SMALL wedding: pros/cons???

rbooher11 · December 2011

My fiancee and i are considering taking our 75+ wedding and downsizing to JUST family: 13 people. We would have more of a destination wedding, in Savannah; where we got in engaged, first vaca together etc.

My question is, we are getting ALOT of negative pushback saying we're going to regret not having the dancing/wedding traditions

I was wondering, people who have had small weddings do you regret this?????

NOLAbridealmost · December 2011

I can't speak with authority because I didn't go this route, but I will say that there are many, many women on TK who have already married in beautiful, small ceremonies that get the itch to do a big "do over" wedding because they wish they had gone bigger. There are also many women who did the small wedding and loved it and never would dream of anything else. My advice is to be 100% sure what you want before making your choice. Keep in mind that small weddings are meaningful, beautiful, and REAL weddings and a do-over is freaking tacky.

Avion22 · December 2011

When I married my late husband, we went for a small ceremony with immediate family only -- like you, that turned out to be about 13 people. It was a nice intimate ceremony with a sit-down lunch after. We had a small cake that we cut, but no music or dancing. We basically went that route because we were young and didn't have much money, so it was a way to have a nice wedding that we could afford -- plus at that time I just didn't feel comfortable being the center of attention. I don't regret a thing. It was right for me at the time, and it ended up being perfect.

This time, 10 years later, we're going for a larger (100 person), more traditional wedding/reception, mostly because we can afford it now.

AdeleDazeem · December 2011

My husband and I had 12 people total at our wedding (including us).

Neither my husband nor I have ONE regret. I never wanted to do a first dance, Father/Daughter, Mother/Son dance. I didn't want to throw a bouquet. We didn't want four hundred sets of eyes on us as we said our vows.

We had a destination wedding in Bermuda with our parents and siblings. Our small ceremony was followed by a four course dinner on the beach. Quite frankly, I think our wedding was the most awesome thing ever :-) But, I realize I'm totally biased.

EDIT: If you want to see pictures (we still had a profressional photographer, videographer, florist, and musicians), you can see my married bio. Link in siggy.

ElleB87 · December 2011

H and I had a DW, it was just the two of us and we loved every aspect of our day. We wouldn't change anything and we certainly don't feel like we missed out on anything like bouquet tosses, first dances, etc...

Don't let others dictate how you choose to wed. If you listen to others and ignore your own wishes you may regret it down the road. The people who are giving you negative feedback are being extremely rude.

vineyard12 · December 2011

You should definitly choose how YOU and your FI want YOUR day to be. We are having a small wedding of about 50 people, and I am perfectly happy with that (family only, only two friends were invited-one for each of us), and only an MOH and best man. My brother and his wife had a beautiful DW wedding on St Thomas of 10 people. They didn't care to do something big. They still had a professional photographer. They had a sit down family style dinner and even a small cake to cut. I think it's all personal preferance really.

Tanq&Tonic · December 2011

We had a small-ish wedding. 40 guests. And we still had all of the things we wanted -- a cake, a fun first dance, packed dance floor. We ended up doing everything we would have done with 400 people, but chose only to share it with those closest to us.

What feels right to you and FI? Some people want the big party. We knew we definitely didn't (plus all of the associated drama that comes with planning one). It was a really easy decision for us. Go with what feels right to you.

Cortney1982 · December 2011

We plan on having only 35 people who mean the world to us, I think it's going to make is more special. Plus I don't think I'd be comfotable having 100 people starring at us during the ceremony.

AurorasEnvy · December 2011

I agree with PPs, do what you & your FI know in your heart you want to do, and don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

I think the type of people that regret what they do are the people who did what they did for the wrong reasons (and didn't do what they REALLY wanted) - the bride who desired a small, intimate wedding but had a large, traditional affair because it is what her family wanted and the bride who wanted a large, traditional wedding but did a smaller, intimate wedding because it was less stressful, etc etc.

saric83 · December 2011

We had a DW with 35 people (versus the big wedding in town with 300+ friends and family), and it was perfect for us, and there's nothing we regret about it!! We wanted more a chill atmosphere where we could just celebrate and relax with our nearest and dearest.

We chose not to have any kind of party back home. And even up until the weeks right before we all left, my mom kept saying that we were going to change our minds about wanting to have a big blown out dance party (I love to dance), but nope!

Good luck figuring it out!

Erin Nov11 · December 2011

We had a small wedding with 25 people and wouldn't change a thing. We had a lovely relaxed long lunch with goodfood, good music (no dancing), speeches and cake. We got to spend a decent amount of time with each and every one of our guests which they all commented on that they really appreciated. I really loved that aspect of the day too.

I think that a wedding that size isn't for everyone but if that's what you would prefer then go for it.

prettyfacegal · December 2011

Do what you'FI feel comfortable with.

mandi921vh · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_small-wedding-proscons?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:e762e892-adca-48ba-be93-db0475016d08Post:1d9c4b3b-5722-4a27-aa89-3c786c3fa5f9">Re: SMALL wedding: pros/cons???</a>:
[QUOTE]Do what you'FI feel comfortable with.
Posted by prettyfacegal[/QUOTE]

<div>This. Only you two can make this decision.</div>

GreenEire · December 2011

We only had about 50 people at our wedding and I was perfectly happy with it. I have never wanted a huge extravagant wedding. I didn't want to spend the money and I hate being center of attention, so it was nice only having our nearest and dearest there instead of a crowd of people we barely know.

rbooher11 · January 2012

Thank you all for your help... we are 100% doing the small wedding.... and have decided to have my oldest sister officiate the ceremony

AHH CAN'T WAIT!!

SMALL wedding: pros/cons???

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