Invitations

GinaV0822 · September 2012

This isn't a post regarding wording on invitations, but the invitations themselves. Our wedding is going to have a tropical/beachy vibe to it. Nothing over the top, but hopefully enough to know it's tropical but not enough to think you're at a luau. Most of our friends thought we would do a destination and get married on a beach. But we couldn't because we have family members that we absolutely want there that could not travel. So we're bringing the tropical to Chicago.

Now, for my question. We found an invitation that we both love. I feel like because we love it I shouldn't even question this but I am anyways. It is not a traditional fancy or frilly inviation. The background is sand, with the ocean rolling in. It's similar to what I've attached, but not exact. Do you think this would only be appropriate for a destination wedding?

Most everyone knows my FI wears a hawaiian shirt most days and is a Jimmy Buffett fanatic and is very laid back and loves the beach. When they see the inviation I know they will say that it's very "us". But I just wonder if it's appropriate or not since we are getting married in the midwest.

What do you think? If you received an invitation like this would you think it was weird that it's not a destination? Or would you just expect that we'll be having a tropical theme?

Meegles4 · September 2012

I think it's probably fine, unless you want your wedding to be formal. If you're fine if guests show up in flip flops and sundresses, then go for it. If you want women in cocktail attire and men in suits, I might go for something more formal-looking. If this were the case, you could always find a more traditional invitation that maybe just has a beachy icon like a starfish or something. Subtle, but would convey a formal tone if you need it to.

Maggie0829 · September 2012

I would not think that it was weird to receive an invite like the one you described and it not be a DW. I would just think that the couple was having a tropical/beach theme wedding.

I say if you love the invites, they go with your theme, and they reflect who you are as a couple then get them.

GinaV0822 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitations-48?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c584f426-897d-439c-9ffc-1780cd18ecb6Post:f32cb7e2-43c0-460b-b090-72480e784d09">Re: Invitations</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's probably fine, unless you want your wedding to be formal. If you're fine if guests show up in flip flops and sundresses, then go for it. If you want women in cocktail attire and men in suits, I might go for something more formal-looking. If this were the case, you could always find a more traditional invitation that maybe just has a beachy icon like a starfish or something. Subtle, but would convey a formal tone if you need it to.
Posted by Meegles4[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>This is a good point. I hadn't thought about guests thinking it was informal. Most of the guests know the hotel we're having it at and that it is a formal affair. At least I would assume they know this. Hmm, something to think about. </div>

Just H · September 2012

I think this is fine, especially to people who know you and know your personalities. I do agree that if you are wanting something more formal there are more subtle "beachy" invitations. This is your day, if you love it, use it. Stay true to you

[Deleted User] · September 2012

We are currently debating on a Destination Wedding vs. a more traditional at home wedding where we both live, so I'm totally with you on the beachy theme (and I love it!)

To the poster who said it might make the guests think it's informal, I'm not sure if that's so true. I've heard a lot of people say that the invitation sets the formality of the wedding, but I've gotten a lot of new modern invites that were very casual and everyone showed up in formal attire.

I think it's more about knowing the couple (or venue). And you will always get some people that dress more casual or over dress, but that's going to happen regardless of what your invitation looks like.

Meegles4 · September 2012

Yeah, I think if you're trying for something semi-formal, it might be tough to convey that with a beach-themed invitation. I know it's hard because if the invitations are really "you", you should use them. But I know if I knew a wedding was on a beach or received a "beachy" invitation, I'd probably dress a bit more casually than if I were going to a more traditional or formal wedding.

Edit post: I heart wine, I agree that it's about knowing the venue and couple. But, if I know a wedding is on a beach, I'm less inclined to wear fancy shoes, etc. I'd likely wear sandals. I'd probably wear the same type of dress that I'd wear to a more formal wedding, but that's because I don't have many "casual" dresses. I'd probably wear a more casual of my semi-formal clothes, if that makes sense. If that's all OK with the OP, then I think a full-on beach themed invitation works. But if it's not, I think there are other ways to convey the theme without it being all beach all the time.

In addition, it's not just the imagery that conveys the tone. Font and wording do too. So a more formal script font compared to Comic Sans might help. Just something to think about OP. I don't tend to put a lot of stock in how an invitation looks, but if it's something really casual I do tend to notice. I also look at the venue. If it's a country club, I dress differently than if it's in someone's back yard. And that doesn't have much to do with how the invitation looks.

All things to think about!

wrigleyville · September 2012

Chicago has beaches, so I wouldn't think it was weird.

Like the others said, I'd probably get a "casual" vibe from it, though.

Perhaps there are some more formal invitations out there that still have a shell, starfish, or water type theme? I've seen some really pretty embossed ones with shells and/or starfish near the water that looked much more formal. I can't remember where, but you can probably find them all over the place - Wedding Paper Divas, Magnet Street, etc.

Edit: Yup, it was Wedding Paper Divas. Here's the page with beach invitations:

http://www.weddingpaperdivas.com/shop/tropical--wedding_invitations.htm

GinaV0822 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitations-48?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c584f426-897d-439c-9ffc-1780cd18ecb6Post:c703dab6-ffd7-4a7a-ad55-5bc9ea850890">Re: Invitations</a>:
[QUOTE]We are currently debating on a Destination Wedding vs. a more traditional at home wedding where we both live, so I'm totally with you on the beachy theme (and I love it!) To the poster who said it might make the guests think it's informal, I'm not sure if that's so true. I've heard a lot of people say that the invitation sets the formality of the wedding, but I've gotten a lot of new modern invites that were very casual and everyone showed up in formal attire. I think it's more about knowing the couple (or venue). And you will always get some people that dress more casual or over dress, but that's going to happen regardless of what your invitation looks like.
Posted by I Heart Wine[/QUOTE]

<div>The beachy theme has been a lot of fun to plan. But trying to be careful not to go overboard. I love it because FI feels so involved and he's so excited because it reflects our personalities. Good luck!</div>

GinaV0822 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitations-48?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c584f426-897d-439c-9ffc-1780cd18ecb6Post:dd63da0a-814a-4c7d-b8d3-f66cc0d36db6">Re: Invitations</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, I think if you're trying for something semi-formal, it might be tough to convey that with a beach-themed invitation. I know it's hard because if the invitations are really "you", you should use them. But I know if I knew a wedding was on a beach or received a "beachy" invitation, I'd probably dress a bit more casually than if I were going to a more traditional or formal wedding. Edit post: I heart wine, I agree that it's about knowing the venue and couple. But, if I know a wedding is on a beach, I'm less inclined to wear fancy shoes, etc. I'd likely wear sandals. I'd probably wear the same type of dress that I'd wear to a more formal wedding, but that's because I don't have many "casual" dresses. I'd probably wear a more casual of my semi-formal clothes, if that makes sense. If that's all OK with the OP, then I think a full-on beach themed invitation works. But if it's not, I think there are other ways to convey the theme without it being all beach all the time. In addition, it's not just the imagery that conveys the tone. Font and wording do too. So a more formal script font compared to Comic Sans might help. Just something to think about OP. I don't tend to put a lot of stock in how an invitation looks, but if it's something really casual I do tend to notice. I also look at the venue. If it's a country club, I dress differently than if it's in someone's back yard. And that doesn't have much to do with how the invitation looks. All things to think about!
Posted by Meegles4[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>All great things to think about. I'll talk with FI about them and see what he thinks as well. I think the idea of a formal script will help. We are also having a plated meal so hopefully the response card will let them know it's more formal. We're fine if people were to come in sundresses, as some people are most comfortable in that anyways. </div><div>
</div><div>It's certainly not black tie, but it's cocktail attire for sure. Although last week I had a dream that my sister was in shorts and a t-shirt...</div><div>
</div><div>Thanks!

</div>

wrigleyville · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitations-48?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c584f426-897d-439c-9ffc-1780cd18ecb6Post:c703dab6-ffd7-4a7a-ad55-5bc9ea850890">Re: Invitations</a>:
[QUOTE]We are currently debating on a Destination Wedding vs. a more traditional at home wedding where we both live, so I'm totally with you on the beachy theme (and I love it!) To the poster who said it might make the guests think it's informal, I'm not sure if that's so true. I've heard a lot of people say that the invitation sets the formality of the wedding, but I've gotten a lot of new modern invites that were very casual and everyone showed up in formal attire. I think it's more about knowing the couple (or venue). And you will always get some people that dress more casual or over dress, but that's going to happen regardless of what your invitation looks like.
Posted by I Heart Wine[/QUOTE]
This is true too. The only time I actually dress casually is when it's on an actual beach or in someone's backyard. Otherwise, I look up the venue online to check out pictures and plan accordingly.

GinaV0822 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitations-48?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c584f426-897d-439c-9ffc-1780cd18ecb6Post:63cf03b1-ae48-410b-943d-a7854abd86e9">Re: Invitations</a>:
[QUOTE]Chicago has beaches, so I wouldn't think it was weird. :) Like the others said, I'd probably get a "casual" vibe from it, though. Perhaps there are some more formal invitations out there that still have a shell, starfish, or water type theme? I've seen some really pretty embossed ones with shells and/or starfish near the water that looked much more formal. I can't remember where, but you can probably find them all over the place - Wedding Paper Divas, Magnet Street, etc. Edit: Yup, it was Wedding Paper Divas. Here's the page with beach invitations: <a href="http://www.weddingpaperdivas.com/shop/tropical--wedding_invitations.htm" rel="nofollow">http://www.weddingpaperdivas.com/shop/tropical--wedding_invitations.htm</a>
Posted by wrigleyville[/QUOTE]

<div>Ohh, there's some really great ones here too. I bookmarked and will look closely later on.</div><div>
</div><div>Thank you!</div>

Meegles4 · September 2012

Yeah, and actually, I thought you were getting married on a beach in Chicago, hence me droning on about formality. It appears you're not getting married on a beach and I realize the venue will be on the invitation and clue guests into that fact, but it could still be a little confusing, KWIM? I think there's a way to incorporate the beach and still be formal.

ETA: Weight of the paper also dictates formality. So, a heavier cardstock or maybe a pocket fold or something conveys formality more than a thin piece of paper/stock. Also, Wrigley brought up a good point about embossing, etc. That can help, too! I think some of those invitations on Wedding Paper Divas are a bit more casual, but the ones that have just a hint of the theme, like a small image at the top or along the side, coupled with a nice script and a heavier paper would work.

[Deleted User] · September 2012

I guess when I receive an invitation for a wedding in downtown Chicago on a Saturday night, I just know that it will be formal regardless of if the invitation tells me that.

Ya know?

But I see what people are saying about if it's not clear about the venue and with the beach theme being confusing. Definitely something to think about.

Peledreamsofrain · September 2012

I think you can do it, but I do agree that you have to work on making it more formal. It would just take a little work though. Perhaps making the image watermark, like in this invite:

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · September 2012

I will also chime in to say that I think that invitation is VERY casual. I think all invitations with background pictures like that look casual. Like something you'd print a flyer on for a sorority luau. Less is more with more formal events, IMO. (And I have trouble keeping that mantra in my mind, too.)

I think something like this would be great. Formal, traditional invitation with hints of a "beach" theme: http://www.weddingpaperdivas.com/product/3145/thermography_wedding_invitations_shoreline_treasures.html

[Deleted User] · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitations-48?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c584f426-897d-439c-9ffc-1780cd18ecb6Post:897baf00-3712-41ed-9266-b04fd49e5736">Re:Invitations</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Invitations: I've been to at least two weddings in downtown Chigaco where you would have been mistaken to assume this. And for out of town guests who aren't familiar with the area, it could be seriously confusing.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Ok, so we are both right.

GinaV0822 · September 2012

I appreciate all the responses. We've definitely got something to think about! We really really do want to use them but we will certainly need to consider the guests thoughts.

Invitations

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