Undoing verbal invites

barduini · May 2011

I work in an elementary school so of course I opened my big mouth to a few casual acquaintances at work about inviting them to my wedding. Now that we are making the list I no longer want to include these people because I feel if I invite this person I have to invite that person and so on. I feel like I can justify inviting just my teammates but not the rest. Is it rude to cut them? Should I tell them?

barduini · May 2011

So just let the chips fall where they may and hope no one asks why I invite Mary but not Suzy?

ootmother2 · May 2011

It's rude to cut them

mespence47 · May 2011

If YOU said it, YOU have to invite them. I'm in the same messy mess over here. But... Oh well.

If my FMIL verbally invited them, well, they are not getting an invitation.

jferlenda · May 2011

I'm a teacher as well, so I understand that drawing the lines in your school of who to invite is really hard. However, if you told them they were invited, you do need to invite them. Especially if you're inviting others from school.

Either you have to figure where you're drawing the line, including all those you verbally invited, or IF YOU MUST the only other option would be just not to invite anyone from school and apologize to all, saying that you shouldn't have gotten their hopes up, but your budget is just allowing for close friends and family.

shellydiane82085 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_undoing-verbal-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d46099fd-86d4-4a0b-aec1-d4af346f8f5aPost:7b9a91da-041b-4667-a25b-89be11438062">Re: Undoing verbal invites</a>:
[QUOTE]So just let the chips fall where they may and hope no one asks why I invite Mary but not Suzy?
Posted by barduini[/QUOTE]

<div>Clearly, that's exactly the advice that was given to you.</div><div>
</div><div>If you said you're inviting them, you really should. It's incredibly rude not to.</div>

verymegv · May 2011

it's definitely going to be a snub to not invite them, and it's really a gamble to not do it. you run the risk of getting into awkward convos about it or having them approach you about it, or simply them dissolving whatever relationship you have.

barduini · May 2011

I only verbally invited 2 people but in doing so I feel like I am snubbing others. It is so hard to draw the line especially when they have a school shower for you and everyone comes! Both was surprised when I told them......UGH! Like I said before it isnt about them it is about others and I dont want to look like a beotch.

My advice to newly engaged couples is keep your mouth shut about the guest list until you are ready to mail the invites

)

aleighk1 · May 2011

The shower etiquette is to invite everyone to the wedding who was invited to the shower. Work and church showers, however, are the exception. If someone throws you a work/church shower, you are obligated to invite them to the wedding.

Mrs.B6302007 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_undoing-verbal-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d46099fd-86d4-4a0b-aec1-d4af346f8f5aPost:86084da1-109b-45b8-aa8e-a023d142dceb">Re: Undoing verbal invites</a>:
[QUOTE]I only verbally invited 2 people but in doing so I feel like I am snubbing others. It is so hard to draw the line especially when they have a school shower for you and everyone comes! Both was surprised when I told them......UGH! Like I said before it isnt about them it is about others and I dont want to look like a beotch. <strong>My advice to newly engaged couples is keep your mouth shut about the guest list until you are ready to mail the invites :o) </strong>
Posted by barduini[/QUOTE]

Well said!!

mm4662 · May 2011

I'm a teacher in a school with over 100 teachers. I invited the few teachers I was close to and didn't feel like, "because I invited Y, I have to invite X".

Invite the two you told and stop talking about the wedding at school. Problem solved :-)

barduini · May 2011

Ok thank you everyone for your help. I decided to keep the verbal invites, invite the 2 others to prevent hurt feelings and relax already

)

Undoing verbal invites

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