Need help with ideas for father daughter dance

Re: Need help with ideas for father daughter dance

• smithmonica member

  

  May 2012

  I am 32 and have not seen my half sister since I was 9. She came into my life again August of last year. I asked her to be a bridesmaid in my wedding because I thought it would be the sisterly thing to do. We recently had a falling out about the wedding because she was trying to put more than her 2 cents in about everything, she was everything but supportive, and we are nothing alike. She also lives out of state.  We havent spoken in almost 2 months. I am at a point where Im not sure if I want her to be a part of the wedding and Im starting to see how difficult it could be to do things over the phone until she makes it out the evening before the wedding. She will not be able to be a part of rehearsal, bachelorette party, nothing. I dont know what I should do, I know its rude to uninvite someone in the wedding party, but she is making this a headache for me..Please help to ease things.

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• right1thistime member

  

  May 2012

  Asking people to be part of your wedding is not a way to repair long standing rifts in family relationships.  Invariably, it causes the problems and anxieties that you describe. 
  
  Your wedding is more than a year away, you do not need to invite a bridal party until 6-8 months in advance of the wedding.  If you have already asked her, just let it be.  If you two don't speak again in the ensuing months, I think its safe to presume she is not going to be a bridesmaid.  If you do speak, then you will have to decie what is more important to you, trying to sustain a relationship with her or eliminating hassles in your weddng planning.  Either way, stop talking to her about the wedding.  If she brings it up, just say, "thanks for the ideas, we'll think about it."  No matter what, that's your answer.  Flying trapeze entrance in leotards & tutus?  We'll think about it.  Zen chanting instead of a dj?  We'll think about it.  Organic, vegetarian, raw foods for the menu?  We'll think about it.  Then change the subject.  If she presses you, just repeat, we'll think about it. 
  
  My cousin's daughter was raised in her grandparent's home by her mother, she was very close with her grandfather.  She had a relationship with her biodad and her mother's significant other.     She danced a dance with each of them.   She walked down the aisle alone, and her mother & SO, biodad & his wife and her grandparents all answered the who giveth question together.   Another tactic is to skip it all.  No escort, no giveth away, no parent dances.  ~Donna

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• smithmonica member

  

  May 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_need-help-with-ideas-for-father-daughter-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:4049dd62-816c-4b99-9f8c-2a7befb84421Post:e4b18d6a-f8b3-4c0c-8a2b-95323c302dc1">Re: Need help with ideas for father daughter dance</a>:
  [QUOTE]Asking people to be part of your wedding is not a way to repair long standing rifts in family relationships.  Invariably, it causes the problems and anxieties that you describe.  Your wedding is more than a year away, you do not need to invite a bridal party until 6-8 months in advance of the wedding.  If you have already asked her, just let it be.  If you two don't speak again in the ensuing months, I think its safe to presume she is not going to be a bridesmaid.  If you do speak, then you will have to decie what is more important to you, trying to sustain a relationship with her or eliminating hassles in your weddng planning.  Either way, stop talking to her about the wedding.  If she brings it up, just say, "thanks for the ideas, we 'll think about it."  No matter what, that's your answer.  Flying trapeze entrance in leotards & tutus?  We'll think about it.  Zen chanting instead of a dj?  We'll think about it.  Organic, vegetarian, raw foods for the menu?  We'll think about it.  Then change the subject.  If she presses you, just repeat, we'll think about it.  My cousin's daughter was raised in her grandparent's home by her mother, she was very close with her grandfather.  She had a relationship with her biodad and her mother's significant other.     She danced a dance with each of them.   She walked down the aisle alone, and her mother & SO, biodad & his wife and her grandparents all answered the who giveth question together.   Another tactic is to skip it all.  No escort, no giveth away, no parent dances.  ~Donna
  Posted by right1thistime[/QUOTE]
  
  
  Thank you so much for some in-sight to all this, i really appreciate any help to make this  as smooth as possible.

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