Engagement Ring/Christmas Gift Question

Re: Engagement Ring/Christmas Gift Question

• PandaBurr member

  

  December 2009 edited December 2011

  I agree with your boyfriend on this one. He doesn't have to get you anything for Christmas, and it's pretty obnoxious of you to expect something and demand a present. Perhaps he doesn't have room in his budget to get you a ring and a present? Or maybe he just plain didn't want to spend frivilously like that. Either way, it's his money and he can do what he wants with it.

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• Ana_2985 member

  

  December 2009 edited December 2011

  IMO, yes.  You are making a big deal out of it and to be honest you sound a little selfish.
  
  My BF proposed in November and I got a beautiful ring.  When he asked me what I wanted for Christmas I told him I really didn't need anything else.  I didn't want him to have to worry about not being able to get his family nice gifts because he had to buy me a ring and Christmas presents.  Maybe he is thinking along these lines.
  
  Be happy that your BF wants to marry you and wants to make the proposal special.

  

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• skichica622

  

  December 2009 edited December 2011

  Logically I agree with PPs, but I can imagine it would have been kind of an awkward situation Christmas morning! I mean there he is, opening the presents, and you're all happy and hoping for it and then you get nothing at all?
  
  I feel like maybe if he told you beforehand it would be different. Like "hey btw I'm planning something superspecial for the proposal, so you'll have to wait a little bit, and I don't have the funds for any more presents." Otherwise I think it's kinda cruel! Tonight's NYE though, so maybe he'll do something special tonight!
  

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• Ana_2985 member

  

  December 2009 edited December 2011

  Good point ski- it is kind of shiity if he didn't discuss it with you first.
  
  But I still think it's kind of selfish to expect a gift knowing that he already spent money on something for you. 
  

  

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• chosen175 member

  

  December 2009 edited December 2011

  If you have always traditionally exchanged gifts for Christmas and he just didn't get you anything, I can see how you'd be upset.  My FI proposed last Christmas and even though I got my ring, he still gave me a dvd that I wanted, and some Bath & Body Works spritz stuff.  It was an extra $20 but $20 wasn't really a big deal to him. He said he wanted me to have Christmas seperate from the proposal... which I thought was thoughtful of him.
  
  If you plan on marrying this person, you need to be able to talk to him when he hurts your feelings.  If your proposal doesn't come within a few weeks of Christmas, I don't see how he can expect the e-ring to count as your Christmas gift.  So talk to him.  Tell him it's not about the gift, but rather that he made a promise that he didn't keep.  See what he says.

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• kismo member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  this reminds me of the song...."it's my party and I'll cry if I want to...." be happy he is marrying you and bought you a ring.....isn't that enough? Christmas isn't about the presents ya knoooow :-) be Happy you're loved!

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• jeanacorina

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  I can totally understand how that would be awkward and be disappointing, but Christmas isn't about receiving presents. Maybe it sucks, but you're a big girl, you need to suck it up.
  
  Maybe he spent all the money he had to buy your ring. He probably should have told you that ahead of time to avoid being awkward. But really, you're going to be marrying this guy. You should be thrilled. And if it bothers you that much, you should be able to be open and honest with him about it.

  

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• kailss

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  yeah it is kind of sh!tty that he didnt say anything to you about it beforehand. but at the same time, i do think you're making too big of a deal out of this. he spent a lot of money on that ring and he wants to marry you. you are loved. that in itself is a great gift.

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• MattsAnnie member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  I agree with everyone. I can see being a little disapointed because you thought you were going to get your ring. But he probably has a great plan to get it to you. While he could have gotten something little for you to open, guys dont always think like we do. Like everyone said Christmas isnt abou the gifts its about remembering what and who we have around us already. Cant wait to hear about the upcoming proposal!

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• dianna609 member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Honey, I got a $100 promise ring for Christmas (and that's it). I also got a very sweet (and confusing) proposal, but I'm 29 and I got a promise ring. Be glad you know what you're getting. So you don't know exactly when. It could be a memorable proposal. Forget about the ring and focus on the man.

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