I am going through a selfish phase in my life so I am doing what makes me happy. Anyways; Happy Planing!

MNVegas · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_need-vent-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:90758dac-296e-4c5e-b120-80e14efa3855Post:03f21cfe-f40d-4170-8fb2-aaa9be1f46db">Re: Need to vent</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks to y'all for your input... we are discussing it more in depth tonight. wiwcaty, I agree about lowering expectations, luckily the huge wedding just isn't really what I want anymore & I'm not too worried about a dress/flowers/food etc. I'm sure I can find something. I just feel like in our case, the more out of hand it gets with guests & money & all the decisions/worrying about other people we will end up losing sight of what the day is actually for, which is us promising to spend our lives together for better or worse. & that's what's most important to me. MNVegas, I'm glad you mentioned telling parents/siblings about it... I didn't know what the best way to handle it was & I guess it probably would be more considerate to tell them. Should we tell them as soon as we decide & make it official? Or wait until it's closer? I just don't want them telling a bunch of other people about it before it happens & more people get upset about being left out.
Posted by themrsJRD[/QUOTE]

We were engaged a Christmas morning and went to dinner at my sister's house the next evening. We told my family at that time (so about 6 months) and made it quite clear we were not going to change our minds. My mother tried, but we dug in our heels because we really wanted out little Vegas wedding. DH did not tell his mother until after we got married because she is crazy and would have probably faked a heart attack ahead of time to disrupt the wedding.

Since it will only be the two of you, is there anyway you could do a weekday wedding. We were married on a Wednesday and were able to get whoever we wanted.

alleria · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_need-vent-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:90758dac-296e-4c5e-b120-80e14efa3855Post:609616ea-9811-4b6f-b115-678ea2863f0e">Need to vent</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, we are going on what is supposed to be a scouting trip in October, less than 2 months away, but honestly I'm considering just getting married then instead of next year!!! I've hardly done any planning at all & haven't put down deposits but I'm just getting really annoyed with people & thinking it's not even worth it to have a bunch of people fly out there & pay the money to do everything (food, drink, entertainment, etc.). I don't know, maybe I'm just in a bad mood but it seems like it'd be so much easier for it to be just us. My sister is meeting us there so we'd even have a witness, lol. I'm sure some people would be hurt initially but they'll get over it. I would think the secret is people being less offended is to tell NO ONE until after it happens lol. & additionally then we could spend our whole tax refund on a badass honeymoon next year instead of having to use it for the wedding & save even more. Is there anyone on the board or does anyone know anyone who has straight up eloped to Vegas & how was their experience? When I first started looking I loved the idea of the gondola wedding at the Venetian but it wasn't possible because of guest count... & is it even feasible to get a dress, rings, & all before we go out there? I'm talking 58 days away here.
Posted by themrsJRD[/QUOTE]

I feel ya. It was supposed to be just us too and then people found out so we had to totally change our plans. Save money and be stressed paying for this. There are some days I wish we'd have been more careful about what we said to who, but in the end I'm sure it will all be worth it.

themrsJRD · August 2011

MNVegas, we are going out there on Wednesday night & are currently scheduled to come back Saturday, but if this all goes through then I may push it back to Monday to enjoy a little more time. We could try for a Friday wedding or maybe even Thursday. We talked about it a bit more & he wants to talk to his mom so I'm hoping he does that soon. I think if we do decide to do it, we will tell our parents only right away, so that if they do want to make the trip they'll have the opportunity to. I know that's not exactly eloping but I don't mind our parents being there if they can. It's all the other people!! Lol.

Alleria, that's a bummer. That's more or less our situation & why I feel like if we do this quickly then we can aviod word spreading. A few weeks ago his grandma was talking about the people she was basically inviting to the wedding (that we weren't planning on inviting) & that was pretty much the last straw. I don't understand why people think they can do that stuff, it's not their business!!

themrsJRD · August 2011

And I just want to say thanks to everyone for your input... you make me feel better about the way I'm feeling!!! :-)

AJF021410 · August 2011

You should do what makes the 2 of you happy, and not what pleases everyone else. You can absolutely plan the wedding you want in this short of time because since it's just the 2 of you, you can do it any day and any time you want. People have great experiences with eloping. Just make sure it's what you would have wanted in the long run because you can't re-do it

smokeybailey · August 2011

I wouldn't decide to elope just because you are annoyed right now. Do it because it is what you WANT to do and it is what you want to look back on and say, wow, that was a good time.

I think I am blessed because the only stress I have had was that FI's dad and my grandma are both in poor health and cannot join us. Other than that, it's been easy and truly stress free.

You can totally do a small wedding. Are you not able to tell your friends and family, THIS is my guest list and THIS is the plan. If you don't like it, bite me. ? Also, don't give out the dates to busybodies. Wait until the requisite 6 weeks out to tell them.

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