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My second, his first...

VQZ600VQZ600 member
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in Second Weddings

My ex and I have been apart since Jan '10 and the divorce decree is so close I can taste it (takes forever!).  I was married for 16 years, and finally met the man of my dreams.  The first time around, I eloped - so no wedding.  This time around, I want a real wedding.  My new beau and I have been living together since last summer and started out as great friends, and it just blossomed from there.  Because of the divorce, my mother (and her mother) "disowned" me, but my relationship with my children, and even my ex is pretty great.  My father is neither critical, nor supportive.

So that is the background -  My new man has never been married, no kids, never been in love before and we are completely in love.  His family is wonderful and supportive and I plan to include them in the final planning.  We are holding off on getting engaged until the devorce is final, but everyone knows it is inevitable.  We (together) have already started planning the wedding - chosen a location, shopped around for string quartets, chosen a bridesmaid, chosen the caterer and the baker, formulated the bulk of the guest list and planned the seating.  My daughter has even agreed to be a bridesmaid.

Our wedding is definately on a tight budget, and the cost will determine our actual wedding date.  We are hoping for a fall wedding (Sept) but have both agreed to be flexible to make sure it is as nice a ceremony as we both hope for.  While we are on a budget, we want everything to be nice and don't want it to seem to our guests that we did things "on the cheap".  We are inviting about 100 people.  I am hoping for some suggestions from brides on what we can do ourselves to save money and what we should absolutely NOT skimp on.  For instance, as a classically trained musician, the ceremony music can't be a DJ or tape...real instruments (quartet, trio, harp?).  

Thanks!



  

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Re: My second, his first...

  • awayagainawayagain member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    With the choices available these days, printing your own invitations is a great way to save money.  I purchased my invitations at Tuesday Morning for $30.00, picked a nice font, and saved a bundle!
    Also, if you go for a veil, check e-bay.  Bridal stores want a small fortune for a piece of tulle, it's ridiculous.
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  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    If you were legally married you had a wedding - just not a huge formal affair.  It was a real wedding none the less.   It's offensive to many of the brides on this board to state that an elopement or a private ceremony or a JoP ceremony was not a real wedding - because if you ended up married at the end of the day it was real and a wedding - and some here actually choose to be married in that way.  Hopping of soap box now...

    Congratulations on almost being engaged (I remember that feeling). 

    First set a budget, and stick to it.  If there is something that is critical that is where you splurge and the critical items needed to be decided on first, and then the remainder are things that either you don't need or won't be missed.

    As far as how to do things on a budget it depends on how many DIY projects you have time for, and are crafty enough to do.  Some on this board tackled things like silk floral arrangements, some are making their own wedding gown, some created their own centerpieces, some printed their own Save the Dates, Invitations, Programs and Escort cards - so the DIY part is totally up to you.

    You can save money on having a heavy appetizer reception with cocktails and cake; or you can do the whole 9 yards but instead of the hor d'oeuver buffet, have them passed (you only pay for the pieces brought out and consumed). Keep your catering menu sane by offering one meat entree and one vegetarian entree. If kids under 12 will be present you can also see if your caterer offers a kids meal.  You can opt to have a no host bar, or hosted but only for the cocktail hour or don't have a bar per se and serve beer, wine and non-alcoholic beverages.  To save on the cake you can opt to have a small display cake and have a sheet cake in the back that is cut and served to your guests.  If cake isn't your thing there are a lot of options out there and some (many) are less than the $3.00 and up per slice of cake.

    The other big thing is don't fall for all the wedding porn and what the industry tells you , you should have or need to have.
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  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Awayagain - I got my veil for $33.00 including shipping (EBay it was $60.00 not including shipping) on Occansey Designs.  I should be getting it this week will let you know how it looks.
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  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011

    Welcome VQZ600 ! Congrats on finding the perfect guy for you.


    This board is full of great brides, some already married, some planning weddings (like me).

    "We are inviting about 100 people.  I am hoping for some suggestions from brides on what we can do ourselves to save money and what we should absolutely NOT skimp on.  For instance, as a classically trained musician, the ceremony music can't be a DJ or tape...real instruments (quartet, trio, harp?). "


    I am doing a ton of DIY stuff, just because I love it, and can save money. Some of it is "wedding porn" or "fluff", but this is my first marriage, my fiance's 3rd.  We are also having about 100 people. I'll save you any suggestions on the vendors, because it sounds like you have most of them sewn up already. If you haven't contracted with them yet, however, I'd recommend locating a catering service through a gourmet store, which we did. Costing less than a formal "caterer" service, as they are already ordering fabulous foods to SELL, and they don't make all their money on catering functions.

    Check out my bio (link below) for some of the pics. Also, use your local board and the DIY or budget boards for additional input/info. Just don't ask if they like something you've posted a pic of, because many of them are honest, even snarky, to a fault.

    You'd be surprised what you can do with paper, glue, other craft items, and a home printer, LOL.


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  • awayagainawayagain member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    MikesAngie, that's a great price!  When I looked at the bridal store, they were well into the hundreds.  I got mine for $9.99 on ebay and layered it with a little jeweled band from Michael's
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  • VQZ600VQZ600 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I found a dress I like on eBay...custom from China.  They agreed to do a matching veil for free!
    Trying to Conceive Ticker
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  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    VQZ600 - I would use caution with purchasing a gown on the internet.  A lot of brides end up with something that doesn't resemble the picture at all.   You will have to let us know how the gown comes in and how it looks.

    Jay's Bridal our of FL also does free veil and sometimes free shoes as well and they are a brick and mortar store.
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