Confused

Princesslilyluv · December 2010

My cousin, who also is my maid of honor, told me that if I register and have a bridal party, it will take away from my wedding gift. She said, for example, if someone buys me something for say, $100+ then for the day of my wedding that guest won't bring anything, like a card with cash in it. Is this true? How does this all work? Does a guest spend separate money on a gift thats on the registry, and also give a card with cash to the wedding?

sister2groom · December 2010

Why exactly does it matter? Whether you get a gift at the shower or the reception, it's meant to congratulate you on your marriage. Some people give gifts at both, but you certainly shouldn't expect it. I know if I went to a shower and bought a gift I would definitely give a smaller gift at the wedding than if I hadn't gone to the shower.

And I'm not sure where bridal party comes in to your question, but if I were a bridesmaid spending a fair amount of money on attire and other wedding-related expenses (like possibly throwing a shower) I would definitely have to take that into account when giving a gift because there is a finite amount of money I can afford to spend celebrating one wedding.

kellya01 · December 2010

It sounds like you are using the term "bridal party" to refer to a "bridal shower" where it is a pre-wedding shower where guests, or certain guests, are invited to a party and the idea is to "shower" you with gifts, presumably from your registry.

These are considered wedding gifts.

If those same people come to your wedding (most likely they will come to your actual ceremony), they may or may not choose to bring a 2nd gift. To expect someone to bring a 2nd gift is just crazy talk.

A lot of guests who bring you a bridal shower gift will bring a separate card to the ceremony, and depending on the person, sometimes that card will include a nominal amount of money if they have additional budget to share with you. Don't expect your cards to have $$ inside. Be pleasantly surprised to find money in a card.

I don't know if this clears up any confusion for you, but please keep asking if you're still unclear!! Good luck!

jcbender0 · December 2010

I have given shower gifts and cash at the wedding. I think this might be regional, because I believe it is pretty customary here to do that.

Galaxy8227 · December 2010

Most people will give you a shower gift (if invited to the shower) and also a wedding gift. They do not have to, but many people will.

TEA&Co · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_confused-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:3b423058-99f4-4f3d-ad08-06cf9920d7b5Post:4b6309c2-cf89-4e82-b8eb-637ad0c9e3e5">Re: Confused</a>:
[QUOTE]I have given shower gifts and cash at the wedding. I think this might be regional, because I believe it is pretty customary here to do that.
Posted by jcbender0[/QUOTE]

This.

coraloc · December 2010

I always give a gift for both the shower and the wedding. I usually spend no more than $50 on the shower gift and give about $150 for the wedding. Of course, the rule of thumb, is that you give enough to "cover" the dinner for the wedding; however, if someone decides to have their reception at a place that costs $200 per person, that's on them.

And it's true that the bridal party has more costs associated with your wedding than the typical guest, so don't be surprised if they don't spend as much. Most of the showers I've attended, the bridal party combines their money for a group gift.

megandjay · December 2010

I am familiar with giving a gift at the bridal shower and then a gift or cash at the wedding- depending on the registry.

Princesslilyluv · December 2010

YES, I was referring to the briday party as the bridal shower party. I certainly do not expect cash or other gifts, but I was just confused because people keep asking me questions! I am just telling them, "IDK! I'm just the bride! I just want to get married!" LOL.... but thank you - this has cleared up my confusion!

nda_roxybabe · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_confused-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:3b423058-99f4-4f3d-ad08-06cf9920d7b5Post:9bd64aea-4fae-4404-955a-978bd07bd980">Confused</a>:
[QUOTE]My cousin, who also is my maid of honor, told me that if I register and have a bridal party, it will take away from my wedding gift. She said, for example, if someone buys me something for say, $100+ then for the day of my wedding that guest won't bring anything, like a card with cash in it. Is this true? How does this all work? Does a guest spend separate money on a gift thats on the registry, and also give a card with cash to the wedding?
Posted by Princesslilyluv[/QUOTE]
What's it matter?

jagore08 · December 2010

I usually pick a small gift off the registry (under $50) for the shower and a larger gift off the registry for the wedding. I don't give cash because I just don't like to.

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