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Re: No

  • What duties are you referring to? BM's have no duties, other than showing up.

    This is what you do, you do not replace either of them, you let the little girl keep her dress and you say to your BM (who I am assuming is a close friend of yours) 'I am sorry you wont be able to make it to the wedding, thank you for your support and friendship, I bought this gift for you, to thank you for being my friend' and you let it go.


  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_major-wedding-party-problems-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e0ad9187-e2f5-489f-bf47-c58d55e0ab21Post:8708cc0c-4131-4bb5-88ab-c62407a0147c">Major Wedding Party Problems. Please Help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi everyone. I really need some advice. My "friend" and bridesmaid sent me a text on Monday. <strong>She's pulling herself and her daughter, my flower girl, out of my wedding</strong>. I'm getting married in 10 days. I'm not sure how anyone could do tihs to someone so close to the day. However, I suppose I should've seen it coming. <strong>She has been skimping on her bridesmaid duties</strong> ever since <strong>she became friends (and lovers which I just recently found out) with this guy who is a total douchebag</strong>. Anyways, we're trying to scurry and at least get a replacement flower girl since I'm the one who paid to have the dress made from scratch by a friend of ours. Granted, i hate the idea of taking the dress from her daughter because she was so excited about it.  Since it is only 10 days out, I obviously already have her bridesmaid gift. I can't just give it to someone else because I planned all of their gifts specifically to them. She loves Alice in Wonderland, so I got her a bunch of Alice in Wonderland stuff. I lost my receipts and I bought them all online from etsy.com sellers. What should I do with her gift? Should I just give it to her anyways or what? Any advice would be great. 
    Posted by cathyandbenforever1[/QUOTE]

    Judgmental much?  I'd say she's pissed if she is willing to not only take herself out but yank her daughter also.  It is absolutely none of your business who she is dating or what she is doing with him.  My gut instinct is that you made some comments about your opinion and if this is the case, you owe her an apology.

    Oh - and I have no idea what bridesmaid duties you think she has been skimping on because every single one of them except buying the dress (which is sounds like she's done) would take place on your wedding day ten days from now.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_major-wedding-party-problems-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e0ad9187-e2f5-489f-bf47-c58d55e0ab21Post:8708cc0c-4131-4bb5-88ab-c62407a0147c">Major Wedding Party Problems. Please Help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi everyone. I really need some advice. My "friend" and bridesmaid sent me a text on Monday. She's pulling herself and her daughter, my flower girl, out of my wedding. I'm getting married in 10 days. I'm not sure how anyone could do tihs to someone so close to the day. However, I suppose I should've seen it coming. <strong>She has been skimping on her bridesmaid duties</strong> ever since she became friends (and lovers which I just recently found out) with this guy <strong>who is a total douchebag</strong>. Anyways, we're trying to scurry and <strong>at least get a replacement flower girl</strong> since I'm the one who paid to have the dress made from scratch by a friend of ours. Granted, i hate the idea of taking the dress from her daughter because she was so excited about it.  Since it is only 10 days out, I obviously already have her bridesmaid gift. I can't just give it to someone else because I planned all of their gifts specifically to them. She loves Alice in Wonderland, so I got her a bunch of Alice in Wonderland stuff. I lost my receipts and I bought them all online from etsy.com sellers. What should I do with her gift? Should I just give it to her anyways or what? Any advice would be great. 
    Posted by cathyandbenforever1[/QUOTE]

    What duties do you think she has?

    Maybe you thinking her new love interest is a douchebag might be the reason she pulled out.  Did you come out and tell her what you thought of this guy?  Being a friend means supporting her and her decisions, but that does not mean you necessarily have to like all of her decisions so you can think whatever you want of her new love interest but to come right out and tell her what you think of him may have crossed the line.

    You don't replace either her or the flower girl.  That would be rude and hurtful, especially to the innocent flower girl who really had no say in her removal from the wedding.

  • Calling in a replacement ten days out from the wedding would make you a straight up awful person.  If you don't care about the huge and probably unforgivable insult to your friend, it's also massively insulting to whomever you get to stand in as a warm body, since you clearly don't care about them as a person and didn't want them in the wedding in the first place.  The fact that you would pay this insult to CHILDREN says quite a bit about your character.

    Leave things as they are, and maybe take a good look at why your relationships have come to this point.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • *Headdesk*

     

  • And the DD after you've been quoted.  Why do people never seem to understand that?
  • Yeah....unless her "lover" is your fiancee I'm really not sure why you have such a problem with it. 
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