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Newly engaged + need ideas! Budget friendly please!

daveANDkristendaveANDkristen member
First Anniversary Combo Breaker 5 Love Its First Comment
in Missouri-St Louis

Hello everyone!  I just got engaged on Sunday night and I'm already feeling a little overwhelmed thinking of all that needs to be done!  I know a lot of the details can wait, I just mainly want to get venues booked as soon as I can.  A few details:

Ceremony - My Fi is Catholic, I am not particularly religious but open to a church ceremony, and it's very important to him to get married in a Catholic church.  Any recommendations for a (preferably beautiful) Catholic church that will marry us even though only one of us is Catholic and we're nonmembers would be appreciated!

Reception - I am looking for something relatively low cost - I'd rather not go VFW, Community Center, etc. but open to ideas if you know a nice place.  I'm not all that traditional when it comes to weddings so I'm open to the most "out-there" of ideas!  One of the biggest things I'm worried about is catering costs, so it would be ideal if the place allows outside catering.  I also have a friend who makes cakes and she will be doing my wedding cake so it's important that I can bring that in as well.  So I guess what I'm looking for is a rental space that is (hopefully) $1,000 or under.

I would love to hear anyone's input - open to all areas in St. Louis, say within 45 minutes of the airport.  I appreciate your time and I'm looking forward to getting started!

Have a great day!

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Re: Newly engaged + need ideas! Budget friendly please!

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    maryandkirk0909maryandkirk0909
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    To get married in the Catholic Church you'll have to go through catechism and do premarital counseling through the Archdiocese.  


    As far as reception venue goes- have you set a date?  Indoor?  Outdoor?  

    Also, fair warning- unless your friend is a professional baker who is bonded, most (99%+) of the venues won't let you use her because of the risk of food contamination.  If you are insistent upon doing something where she can do your cake, you may be better off planning an outdoor park wedding with a pavillion reception or the like.
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    daveANDkristendaveANDkristen member
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    edited December 2011
    Thank you for the information, I will look into that.

    Wedding will probably be sometime May-September of 2012.  Undecided on indoor/outdoor but open to both options.

    Disappointed to hear about the cake issue though.  Surely I'm not the only one who has a baker-friend?  To address your question, she does work for a bakery, but this wouldn't be through the bakery, not sure if that matters...

    Thanks again!
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    rachel9652rachel9652 member
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with mary about the cake situation, most places won't let you bring in a cake if it doesn't come from a bakery. I looked into having pies made for my wedding and my reception location wouldn't let me unless they were made by a bakery. 

    I am having my reception location is the Schlafly Tap Room which isn't the typical location. It is smaller so I don't know how many people you are inviting. They don't have a very high minimum like some places. 
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    cgeithmancgeithman member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    How many guests are you thinking? Would you prefer indoor or outdoor reception? 

    A friend of mine recently had her reception at the Touhill on UMSL campus and it was super gorgeous. Her H's aunt did their cake and I don't believe there was any issue bringing the cake in. I wonder if it is an issue, your friend can do a fake cake for show and then you can buy sheet cakes to serve? I don't know. It seems like some places might be flexible about that, and others will be sticklers.  

    Another option as far as the church ceremony is to do something like the Provincial Chapel at UMSL. It's absolutely gorgeous and you could have a religious ceremony with Catholic influences. The same friend from above did this becuase she is Catholic and her fiance is Presbyterian or something. He didn't want to convert, but they still wanted a religious ceremony. It was a good compromise because they could be a bit more flexible with their ceremony. The Old Peace Chapel at Daniel Boone Home is also a gorgeous little chapel, but it only hold about 100 people (if you shove them in). 

    If you had a little better idea about what you are looking for in a reception venue, I'm sure we can help more specifically. St. Louis is chock fulll of cool venues!!
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    fam6fam6
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    A friend of mine is doing our cake and we have not had any problem at all....so don't give up on that idea just yet...wait and see, it might all work out!
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    daveANDkristendaveANDkristen member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Glad to hear the cake thing might work out!  Sorry I keep leaving out so many details... there's so much to consider to find the right space!  Number of guests - I initially thought 75ish, but now that I'm writing down names... looking more like 150 LOL.  I really don't care for Orlando's, Andre's, etc. type places, because I feel like it's too "wedding industry" for my tastes if that makes sense.  My MOH's cousin had her reception in a building in Blanchette Park in St. Charles.  It has low rental fees and I don't think they take any control over catering, etc so that would be an option.  And I love the Schlafly Tap Room too; I need to contact their event planner to find out about costs and stuff.  Still looking though.  Thanks very much for the suggestions!

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    cgeithmancgeithman member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you like a park setting, check out Quail Ridge Park in Wentzville. The lodge is very affordable. I think they have some limitations on the type of alcohol you can serve.

    You might also check into some wineries. Rental fees might be high, but I know Wine Country Gardens in particular would be within your budget. They include everything in their per-person rates, so there's no specific rental fee. It's a really beautiful place too.

    You might also consider someplace like Morgan Street Brewery or Windows on/off Washington. Those are popular places.

    What might be easiest is to figure out your ceremony location first, and then find a reception location close by. There are so many options that might help narrow it down for you.
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    daveANDkristendaveANDkristen member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_missouri-st-louis_newly-engaged-need-ideas-budget-friendly-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:87Discussion:7d2af2c9-4344-4b4f-8c33-5b08644ca581Post:c29fdca4-2bd4-41ed-9602-712bb991438b">Re: Newly engaged + need ideas! Budget friendly please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you like a park setting, check out Quail Ridge Park in Wentzville. The lodge is very affordable. I think they have some limitations on the type of alcohol you can serve. Posted by cgeithman[/QUOTE]

    What a coincidence... I actually just set my sights on this place!  The pictures are gorgeous and I love that we can take care of our own catering/bar without the overhead that comes with so many reception sites.  We've already put a hold on the date because next summer is filling up fast.  Hopefully going to check it out this Saturday (of course I'm sure there will be a wedding going on, so we'll just have to sneak a peak).  But I'm pretty sure this is where I want to have the reception.  I have seen other people on the boards mention alcohol restrictions but I when I called this morning I asked about it and was told there is no regulation of that, so maybe the policy has changed?

    Thanks ladies!
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    cgeithmancgeithman member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That's great news! I've never talked to them myself about the alcohol stuff...it's just what I've heard. It's good if they are more flexible.

    Let us know what else you find!
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    daveANDkristendaveANDkristen member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011

    So FI and I went to check out Quail Ridge Lodge today.  I thought the building and the grounds were really beautiful, and will be even more so at the time of year we are getting married.  There was, as predicted, a reception going on so we couldn't go up to peak inside the building.  I will probably drive out there again when it's time to pay the deposit and hopefully check out the inside on a weekday or something.  I'm so excited to have this almost in the bag!  Now to find a church... :)

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    cgeithmancgeithman member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    You can also contact some photographers and ask to see samples of pictures they've taken at that venue. My friend Lisa owns forever yours images (www.foreveryoursimages.com) and I know she's done several weddings there. I'm sure she'd be happy to show you some pics of the inside if you'd like. Lisa's done my family and kids' pictures for years and we've done them many times at that park since it's close to where I live. Alot of people have their ceremoyn right in front of that gazebo, but it's a perfect spot for picture taking too!

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    gwencortopassigwencortopassi member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Quail Ridge is really lovely.  If you don't have your heart set on a wedding in a church, the gazebo is beautiful, and all you'd have to do is rent chairs for your guests.

    If Quail Ridge falls through for whatever reason (crossing my fingers it doesn't), the Shrewsbury Ballroon (a.k.a. the big room at the Shrewsbury Civic Center) used to be a Catholic chapel for an all-boys Catholic school, so it really has that "churchy" feeling to it.  You could do both ceremony and reception there.  It's a blank slate, so to speak, but you could really put your stamp on it.  They have a PA system that they'll rent to you for next to nothing (and you can plug your iPod directly into it).  They have no caterer preference, and my friends were going to bartend (this was for my SIL's wedding that since taken a back seat to her pregnancy.  Whatever, I still get to throw a shower :)

    I got married and had my reception at the 9th Street Abbey.  There was no rental fee for the room (I think), just a minimum you have to spend on food and booze.  I don't know what your total budget is for catering, but they were worth it.  My pastor performed the ceremony (I'm Lutheran), which I loved!!, and I know people have had Catholic ceremonies there.  Just a thought.  Happy planning!  And I'm crossing my fingers for Quail Ridge :)  You can not put a price on that view!
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    gwencortopassigwencortopassi member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just reread your post and saw that a Catholic wedding in a church is very important to your husband-to-be, so I'm going to retract my recommendations for a gazebo wedding (which would still be really beautiful if you could get a priest out there).  I'm going to have to defer to the Catholic St. Louis Ladies on this one.  After all, it's his wedding too!  Kudos to him for having an opinion--all my husband wanted was Jamieson, filet, and me to show up (and he got all three :)   
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    gwencortopassigwencortopassi member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Last post on this thread, I swear, but I LOVE your ring.  I'm a sapphire girl, so nontraditional stones are my thing.  Beautiful!
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    daveANDkristendaveANDkristen member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_missouri-st-louis_newly-engaged-need-ideas-budget-friendly-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:87Discussion:7d2af2c9-4344-4b4f-8c33-5b08644ca581Post:a47f30b8-59ed-401e-8d05-73ec3e3bcb33">Re: Newly engaged + need ideas! Budget friendly please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Last post on this thread, I swear, but I LOVE your ring.  I'm a sapphire girl, so nontraditional stones are my thing.  Beautiful!
    Posted by gwencortopassi[/QUOTE]

    Thank you for this, and all of the advice!  I need it.  I have two weeks to put down the deposit on Quail Ridge Lodge but I'm pretty dang sure it's the one.  Can't beat that price or the view!
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    Tami87Tami87 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    As for the ceremony part, if you FI wants to get married in the Cathoilc church you shoud probably get in touch with a priest. Does he or his family have a church that they attend in the area? I can't give you a whole lot of help with a church since I am not from St. Louis (my FI is and we chose the Shrine of St. Joseph for our wedding). While you most likely will be able to be married in a Catholic church without converting, you will have to attend premarital counseling and make certain promises such as being willing to have children and promise to baptise and raise them Catholic. So it is important to think about if you are going to be comfortable making such promises as well as the religious practices of your future family. Also if either you has been previously married you will need to get an annulment before being married in the church, and this may take some time.

    The ladies on the Catholic weddings board are great at answering questions and this website is a great resource.  http://catholicweddinghelp.com/
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    daveANDkristendaveANDkristen member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_missouri-st-louis_newly-engaged-need-ideas-budget-friendly-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:87Discussion:7d2af2c9-4344-4b4f-8c33-5b08644ca581Post:eec8ab49-faa1-416f-b158-f45b1cb3e195">Re: Newly engaged + need ideas! Budget friendly please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]While you most likely will be able to be married in a Catholic church without converting, you will have to attend premarital counseling and make certain promises such as being willing to have children and promise to baptise and raise them Catholic. So it is important to think about if you are going to be comfortable making such promises as well as the religious practices of your future family. Also if either you has been previously married you will need to get an annulment before being married in the church, and this may take some time. Posted by Tami87[/QUOTE]

    Yep we are fully prepared to go through premarital counseling, and I am comfortable baptising/raising our children Catholic but they will be informed about all faiths because I believe that a person's faith is really a decision they have to make at an older age.  Neither of us has been previously married so no problem there.  We plan to get started on the church search soon :)  Thanks for the link, I will check it out!
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    edlangstonedlangston
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I am Catholic, my fiance is not.  As long as one of you was baptised Catholic and you go through the pre-marital counseling (called Pre-Cana) you should be fine.  If his family are not parishioners then you will have to go through formally "petitioning" the church, which is something they do for you and you don't really have to worry about.  That is the only extra step you'll have.  The other thing to think about is he may want to join the parish because your ceremony fees, depending on the church, could be hundreds cheaper if he's a member.  Some pretty churches are St Francis Xavier (aka College Church) at SLU, St Monica's in Creve Coeur, and there's one in South county that is known for renting out to weddings weekly (I don't remember the name).  It's more of the old church feel but no parking lot so your guests would have to find parking in the subdivision.  Having two different religions won't change anything, but the priest may suggest that you forgo offering Communion if half of your guests aren't Catholic.
    With our wedding, my fam. is all Catholic as well as half of his, so we are planning to include Communion in our ceremony.  Hope this helps!

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