Pre-wedding Parties

shower guest drama

My FMIL decided she wanted to throw me a shower so that she could invite some of her old work friends, who kept asking her when the shower was. I've never met these women, and she is not planning on inviting them to the wedding. 

I know that the rule is you must invite everyone who comes to a pre-wedding event to the wedding, too. But she has said she doesn't plan to invite these women to the wedding. Should I share with her this rule, and insist that they're invited, even though that adds about 10 people to our already-over-inflated guest list? 

Re: shower guest drama

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    I think I'd share the rule but then decline the shower.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree. Just tell her that you're uncomfortable inviting anyone to a shower that you're not inviting to the wedding, and that you're not able to add anyone else to the wedding guest list. If her main goal is to have a party and introduce you to these people, why not do a lunch or a tea?
  • lilianne22lilianne22 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_shower-guest-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:8b9b9aef-4563-4726-881f-1157e399fbf9Post:9ca17880-ff2c-4ef0-a7f5-a6b24dfd0aaa">Re: shower guest drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree. Just tell her that you're uncomfortable inviting anyone to a shower that you're not inviting to the wedding, and that you're not able to add anyone else to the wedding guest list. If her main goal is to have a party and introduce you to these people, why not do a lunch or a tea?
    Posted by vm_andrews[/QUOTE]

    This.
  • edited December 2011
    Well, the shower is on, because everyone's already been invited. So what now? 
  • dianenjnjdianenjnj member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    go, have fun, and smile.  it's not your fault
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