Last night went worse than I thought it would. It was one of the most emotionally exhausting nights of my life. I spent the night at my parents because I was so nervous.
FI had a talk with his family and called me after from the guest room in the basement. Basically he told me that his father said he wouldn't come to the wedding and that he would call the whole family to tell them what was happening and not to come to the wedding. They said that they had never interfered in our lives before and never would again- that they just needed to invite these more people. They still couldn't seem to come up with a number of people that actually needed to be invited (originally I heard 10, but they now just wanted to invite a group of people from India). My response was if they wanted to be rude enough to uninvite their own family members to do this they could (it was a joke!). The mother actually came to my FI and said that she would uninvite her family members to be able to invite these other people but not to tell FI's dad... they all lie and keep secrets from each other!!! I flipped out when he told me that part because I couldn't believe his family would be so rude as to uninvite previously invited people just to invite these other people.
I told this to my parents and their response was that his family wins, they are so tired of hearing about this crap and they'll just pay for the extra people but that FI and I needed to come up with terms for allowing those people to be invited. So we decided that we wanted in writing an agreement that stated that the guest list was now final and that if we heard one more negative comment regarding the wedding the deal was off and there would be no wedding and we would elope without them.
They agreed to this, but then FI told me that his parent's said that I was the one who had been rude and disrespectful. Apparently they read into one sentance of the email I sent as a response to FSIL which read "you are far worse than your parent's because you guilt [FI] like they never would". I flipped out- I have literally done nothing but go out of my way for 4 years to be the perfect daughter in law. They continue to treat me with blatant disrespect but I still am perfect in front of them. Their son-in-law probably beats their daughter and they think he's the perfect in law and I'm the disrespectful one? I literally had a contusion. FI went back to his parents where they said that they over reacted and very much want me to be part of their family... I guess that was them saving face?
We're not saying a single word more about the wedding or any detail of our lives to his family again. They'll never change and I want nothing to do with them. FI will go visit them alone a few times a year, but they are not welcome in my house.
OH and one last thing: those emails that FSIL wrote to us and that the parents denied knowing about? They told her to write them. She's super pissed at them for putting her in the middle (although I'm pretty sure she enjoyed it) and told them never to use her like that again.
May 2013 February Siggy: Invitations
