Pre Cana

LiLgEe · May 2011

What is invovled with doing Pre Cana? Our church requires this!

bibliophile2010 · May 2011

Pre-Cana varies greatly from parish-to-parish and diocese to diocese.

In most cases there will be one or more meetings with your priest. The majority of ladies here have (had) to complete a married life skills class, such as weekly Pre-Cana classes for a period of several weeks, meetings with a married mentor couple, or an Engaged Encounter weekend.

I think most, but certainly not all of us, have also had to take the FOCCUS assessment, which looks at relationship stuff like communication, attitudes about money, etc.

A few of us live in diocese (or attend parishes) that have more extensive requirements, including NFP classes (which I would highly recommend whether they are manditory or not).

For everyone, you get out of Pre-Cana what you put into it. It can be a tool to really communicate with your FI, to reopen dialogue about touchy subjects, to get away from the stress of wedding planning and everyday life to focus on God and your relationship. It can be a hoop you have to jump through, if that's all you care about, though I really recommend taking each step with an open and prayerful heart. You never know what God might put there along the way, and you want to be prepared to follow it.

Best of luck and welcome! We love chatting and answering any questions that you might have!

[Deleted User] · May 2011

Pre-Cana and what it entails definitely varies from dioceses to dioceses and even priest to priest.

We were married in our home state of Ohio, but lived in GA. We not only had to meet the requirements here in GA (where we did our marriage prep) but also for our priest in Ohio. The requirements here in GA are pretty lax compared to Ohio. We met with the priest here a few times, gave him all the paperwork such as baptismal certificates, etc. We also had to fill out some paperwork for the dioceses here. Our priest here was in correspondance with our priest in Ohio as to whatever else he required.

We were required by our priest in Ohio to attend an EE Weekend, which we did. We got our certificate and our priest here mailed all the necessary paperwork to our priest in Ohio that married us. We also took the FOCCUS test here in GA with our priest.

mica178 · May 2011

I did Engaged Encounter for our marriage prep. It was a weekend of talking about communication, decision making, and other issues that are common problems for married people. We did not cover NFP during EE, and FOCCUS was done at a separate time. I thought it was worthwhile because H and I tried to put a lot into it so that we could get the most out of it.

aimers1525 · May 2011

The pp's give good information on options, and certainly varies based on diocese/church. I live in Chicago and our church did not require us to complete the FOCCUS, and gave us three options for pre-cana: one full day session on a Saturday w/about thirty other couples; an engaged encounter weekend, or four sessions w/a married couple and 2-3 other engaged couples. We chose the option that worked best for us. In addition, we met three times w/our pastor for about an hour at a time. One of those times was going through the ceremony.

If you are given options, I would just chose what works best for you and your FI. I will say that my FI was dreading the pre-cana and he was surprised about how helpful some of the excercises/talks were. It really got him to open up a communicate w/me in a different way. GL!

newlyseliski · May 2011

Ditto what all the other ladies said! It might be helpful to ask the ladies on your local board to see what your diocese requires or what their pre-cana may have been like if it's more of a diocesan thing for you. Our prep was pretty comprehensive and my specific parish had us take a FOCCUS inventory, meet with our deacon, meet with a mentor couple and take NFP classes in addition to our more general diocesan pre cana weekend retreat.

rombacja · May 2011

We had to do a PREPARE inventory which I believe is similar to the FOCCUS. We also had to do an 8 hour seminar with other engaged couples in the Chicago area which lacked depth, but then we had 2 sessions with a married couple from our parish which was really beneficial. I think most imporantly, just keep a positive attitude about the entire thing and try to get as much out of it as you can. FI and I definitely learned a few things in the process!

Davesgrl2011 · May 2011

My pre-cana class was eight hours over one day, and then we have to do a FOCUS with the priest.

Basically we covered 8 issues married people encounter. Things like budgeting, living together, household stuff- pretty basic and stuff my FI and I had already talked about. We also had a work book to work from. The day went like this: 15 minutes working with FI on workbook (usually surveys or how well do you know each other). 15-30 minutes listening to a couple talk about that subject (large group). 10 minute break or priest talking to us (large group). Next subject.

Talking about family planning and birth control was only one topic- it wasn't what pre-cana was all about. Unfortunately we had a couple there talking to us about NFP who had 8 kids so maybe not the best representitive of NFP!

At the end the priest talked to us about how things may get tough but by praying together, crying together, and working at our relationships we will make them work. Nice!

And then a kind of cheesy vow taking that made me squirm a little.

It was a long day, and parts of it were nice, most of if my FI and I had already talked about. It was nice to be in a room with other engaged people talking about stuff.

Funny story- at the beginning of Pre-Cana us ladies had our FI introduce the two of us as a couple. The first guy goes "My name is Mike, and this is my fiance, Elizabeth."
Problem? Her name was Karen.
Not kiddiing!!

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